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this woman leaves her son for sex

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Im annoyed my bil cheated on my sil who I love with this woman who leaves her son with her mom for days at a time to fuck my bil. Ok atleast the son is safe but what type of mom does that. Dh n I have date nights when son sleep at his grandmas but its maybe once a month not a week straight. I will never like her, n she will never be allowed to watch my son!!!! Ohh n bil desired to tell the whole town he is going to marry her n have babies....wtf. what do u think.
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by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 4:58 AM
Replies (21-28):
RubyQ
by Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 5:14 AM

 With their mom. How convenient for him! So it's ok for him to leave his kids with family but not her? Obviously, the woman's children's dad is not around?

 Looks like your BIL is still getting the better deal. Able to pursue what he wants (sex) because he has 'the right' person (in your eyes) to watch his kids and then he even gets to be considered noble for it! Yeehawwww! 

  Who says men don't have it easier when it comes to sex?Geeeeeeezzzzzzzzz.......

 Also, if she's a single mother, and can get a safe sitter for one week--or even a day every once in a while, I don't begrudge her a little rest and fun here and there. If she were taking a week off just to sit by the pool, that would be ok? Why are you mad at her for having sex? Is sex that bad? 

 You don't have to be a martyr or a madonna to be a good mom. 

 Not saying I know what this person is like, but it keeps coming back to the point that, because this woman is a mom, she shouldn't want sex.

  Not trying to pick a fight here. Just trying to point out why sometimes women are eachother's own worst enemy. You said nothing in your post about the character of this woman regarding raising her children as concerns what kind of person she is.  You only tried to IMPLY, through her sexuality, that she wasn't fit.      Maybe you don't really know what kind of person she is, maybe there is nothing amiss in the way she is bringing up her children. I don't know. I think, because you are sypathetic to your sister, and want to lash out at this women for that, which is understandable, if there was nothing else to pick on this woman for, you attacked the most vulnerable thing women have in this society--their sexuality.

  When women are 'good girls' in every other way, a woman's right to her sexuality is the first, easiest, and most damaging  thing both men and women go after to discredit or cast aspersions on her character when they need to vent anger on her in some way. In this society, it doesn't matter if you have lived a decent life, are an upstanding citizen, have stellar children, etc. etc. etc. If you are a woman and like and enjoy sex, and-- heaven forbid--even admit that you engage in it, nothing up to that can redeem your character.

   There are a thousand deragatory names for women who have sex outside of marriage--or have sex at all, hahaaaha..., yet none, or only playful ones for men who have sex in the same way. Why do you think that is? Because women themselves keep helping men perpetuate these names and ideas, or the idea that women wanting sex is somehow 'bad'--  an automatic translation, then, that the woman herself is of less than worthy character.

Quoting Brandi_G:

I'm not saying she's a bad mom for wanting sex its for leaving her child with her mom to stay at bil house for up to 5 days straight. Im a mother to and at one time was single you can date n have sex n ur identity I never said she had to give it all up she needs to be more responsible. My bil is guilty of cheating but when she is over his kids are with theirn mom. And honestly idc she enabled a cheater either way it would have happen if not with her then another I'm vilifying her cause like I said leaving ur child for a week for sex I think is wrong.


Quoting RubyQ:



Quoting Brandi_G:

Im annoyed my bil cheated on my sil who I love with this woman who leaves her son with her mom for days at a time to fuck my bil. Ok atleast the son is safe but what type of mom does that. Dh n I have date nights when son sleep at his grandmas but its maybe once a month not a week straight. I will never like her, n she will never be allowed to watch my son!!!! Ohh n bil desired to tell the whole town he is going to marry her n have babies....wtf. what do u think.

 What type of Mom does that? I guess one that is just like the type of Dad that does this. And there are lots of those. People don't think twice about a guy doing this, but if a woman wants sex, she is branded an unfit mother and worse. Somehow, because she's a mother, she's supposed to give up her entire identity.

 Not saying I agree with her enabling a cheater, but it's interesting you're villifying the woman and not the BIL.

Women are their own worst enemies. Sheesk.

Millertime77
by Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 9:11 AM

My son is my world and my husband's world.  I could never leave my child (for any reason). But, there are two sides to every story and I wouldn't just take it out on the woman-your BIL is also responsible in this situation, having said that, it is their life and their sex life, not yours.  I would just stay out of it.  Why do you want to subject yourself to the drama? But, back to your post,  I don't like your use of the "F" word.  It wasn't necessary to get your point across. 

Brandi_G
by Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 10:51 PM
I would pay for it myself


Quoting Bonneata:

Sounds like the BIL needs his head examined. 



Quoting Brandi_G:

I know they were not perfect but they were far from over. He still is trying to get back with sil n keep the new girl. I know he fed the new girl lies he admitted it but she also spoke to my sil so she knows what's going on.





