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Not only old people are HANDICAPPED!!

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I'm 22 years old, 23 next month.  I was born with Spinabifida Diastematomyelia, which means that my spine was split in two and with club foot, which is a rotation of the foot.  Luckily everything was discovered when I was younger and I was able to get the best medical attention possible at UCSF Children's Hospital.  I had one spinal surgery and I've had four foot surgeries, the last one two years ago.  I feel very lucky every day of my life that I was able to get help and that everyone did the best they could for me.  You can't even tell I have anything wrong with me, unless I show you.  However, no one but me knows the pain that I experience almost on a daily basis.  Both my back and my foot are very sensitive and it sucks! 

To my next point!  I do have a handicap card and am able to use handicap parking spaces.  I try not to use them unless I'm in really bad pain or if my foot is sprained, which happens a lot.  Anyway, people really seem to hate me because I don't look handicapped!  I'm tired of feeling like I have to prove my disability to everyone!  The other day this older lady literally starting yelling at me telling me I don't look handicapped!  And trust me it was not a compliment!  Then today at school the parking services officer proceeded to tell me how she is tired of young ladies using their grandparents cars to take advantage of the parking and she demanded to see my paperwork.  So I handed it to her and she just looked me up and down expecting me to show her my scars or something...WTF lady I know you're doing your job, but don't be so freaking rude!  These are only two examples of the many that I have, not to mention the dirty looks that I always get.


banging head into wall


**Thanks everyone for your support and for understanding me!  :)

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:48 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:20 PM

thank you

Quoting sjump25:

Oh I like this!  I have probably been guilty of assuming someone was using someone elses disabilty card though I would NEVER call someone out on it.  Thank you for posting this.  I will be more aware from now on that you don't have to LOOK handicap to actually have a handicap.  I'm sorry people make you feel bad.

Quoting RubyQ:

Thanks for reminding us! A very good service post! 

 Your post shows how we often rely too much on stereotypes to arrive at conclusions

 No you shouldn't have to explain yourself to everyone. But, unfortunately, people are not going to stop being so shortsighted, another debilitating disease, although people are in no hurry to find a cure for it. Good thing they don't hand out placards for THAT--you'd have way too much competition for handicapped parking spaces!

 That said, "when life hands you lemons", squeeze them in their eyes! No---Just kidding! I saw that on another post and still crack up over it, haahahaaa....

 Anyway, you have been handed a unique opportunity to help other handicapped people, the ones I mentioned before, with the affliction of shortsightedness.With a sweet smile, you can patiently let them rattle on, only too eager to show you their disability. Then, with a sweet smile, you can gently say, 

 --Yes, wouldn't I be SO LUCKY if my disability forced me to be in a wheelchair so I could be reassuring to everyone ELSE!

--I understand your concern, however, most 'disabilites' people have are ones not everyone can immediately see. (Wink, wink)

--Oh! Finally someone who cares. Let me tell you aaaaalllll about my spina bifida and clubfoot! It all started when....." (careful with the older folks, though--they enjoy discussing medical issues, haahaha...)

--I'm so grateful my disease hasn't affected my ability to relate to people. You have my sympathies concerning yours.


by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:21 PM
I love this post!!!
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by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:22 PM

thank you

Quoting Texascandee:

I know there are people that do abuse it and until I got in the position I'm in, I had the same thoughts as everyone else.  While I don't have a placard, I do sympathize with those that do.  There have been a few people that have admitted they use it to run in the store to pick up an item or two. 

I don't think you should have to explain anything to of luck to you

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Exactly, thank you! :)

Quoting Thelmama:

Great post. Some disabilities are not visible and they come in all shapes, sizes and ages.

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:24 PM

YAY!  :)

Quoting DayDreamer1201:

I love this post!!!

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:33 PM
1 mom liked this

My mother is 48 years old and looks relatively healthy. No one would know to look at her that she has debilitating RA. She tries to do as much as she can without trying to look like she's "faking" a disability. I feel bad for her. I'm only hoping that my RA doesn't get as bad as her when I'm her age. Sometimes I move slow "for a person my age" (I'm 24). Again, you wouldn't know it to look at me but when I have a flare, I barely can get out of bed.

I'm right there with you OP and I wouldn't judge you if I saw you using a placard. :)

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:36 PM

I have had Fibromyalgia for almost 16 years.  I haven't even asked for a placard yet, but I know that one day, I will have no choice.  It doesn't help that it is one of the 'invisible' illnesses, so I have no scars to share, even if I wanted to. Although I am thinking it might be time to get a note from my Dr for the University. 

I don't WANT to be treated differently, but I AM different, I just don't LOOK different.  I am not like the other students, I am twice their age, even if I don't look it.  I also look younger than I am.  So, to other people, I look less than 30 and healthy, but I am almost 40, and I am not.  My professors don't see it either.  If I get the note, I won't have to keep attempting to explain it. 

by Liz on Dec. 7, 2012 at 7:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm 28 and I have a handicap placard too. I get looks too, no one has ever said a word to me though.

I do walk around looking like I'm about to bite someones head off, so I'm sure people think twice. ;)

Don't let people's ignorance get to you. It's not worth your time!! :)

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:19 AM

I hear you, as someone who has had hip/knee relacements/ revisions, the looks, the stares, the confrontations I've had are amazing.  I've had the cops called and my car blocked in until they got there.  I carry the cards for airport security with me, but the last cop said anyone could get those and challenged me.  I got so mad I offered to drop trou and show him the scars (not a pretty sight), and he finally relented.  It's bad out there for those who don't appear handicapped, really.  The only way you'd know I was handicapped is by the way I have to walk.  The RA  I have makes walking and holding onto things difficult, and when it flares... the pain of moving goes to a whole new level of pain.  Trying to explain you are really sick to someone who is convinced you're faking is like trying to teach a pig to dance... it's a waste of time and annoys the pig.

by Amanda on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:36 AM


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