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*Pregnant 15 yo* Was her mom right to say this? Edit in Red.

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Poll

Question: Do you feel the mom was right in saying that?

Options:

Yes. It's true. If she wants to be a mom she needs to take complete and unrealistic responsibility for her burden.

No. I don't feel that's fair at all.

I think that some responsibilty is good. But what the mom is asking is unreasonable.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 219

View Results

In response to questions, I contacted my aunt who knows the family, today. The update from her is that the mom will not allow her daughter to get on any type of assistance. She is of the mind that you take care of your own and don't live off the government. She has always paid her own way and she expects her daughter to do no less. Schools with free daycare is off the table too. She will not coddle her and let her take the easy way out.

There's a 15 year old girl. She got pregnant by her boyfriend who skipped out soon after. And she hid the pregnancy from her parents until it was too late for an abortion.Now she's 6 months pregnant and her mom is pushing hard for adoption. She has her whole life ahead of her, she doesn't need to be saddled with a baby, yada, yada, yada. But the girl really wants to keep her baby.So finally this is what the mom said,

Mom: "Okay." "You want to keep you baby?" "You take care of him all the time." "I will not be a babysitter." "I raised my baby, now it's your turn."

Daughter: "But what about school?" "Aren't you going to watch him while I'm at school?"

Mom: "No." "Looks like you're going to be needing a job to pay for daycare." "Not to mention his diapers, formula, clothes and whatever else he needs." "You want to be a mom so bad?" "Then take on all the responsibilities of a mother.

Daughter: "But that's not fair!"

by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 9:22 PM
Replies (41-50):
dudestfd
by Member on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:12 PM
Go mama! She is completely right. Besides the kid can do school work on like and get a job. Her mom might lighten up when he gets here and be willing to help watch him at some pt.
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paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:13 PM

Your parents kick ass! Her mom is just an ass. Jmho.

Quoting ragitty:

I got pregnant at 17, had him at 18. When I was deciding whether or not to adopt or parent I was leaning towards adoption because I knew I could not provide everything he deserved. It was always a dream to give my children AT LEAST everything I had growing up, which due to 2 amazing parents is no easy task, It wasn't until both of my parents came to me separately and said if I kept him they would do everything they could to help financially support us until I graduated college. Eventually, they talked me into accepting their help and they more than followed through on their offer. While I am extremely grateful for what they have done for me and my family, I still firmly believe they would have been firmly within their rights to say what this mother said, and I could not be angry with them for it. They raised their 4 kids, they shouldn't have to raise their grandchildren (as I continually remind them when they offer to buy him a bunch of new clothes and toys). I am graduating in May and so grateful that they won't have to support us any longer (once again, not that I demand it of them) and I will spend my whole life trying to find a way to repay them for what they have done.

If my children were ever in this position, I hope I would be able to do everything my parents did for me, but I believe the mother is perfectly right to hold the daughter completely responsible. It is one thing to accept help that is offered. It is completely different to demand assistance that was not offered.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

MommySally
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:14 PM
Nice, she wants to make a grown up decision to have sex then she needs to be able to deal with the consequences.
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Retrokitty
by Member on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:14 PM
I doubt the mom wouldn't help out if she was older so yes I think its unreasonable.
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paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:15 PM

School work on like? Do you mean online?

I do online schooling with my ds and let me tell you, it is not a walk in the park! That stuff takes a good 5 hours a day and I don't have to get up every 15 mins to tend to a baby either.

Quoting dudestfd:

Go mama! She is completely right. Besides the kid can do school work on like and get a job. Her mom might lighten up when he gets here and be willing to help watch him at some pt.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:18 PM

To me sex isn't a grown up decision. It's too easy for children to do. And many, many do.

Now buying a house, Opening up your own IRA, Working a full time job, getting married. Those are adult decisions

Quoting MommySally:

Nice, she wants to make a grown up decision to have sex then she needs to be able to deal with the consequences.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

jamiegraham
by on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree!!

Quoting RitaTequila531:

That's true, I get that Mom is upset, frustrated and disappointed but the need to be supportive is still there. That doesn't cost anything at all.

Quoting paganbaby:

I see what the mom is trying to do. Honestly I do. But I'm afraid the mom's decision is going to push her into either giving up her baby for adoption and regretting it (depression, drugs, suicide) or dropping out of school and getting on welfare.

Quoting RitaTequila531:

Those are the plain facts, Mom isn't sugar coating anything.

She chose to have sex .... an outcome is a possible pregnancy.

What's not fair is the Mom being forced to be burdened. She has a life to live and things of her own to do.



paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:18 PM

I never thought about that.

Quoting Retrokitty:

I doubt the mom wouldn't help out if she was older so yes I think its unreasonable.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

ksprague
by New Member on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:18 PM

I was a teen mom, it was NOT easy, me and my now husband both had jobs and took care of our baby... I took on extra classes to graduate early and succeeded... I think the mom is being honest but at the same time i had a wonderful mother that supported my decision to be a mother and although she never bought anything for my daughter unless it was a gift she helped me when possible... watching Chloe or just being supportive while i finished school... The mom should support her daughter and not push her away for a mistake she can not take back...

nocalmegan
by Member on Oct. 24, 2012 at 10:19 PM
Yup. She was 15. She only worked part time not full but she supported me on her own and graduated high school early through independent home study. She went on to beauty school and got her license before she even turned 18. I was In daycare while she worked PT. She BF me so no formula to pay for. Just diapers and clothes.


Quoting paganbaby:

Your mother was 15, went to school full time and held a full time job that payed for all daycare, formula, diapers, clothing, and raised her baby completely on her own? How?

And I think she hid the pregnancy because her mother would have tried to make her abort.

Quoting nocalmegan:

It is. My mom did it with me 23 years ago and this girl can do it now. Its called responsibilty and being held accountable for her actions. Why should gramma be stuck being a babysitter when a 15 year old knows full and well that she can get pregnant from having sex and she hid it as long as she could. She made her bed.....





Quoting paganbaby:

Do you think it's possible for a 15 year old to go to school full time, work full time and take care of her baby?

Quoting CreziaMommyTo2:

she opened her legs, had sex, got pregnant, waited to late to abort, so yea she needs to grow up

mom is doing right by this.

WTG mom, i just hope she sticks to her guns and follows through






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