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So we met up with ds1's best friend on Sunday.

We met at the library with him and his mom ( who is a good friend of mine), then went to lunch together , then a playground.

He chose to ride with us in my minivan for one ride in between locations. Ds1 rides in a booster, his friend rides in nothing. There is no booster law in my state. Stupidly, kids can ride in a seat with no booster or car seat at age 4. (ETA: the boys involved here are 8, I mention age 4 to give a sense of the car seat " culture - or lack there of- in my state)

Anyway, what he does in his moms car is their business. I offered him the option to sit in our extra lbb. He said no. He is a larger child than ds2, but I was horrified when I turned and saw how unsafe he was due to how the belt hit him.

I was already driving when I saw and I kicked myself for not checking him before we left.

I nicely told him "the seatbelt might fit you fine in your mom's car, but it does not in mine. I want to make sure you are safe, so if you want to drive with us to the park after lunch, you will need to use a booster".

I do not believe that he is safe in his moms car with no booster, but that is her call when he is on her watch.

I am not going to knowingly drive a child in an unsafe manner in my car.

So annoyed at myself that I did not check first!

How do you handle similar situations?


by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:21 AM
Replies (11-20):
Kris_PBG
by Representative on Dec. 7, 2012 at 4:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting RubyQ:

 This is about more than your rules. It's about your financial security. If something had happened and that child got his throat cut by the seat belt, or died, you would be at fault and liable. 

 At least now you know to NEVER let your child ride in his mom's car. If she doesn't care to do the optimal safety things for her son, what makes you think she's going to stop and do them for your son while he's in her care? The absent booster seat could be a good sign of the larger picture regarding details to safety when in her care.






I agree about the financial security.

All my friends know that my ds1 does not ride without a booster and everyone respects that.

Ironically this other mom (who I have been friends with for 10 years) is UBER safe. I dare say helicopter mom. Our state's lack of booster laws gives many the false beliefs they are not important. Thankfully, she would never let him ride without one, as she is very respectful of my wishes.

bigmama423
by Liz on Dec. 7, 2012 at 4:28 PM


Quoting Kris_PBG:

Quoting bigmama423:

I probably wouldn't have taken him with me in the first place. Or at the beginning would of said something like, "oh he needs a booster to ride with me.".




I knew we had an extra lbb, so I knew I could accommodate him when ds1 asked if he could ride with us. I was planning on checking him before I pulled out, but I had an issue with ds2 that totally distracted me. Luckily it was only a 1 minute ride through a large parking lot.

My son begged him to ride with us to the park after lunch. He refused.

Oh well.

Knowing this kid, that will be his first and last drive in our car.

Oddly enough, all of the rest of the kids who do not ride in boosters jump at the chance to ride in one in our car, so I was caught off guard by his refusal (and then ds2 got me further distracted!!)

Makes sense!:)

vboatner
by Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 4:31 PM

I would have told him to beging with that he had to ride in one, or ride with his mother.

Kris_PBG
by Representative on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:09 PM
Quoting vboatner:

I would have told him to beging with that he had to ride in one, or ride with his mother.




It was my son doing the begging - not his friend. :)

His friend now knows future rides in my vehicle WILL be in a booster!
vboatner
by Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:11 PM

Sorry, that was supposed to say to begin with. LOL. And I would have made sure that my child knew the same thing if he did not already.

Quoting Kris_PBG:

Quoting vboatner:

I would have told him to beging with that he had to ride in one, or ride with his mother.




It was my son doing the begging - not his friend. :)

His friend now knows future rides in my vehicle WILL be in a booster!


Kris_PBG
by Representative on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:33 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting vboatner:




Yes - that is typically how it goes. That is I always have an extra booster and I've never had a kid say no.

I just got caught off guard when he said no and since he IS a large 8 year old , I was going to see if he passed the 5 step test before I demanded him in the booster.

Then ds2 got me in a tizzy! Lol!

His friend now knows never again! (Well, never until he passes the 5 step test!!!)
jessi2girls
by Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:40 PM

you should eta that into your post... I assumed they were 4 as well and was going to reply as such, but I caught this before I did..

Age 8, they'd still be in a boaster in my car. unless the child was 4'9" and 100lbs, even though they don't LEGALLY have to be at age 8.. I go by what's safests.. 4'9" is the magic number ;)

Quoting Kris_PBG:

Quoting VintageWife:

My car, my rules. At 4 yrs old, he'd DEFINITELY be in a booster. I've never heard something so unsafe in my life!!!




I should also add, at 4 both of my boys were harnessed.

Ds1 moved into a booster a little past 6.

Both boys are now 8.


vboatner
by Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:46 PM

The way you worded it, I thought that they were 4. 8 is a little different though.

Quoting Kris_PBG:

Quoting vboatner:




Yes - that is typically how it goes. That is I always have an extra booster and I've never had a kid say no.

I just got caught off guard when he said no and since he IS a large 8 year old , I was going to see if he passed the 5 step test before I demanded him in the booster.

Then ds2 got me in a tizzy! Lol!

His friend now knows never again! (Well, never until he passes the 5 step test!!!)


Kris_PBG
by Representative on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting jessi2girls:




I can eta that.

The kiddo is definitely not 4'9", but he is close...

Either way, I learned the hard way that he has NOT passed the 5 point test in my vehicle! :)
Kris_PBG
by Representative on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:21 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting vboatner:




I will go make that clearer now. :)
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