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The doctor just assumed that......

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.....my children have multiple fathers.  I went in for an appt for depression and when she was asking me questions she asked if I was a single mother. I said yes.  She asked how many kids do I have and I said four. Then she asked if I get support from any of the fathers.  My mouth just dropped.  I have never had a doctor just assume that.  Usually they will ask about a father and if you want to offer up any more information then you as a patient will do that.


Also before that I had told the nurse don't mind my hair (I was embarrassed because I put this leave-in conditioner in my hair and it made my hair greasy) so I just mentioned that to the nurse so she didn't just think I didn't shower (I am very self conscious) and she said she didn't notice anything other than it being super shiny but "I don't ever put stuff like that in my hair because I'm educated".  I don't really know why she had to say that. 

I don't think there was ever a time when I was offended by something to trivial but this made me think.


EDIT: Yes they all have the same dad (the title is continued with the first sentence of the op) and I am still married.  I put on the paper work that I was separated

by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 8:12 AM
Replies (41-50):
Maevelyn
by Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:54 AM
1 mom liked this

Your post startes out by saying they have different dads... perhaps you miss typed. Maybe she just didn't assume one way or another if they had one or more dads. I'm pretty sure she was just trying to understand your situation better. Maybe you said something, unknowingly, like you did in your post, that made her believe there was more than one father. 

Quoting hayliedlr:

they don't have different dads I never said that they didn't have diff dads

Quoting CookieMom108:

 I would take the doctors question about whether you get support from the fathers as being a valid question.  You went in there as you said for depression.  You told her you are a single mom of 4 kids and you said yourself they have different dads.  So she was asking if you get support, and I take that to mean support as in....do you get a break....are they involved.....emotional support....things like that.  Unless I'm misunderstanding something, I don't see anything wrong with her question. 

As for the nurse, that's a totally odd comment.  It's not even relevant to hair conditioner! lol.  I would've asked her what she meant by that, and hope she just meant to say something else and flubbed her wording.  If not and she repeated it and really meant to say uneducated, then I don't even know what I'd respond with but it wouldn't be nice.



DakotaHaley
by Crystal on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:55 AM

Yeah I would have been offended by the nurse. As for the doctor she could have said that better instead of assuming, but I know what you mean.

   Maybe look into getting another doctor that makes you feel more comfortable and all. To me that is a big thing to be comfortable with the nurses and the doctors I go to.


Misheldonann
by New Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:57 AM
Maybe she is poo free?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:58 AM
2 moms liked this

no read the full sentence with the title sentence

Quoting Maevelyn:

Your post startes out by saying they have different dads... perhaps you miss typed. Maybe she just didn't assume one way or another if they had one or more dads. I'm pretty sure she was just trying to understand your situation better. Maybe you said something, unknowingly, like you did in your post, that made her believe there was more than one father. 

Quoting hayliedlr:

they don't have different dads I never said that they didn't have diff dads

Quoting CookieMom108:

 I would take the doctors question about whether you get support from the fathers as being a valid question.  You went in there as you said for depression.  You told her you are a single mom of 4 kids and you said yourself they have different dads.  So she was asking if you get support, and I take that to mean support as in....do you get a break....are they involved.....emotional support....things like that.  Unless I'm misunderstanding something, I don't see anything wrong with her question. 

As for the nurse, that's a totally odd comment.  It's not even relevant to hair conditioner! lol.  I would've asked her what she meant by that, and hope she just meant to say something else and flubbed her wording.  If not and she repeated it and really meant to say uneducated, then I don't even know what I'd respond with but it wouldn't be nice.




DakotaHaley
by Crystal on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:59 AM

Also I think what the original poster meant when she said My children have multiple fathers I think that was just leaving off where her title of the post left off.

Her title said: The doctor just assumed that.... and I think she started her post with what the doctor assumed. I could be wrong though. That is how I took it.


hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:59 AM
1 mom liked this

The doctor just assumed..... My children have multiple fathers

Quoting hayliedlr:

no read the full sentence with the title sentence

Quoting Maevelyn:

Your post startes out by saying they have different dads... perhaps you miss typed. Maybe she just didn't assume one way or another if they had one or more dads. I'm pretty sure she was just trying to understand your situation better. Maybe you said something, unknowingly, like you did in your post, that made her believe there was more than one father. 

Quoting hayliedlr:

they don't have different dads I never said that they didn't have diff dads

Quoting CookieMom108:

 I would take the doctors question about whether you get support from the fathers as being a valid question.  You went in there as you said for depression.  You told her you are a single mom of 4 kids and you said yourself they have different dads.  So she was asking if you get support, and I take that to mean support as in....do you get a break....are they involved.....emotional support....things like that.  Unless I'm misunderstanding something, I don't see anything wrong with her question. 

As for the nurse, that's a totally odd comment.  It's not even relevant to hair conditioner! lol.  I would've asked her what she meant by that, and hope she just meant to say something else and flubbed her wording.  If not and she repeated it and really meant to say uneducated, then I don't even know what I'd respond with but it wouldn't be nice.





ebbierowe
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 10:00 AM
I know a single mother of 5. Her husband left her...

Quoting Maureen-MD:

when you say "single mother of 4" my 1st thought is that there are multiple fathers. Sorry, it just is and in this day and age that is not uncommon. 


I don't know what to make of the "hair comment"

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mommyinthe303
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 10:00 AM

WHOA!!! What??????? I have 3 different fathers, and I have had a few encounters but I always put them in their place. All of my kids dads are not there 2 of them yes but my husband who is not a father to any of them is more of a dad than their own dads. I would find a new doc and make a complaint. Good luck honey.

CookieMom108
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 10:00 AM

  You said in the first sentence of your post they have multiple fathers, correct?  I took that to mean different dads.    

Quoting hayliedlr:

they don't have different dads I never said that they didn't have diff dads

Quoting CookieMom108:

 I would take the doctors question about whether you get support from the fathers as being a valid question.  You went in there as you said for depression.  You told her you are a single mom of 4 kids and you said yourself they have different dads.  So she was asking if you get support, and I take that to mean support as in....do you get a break....are they involved.....emotional support....things like that.  Unless I'm misunderstanding something, I don't see anything wrong with her question. 

As for the nurse, that's a totally odd comment.  It's not even relevant to hair conditioner! lol.  I would've asked her what she meant by that, and hope she just meant to say something else and flubbed her wording.  If not and she repeated it and really meant to say uneducated, then I don't even know what I'd respond with but it wouldn't be nice.


 

hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Nov. 28, 2012 at 10:00 AM

yes

Quoting DakotaHaley:

Also I think what the original poster meant when she said My children have multiple fathers I think that was just leaving off where her title of the post left off.

Her title said: The doctor just assumed that.... and I think she started her post with what the doctor assumed. I could be wrong though. That is how I took it.


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