almost monster-in-law

[boobear2012]

When my fiancée's mom found out I was pregnant she tried shoving abortion at me. Yea I was young, and he didn't have a job, but that was harsh. All through my pregnancy she made it a living hell, and did nothing to help. She even decided to hide my pregnancy from her family until I was 7 months pregnant, and her neighbor saw me. When I went into labor she didn't come to the hospital, and she didn't ask how we were. She just yelled at her son to spend a night at home. My son is almost a year old, and she wants to put photos all around her house, and get a bracelet with his birthstone on it. Is it wrong of me to not want her to?

[Jos40]

All I can say, is tolerate her for hubby's sake. My monster in law is a pain in the ass. But I find that when I make the effort to include her, she lays off the claws on hubby'. And the so called peace makes him happy.

[funhappymom]

I think it's important for you to decide how much involvement you and your fiance want his mom to have in your lives. 

[itsblissmas]

 That's tough. I don't think I'd want that either but depending on how much you'll be around each other you might want to try and "suck it up" for your fiancees sake. How does he feel about this? Good luck to you! =)

[bigmama423]

Her bracelet, her house, oh well I'd say. Stuff like that doesn't matter much to me...

My MIL is a beeatch! That's putting it nicely. she doesn't care at all about any of our kids. When she comes to visit she just wants to see her son. She has caused so much shit between my husband and I it really sucks.

What's even worse, is my husband see's thing in a whole other way. I'm the bad guy here, not her...she crashed the birth of my last child. That's not even all she's done but he makes so many excuses for her, it really sucks!

[boobear2012]

He thinks its perfectly fine of her to want these things.

[kimsardo]

You can feel however you want. You can't stop her from putting up pics or getting a bracelet.  Sounds like she is softening. People change, sometimes slowly.

[kimsardo]

Quoting boobear2012:

He thinks its perfectly fine of her to want these things.

It is fine for her to want these things, it is natural, normal and healthy. Let her, she is starting to deal with things and accept things.  Don't worry about her so much. Be kind, she is the mom of your husband and grandma to your child. She is family.

[boobear2012]

Kimsardo- she still acts like she doesn't want him

[calsmom62]

Think about it in a larger sense...she is your child's grandmother, and will likely be a recurring presence in your son's life. It will be less confusing and less stressful for your son if you are able to help foster a positive relationship BTW him and her. Even though she pushes your buttons. And frankly one day you might begin to find out that she is appreciative of a what a great daughter in law and mother you turned out to be. Good luck. It took me five years to have my mil admit hubby didn't make a bad choice in mates.....

[polkaspots]

My parents also pushed abortion when I got pregnant. It sucked, but now they adore my daughter. My dad has her as his phone background. It took them a while to adjust to the fact that I was having a baby at nineteen. They love her like they love me and my sister. I understand your frustration, and I know it's hard to let your mil be happy with your baby when she pushed abortion. But things change. I understand its tough to share, but if she wants these things for her own enjoyment, it shows that she really loves your son. Don't use her past against her. You wouldn't want her to.