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The doctor just assumed that......

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.....my children have multiple fathers.  I went in for an appt for depression and when she was asking me questions she asked if I was a single mother. I said yes.  She asked how many kids do I have and I said four. Then she asked if I get support from any of the fathers.  My mouth just dropped.  I have never had a doctor just assume that.  Usually they will ask about a father and if you want to offer up any more information then you as a patient will do that.


Also before that I had told the nurse don't mind my hair (I was embarrassed because I put this leave-in conditioner in my hair and it made my hair greasy) so I just mentioned that to the nurse so she didn't just think I didn't shower (I am very self conscious) and she said she didn't notice anything other than it being super shiny but "I don't ever put stuff like that in my hair because I'm educated".  I don't really know why she had to say that. 

I don't think there was ever a time when I was offended by something to trivial but this made me think.


EDIT: Yes they all have the same dad (the title is continued with the first sentence of the op) and I am still married.  I put on the paper work that I was separated

by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 8:12 AM
Replies (11-20):
hopeym23
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:09 AM

Oh my.   Rude.



whatplanetweon
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:10 AM
3 moms liked this
The 'I'm educated' person wouldn't have said that if they were really 'educated', tactful, and respectful. Boo on them!!
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xomrs.chase
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:12 AM
3 moms liked this
I got "does the father know?" ( my husband missed ONE appointment). "Is this baby planned?" (Wtf? Yes!) And "did your birth control fail?" (Uhhhhhhhh no? Planned!) OH and when they asked about my husband- and if he worked (yes, full time) they said "good! We like working dads" o.O

I went through 12 doctors (long story. MedIcal Issue). Most were assholes. I wanted to just make a shirt that said:
"I'm 23, married, and we both work full time. And this baby was PLANNED!!!"
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mom2four1978
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:14 AM
2 moms liked this

I'm not sure the doctor meant monetary support. She may have meant support you as in help out with your child.

The nurse, that's just rude.

smac28
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:15 AM

wtf does that mean? Thats the stupidest thing Ive heard in a long time. Glad you're not going back they're ridiculous.

RubyMom0526
by Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:17 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting mjimaging:

Financial strain is often a source for depression so I am not sure I'd be that put off by the doc. But the nurses comment would have bothered me more.


hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:18 AM

she was talking about child support I am sure because she was talking about my income right after.

Quoting mom2four1978:

I'm not sure the doctor meant monetary support. She may have meant support you as in help out with your child.

The nurse, that's just rude.


Heather_309
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:20 AM
1 mom liked this
Wow. My smart ass would've had to spout back with " Yea, it helps to be educated, which is why I'm informing you of my leave in conditioner. Everyday you learn something new!" I can't believe she had the nerve to say that! Compassion is a major asset to the medical field, compassion for every person. If she is going to be snide instead of being compassionate, she should take her educated self and grab a new major!
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jamamama00
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:21 AM
2 moms liked this

Look at it this way: the doc probably thought that if she said, "Do you get any support from the father" and then you had to explain that they all had different dads, then that would make you feel even more bad about the situation? As for the nurse..I'm at a loss. Maybe she's one of those hippie idiots who thinks any type of shampoo/soap, etc is bad for you...those people generally tend to think that they are just so much smarter than everyone else...

mmtosam06
by Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:22 AM

Wow just wow

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