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Would you name your child after...

Posted by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 6:25 PM
  • 18 Replies

My step brother and his wife are expecting their first child, a daughter, in a month or less.  They have been very quiet about the name but open with everything else until the baby shower. 

Prior to this shower, they had asked my best friend and her husband to be the child's God parents and they were surprised, as the men are friends but the ladies not so much.  The reasoning was that they like the way their two children behaved and felt they would be good parents for their child.  While she was skeptical, he was honored and so they accepted.

At her shower on Sunday, she announced what they would be naming their daughter, Rayleigh Beth, and proceeded to announce that they were naming it after my friend (God mother to be) Jen's child that was stillborn.  Shocked, my friend smiled and then excused herself and left.  She spent the rest of the day in tears and is still upset over the issue.

I have never experienced the death of a child so I can't totally relate, but I feel it is disturbing, to say the least.  Yesterday she told me that she feels the mother is trying to social climb and that she has told her husband that they will not be God Parents for someone so inconsiderate. She said had they asked, she would have said "no" but would have most likely went through with the God Parent status.

Just curious on your thoughts and what you would do if it were you, or your best friend in this situation?

by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 6:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 6:30 PM

Naming your child after someone's recently deceased baby is wrong on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin! 

by Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 6:31 PM
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I wouldn't have chosen to name the baby after the still born child. I've never lost a child but I can imagine the mother feeling like that was supposed to be the name of get little angel, not a name that was copied by someone else.

Also I think your friends choice to not be the godparent is fine, especially since they are not very close.
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by Silver Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 6:34 PM

We have alot of kids in my family. There are 8 of us, and we all had 27 kids, and now they are of age to be having their kids. My sisters baby, Jason, died at birth. NOBODY named their child Jason....and they won't. That happened back in 1969. So I agree, she's being very insensitive....especially since she's trying to be close to them.

Now, onto another issue.....picking Godparents because she likes the way their children are? WRONG. A Godparents job is not to assume parenting if something should happen to the parents. That is a legal issue that involves contracts and lawyers, wills, etc. A Godparents job is to ensure the child be brought up and taught the teachings of the church that he/she was christened/baptised in.

by Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 6:47 PM

When I was pregnant with my first I really like the name Evan but we had some friends that had had a miscarriage a couple years earlier  and had called the baby Evan, she was about 11 weeks. So while talking about names I told that I really like the name but I know that it was significant to her so would never considerate it unless she was alright with it. She was delighted thought it would be great. We ended using with a different name because of the middle name my husband insisted on but I still love the name.  But you have to at least ask, yeah that's not cool I'd be really upset. I'd step down from Godparent postition since they're not even that close.

by Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 7:05 PM
That is so wrong..Wtf is wrong with them!
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by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 7:26 PM
Wow that is so wrong! The fact that she blindsided her like that at the shower is even worse! Who does that?!? Your poor friend :/
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by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 8:04 PM

How is that "social climbing" FFS?  I'd assume they intended it as an honor and misjudged the situation terribly.  The godparents need to discuss it with the parents to be.

by Liz on Nov. 28, 2012 at 8:12 PM

I think that's very wrong on so many levels.

I don't even understand how anyone can think that's an honor. But I guess people think way differently about things sometimes.

by Julie on Nov. 28, 2012 at 8:17 PM

I have lost children and find this to be very wrong!!

by Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 8:34 PM
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maybe they need to sit down and talk to them. They might think they are honoring her stillborn baby by giving her that name and that the godmother to be would be pleased to hear the news. But i agree with your friend I would be upset. But we dont know what they were thinking when they picked the name so she should just let them know how she feels!

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