Quoting Bonneata:

What happens on the BIL sex life is not your business and you have no right to judge or automatically dislike this woman because she "ruined a marriage" . There may be details about what went on between husband and wife that you don't know about. For all you know this marriage was over before this event even happened. I understand being angry that your sister in law got hurt but bottom it was the BIL choice to cheat for all you know this woman may have been told the marriage was already over or lord only knows what. 





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Brandi_G
by Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 11:12 PM
You know what I said idc she wants sex great its leaving ur child. Bil kids are with their mom cause they live there not because he got rid of them for sex he does it on his time off. If she took a week off for a vacation once a year no I would not be mad but when its a week two three time a month yes I am. I know her mom cares for her child I know this is not the first time she broke up a family. To be honest I don't know a lot about her but I'm also not calling her a slit or a whore because I don't know her, I'm saying that to leave ur child for multiple days or weeks to have sex n play house with ur new boyfriend is not right. And ur whole last paragraph goes back to I did not call her any name because its not nice n I don't know her life. So like u said not trying to fight. And if u read my other comments ill see in no way am I saying my bil is right he is wrong in a million other ways


Quoting RubyQ:

 With their mom. How convenient for him! So it's ok for him to leave his kids with family but not her? Obviously, the woman's children's dad is not around?

 Looks like your BIL is still getting the better deal. Able to pursue what he wants (sex) because he has 'the right' person (in your eyes) to watch his kids and then he even gets to be considered noble for it! Yeehawwww! 

  Who says men don't have it easier when it comes to sex?Geeeeeeezzzzzzzzz.......

 Also, if she's a single mother, and can get a safe sitter for one week--or even a day every once in a while, I don't begrudge her a little rest and fun here and there. If she were taking a week off just to sit by the pool, that would be ok? Why are you mad at her for having sex? Is sex that bad? 

 You don't have to be a martyr or a madonna to be a good mom. 

 Not saying I know what this person is like, but it keeps coming back to the point that, because this woman is a mom, she shouldn't want sex.

  Not trying to pick a fight here. Just trying to point out why sometimes women are eachother's own worst enemy. You said nothing in your post about the character of this woman regarding raising her children as concerns what kind of person she is.  You only tried to IMPLY, through her sexuality, that she wasn't fit.      Maybe you don't really know what kind of person she is, maybe there is nothing amiss in the way she is bringing up her children. I don't know. I think, because you are sypathetic to your sister, and want to lash out at this women for that, which is understandable, if there was nothing else to pick on this woman for, you attacked the most vulnerable thing women have in this society--their sexuality.

  When women are 'good girls' in every other way, a woman's right to her sexuality is the first, easiest, and most damaging  thing both men and women go after to discredit or cast aspersions on her character when they need to vent anger on her in some way. In this society, it doesn't matter if you have lived a decent life, are an upstanding citizen, have stellar children, etc. etc. etc. If you are a woman and like and enjoy sex, and-- heaven forbid--even admit that you engage in it, nothing up to that can redeem your character.

   There are a thousand deragatory names for women who have sex outside of marriage--or have sex at all, hahaaaha..., yet none, or only playful ones for men who have sex in the same way. Why do you think that is? Because women themselves keep helping men perpetuate these names and ideas, or the idea that women wanting sex is somehow 'bad'--  an automatic translation, then, that the woman herself is of less than worthy character.


Quoting Brandi_G:

I'm not saying she's a bad mom for wanting sex its for leaving her child with her mom to stay at bil house for up to 5 days straight. Im a mother to and at one time was single you can date n have sex n ur identity I never said she had to give it all up she needs to be more responsible. My bil is guilty of cheating but when she is over his kids are with theirn mom. And honestly idc she enabled a cheater either way it would have happen if not with her then another I'm vilifying her cause like I said leaving ur child for a week for sex I think is wrong.





Quoting RubyQ:




Quoting Brandi_G:

Im annoyed my bil cheated on my sil who I love with this woman who leaves her son with her mom for days at a time to fuck my bil. Ok atleast the son is safe but what type of mom does that. Dh n I have date nights when son sleep at his grandmas but its maybe once a month not a week straight. I will never like her, n she will never be allowed to watch my son!!!! Ohh n bil desired to tell the whole town he is going to marry her n have babies....wtf. what do u think.

 What type of Mom does that? I guess one that is just like the type of Dad that does this. And there are lots of those. People don't think twice about a guy doing this, but if a woman wants sex, she is branded an unfit mother and worse. Somehow, because she's a mother, she's supposed to give up her entire identity.

 Not saying I agree with her enabling a cheater, but it's interesting you're villifying the woman and not the BIL.

Women are their own worst enemies. Sheesk.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
KayLundy3
by Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 11:16 PM
1 mom liked this
I think karma is going to bite his ass..
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Acid
by Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 11:18 AM

I'm willing to bet there are LOTS of women, in this room, that do just that.


RubyQ
by Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 5:50 AM

  If you first sentences are true, then your post simply proves my point. 

 Your post title says '"Woman leaves her kids for sex"--NOT "Woman regularly leaves her kids with their grandma". If you had said "Single woman leaves her kids with grandma", that wouldn't have brought much disdain , would it ? It might even have invited sympathy by other posters in her situation of being a single mom.  By saying that she leaves them for sex , which in your recent post you agree doesn't matter, your using the word in the title automatically brings condemnation on her by the majority of those reading it (see posts)--not because she could be neglectful in spending time with them, which should be the point, but because of how she is spending her time away from them. By mentioning the sex--and not the actual time away from the kids--it simply made it more efficient for you to garner agreement with your post. Which proves my other point--that most people still fall into the trap of discrediting a woman's character simply on the basis of sex.

 Honestly, I don't think you're even doing this consciously, but this whole string of posts simply proves how ingrained the stereotypes are, and that the easiest way to discredit a woman is still through her sex life and the fact that if she has one, in whatever manner, she is not a 'good girl'.


Quoting Brandi_G:

You know what I said idc she wants sex great its leaving ur child. Bil kids are with their mom cause they live there not because he got rid of them for sex he does it on his time off. If she took a week off for a vacation once a year no I would not be mad 


Quoting RubyQ:

 With their mom. How convenient for him! So it's ok for him to leave his kids with family but not her? Obviously, the woman's children's dad is not around?

 Looks like your BIL is still getting the better deal. Able to pursue what he wants (sex) because he has 'the right' person (in your eyes) to watch his kids and then he even gets to be considered noble for it! Yeehawwww! 

  Who says men don't have it easier when it comes to sex?Geeeeeeezzzzzzzzz.......

 Also, if she's a single mother, and can get a safe sitter for one week--or even a day every once in a while, I don't begrudge her a little rest and fun here and there. If she were taking a week off just to sit by the pool, that would be ok? Why are you mad at her for having sex? Is sex that bad? 

 You don't have to be a martyr or a madonna to be a good mom. 

 Not saying I know what this person is like, but it keeps coming back to the point that, because this woman is a mom, she shouldn't want sex.

  Not trying to pick a fight here. Just trying to point out why sometimes women are eachother's own worst enemy. You said nothing in your post about the character of this woman regarding raising her children as concerns what kind of person she is.  You only tried to IMPLY, through her sexuality, that she wasn't fit.      Maybe you don't really know what kind of person she is, maybe there is nothing amiss in the way she is bringing up her children. I don't know. I think, because you are sypathetic to your sister, and want to lash out at this women for that, which is understandable, if there was nothing else to pick on this woman for, you attacked the most vulnerable thing women have in this society--their sexuality.

  When women are 'good girls' in every other way, a woman's right to her sexuality is the first, easiest, and most damaging  thing both men and women go after to discredit or cast aspersions on her character when they need to vent anger on her in some way. In this society, it doesn't matter if you have lived a decent life, are an upstanding citizen, have stellar children, etc. etc. etc. If you are a woman and like and enjoy sex, and-- heaven forbid--even admit that you engage in it, nothing up to that can redeem your character.

   There are a thousand deragatory names for women who have sex outside of marriage--or have sex at all, hahaaaha..., yet none, or only playful ones for men who have sex in the same way. Why do you think that is? Because women themselves keep helping men perpetuate these names and ideas, or the idea that women wanting sex is somehow 'bad'--  an automatic translation, then, that the woman herself is of less than worthy character.


Quoting Brandi_G:

I'm not saying she's a bad mom for wanting sex its for leaving her child with her mom to stay at bil house for up to 5 days straight. Im a mother to and at one time was single you can date n have sex n ur identity I never said she had to give it all up she needs to be more responsible. My bil is guilty of cheating but when she is over his kids are with theirn mom. And honestly idc she enabled a cheater either way it would have happen if not with her then another I'm vilifying her cause like I said leaving ur child for a week for sex I think is wrong.





Quoting RubyQ:




Quoting Brandi_G:

Im annoyed my bil cheated on my sil who I love with this woman who leaves her son with her mom for days at a time to fuck my bil. Ok atleast the son is safe but what type of mom does that. Dh n I have date nights when son sleep at his grandmas but its maybe once a month not a week straight. I will never like her, n she will never be allowed to watch my son!!!! Ohh n bil desired to tell the whole town he is going to marry her n have babies....wtf. what do u think.

 What type of Mom does that? I guess one that is just like the type of Dad that does this. And there are lots of those. People don't think twice about a guy doing this, but if a woman wants sex, she is branded an unfit mother and worse. Somehow, because she's a mother, she's supposed to give up her entire identity.

 Not saying I agree with her enabling a cheater, but it's interesting you're villifying the woman and not the BIL.

Women are their own worst enemies. Sheesk.



Bmama1
by Bernadette on Nov. 30, 2012 at 9:13 AM
Yikes
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