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How to wean 3 and 5 year old from co-sleeping, have a new baby. - PIOG

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I have an almost 5 (dd) year old, 3 (ds) year old and an almost 4 (dd) month old and I need to "train" hte older kids to sleep on their own (they share a king). At the moment I lay with them till they fall asleep then creep out of the bed and into the other room with the baby (my poor husband sleeps in "our" bed on his own). They both will at one point in the night wake and come crawl in bed with me, but its not safe for the baby, good for my sleep, etc. and I hate then having to get up with the baby and get in the other bed, sometimes back and forth several times in the night. I don't like the idea of them chasing me, like mommy's trying to get away from them, and I really need the sleep. Has anyone had experience with this?

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:49 AM
Replies (31-40):
micheledo
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 6:53 PM
1 mom liked this
Studies have shown that a sober (no medication, drugs, or alcohol) breastfeeding (if you are bottlefeeding it is not as safe) mother is actually very aware of her child while sleeping. In that sitiation, co sleeping is actually very safe and can reduce sids.



Quoting AleaKat:

You must be an awfully light sleeper then. Glad nothing ever happened.

Also I have no idea what being sober has to do with tossing in your sleep. I toss and turn several times in the night.... Stone cold sober.... As you say.
Quoting paganbaby:

No, no chance of me rolling over on them. I was always stone sober whenever I co-slept. And for pillows, I had one and the kids slept pillowed on my arm, facing me. No fluffy blankets and a firm mattress completed our bed.

And again, if they stopped breathing in their crib, like the 4 other babies I knew, how would I be able to protect them?

Quoting AleaKat:

You have just as much of a chance of rolling over and smothering your child plus all the pillows and blanket and the fact that adult mattresses are too soft for babies.

It might make you feel better but that doesn't make it safer.




Quoting paganbaby:

I completely disagree. My babies slept warm and safe next to mama from day one. Reason number one, we both got more sleep that way and number two, all the babies I've know irl to die of SIDS, slept in cribs.

Sleeping with me always felt safer. The few times they were too still, I instantly woke up and got them breathing again.

Quoting AleaKat:

Completely agree.


My kids slept on their own from day one.










Quoting zeesmuse:

You should have never started co-sleeping in the first place. Sorry. I'm not an advocate of it. At all.


that said, explain to them they are ready for their own beds. You're going to have some sleepless nights, but every time they get in YOUR bed, pick them up and take them back. Eventually, they'll stay.




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jb81supergirl
by Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 11:02 PM
1 mom liked this

I have thourghly researched co-sleeping with my husband, it reduces SIDS and stimulates growth, AND three for three kids I got more sleep through out the baby phase then ANY of my peers, its very common among many cultures. Just because puritanical societies that believe in seperation, distance and in shaming normal bodily functions believe that cosleeping is a problem doesn't mean that it really is, going with the flow we all get more sleep.

Quoting micheledo:

Studies have shown that a sober (no medication, drugs, or alcohol) breastfeeding (if you are bottlefeeding it is not as safe) mother is actually very aware of her child while sleeping. In that sitiation, co sleeping is actually very safe and can reduce sids.



Quoting AleaKat:

You must be an awfully light sleeper then. Glad nothing ever happened.

Also I have no idea what being sober has to do with tossing in your sleep. I toss and turn several times in the night.... Stone cold sober.... As you say.
Quoting paganbaby:

No, no chance of me rolling over on them. I was always stone sober whenever I co-slept. And for pillows, I had one and the kids slept pillowed on my arm, facing me. No fluffy blankets and a firm mattress completed our bed.

And again, if they stopped breathing in their crib, like the 4 other babies I knew, how would I be able to protect them?

Quoting AleaKat:

You have just as much of a chance of rolling over and smothering your child plus all the pillows and blanket and the fact that adult mattresses are too soft for babies.

It might make you feel better but that doesn't make it safer.




Quoting paganbaby:

I completely disagree. My babies slept warm and safe next to mama from day one. Reason number one, we both got more sleep that way and number two, all the babies I've know irl to die of SIDS, slept in cribs.

Sleeping with me always felt safer. The few times they were too still, I instantly woke up and got them breathing again.

Quoting AleaKat:

Completely agree.


My kids slept on their own from day one.










Quoting zeesmuse:

You should have never started co-sleeping in the first place. Sorry. I'm not an advocate of it. At all.


that said, explain to them they are ready for their own beds. You're going to have some sleepless nights, but every time they get in YOUR bed, pick them up and take them back. Eventually, they'll stay.





JuLiAnSmOm03
by Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 11:26 PM
My son is 4 and he finally sleeps in his bed but I have his toddler bed at the foot of my bed I just read him a story and he stays in his bed all night but since I had my new baby who is 2 months he will ask to sleep with us but I just tell him he is a boy and everyone has to sleep in their own bed and it works good luck
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
katiew2012
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 11:35 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, seeing how he slept in his mother's room until he ran into some legal trouble and was removed to a group home... he has attachment issues and still at 20, nearly 21, has trouble being alone or dealing with his emotions, including self-soothing....

Quoting paganbaby:

So what's wrong with that? As long as everyone's getting the sleep they need, I don't see the issue.

Quoting katiew2012:

I have to say this does not necessarily work. My cousin slept in his mom's room, on her floor, until he was 13. She kicked him out of her bed when he was 4, but let him sleep on the floor. She then made him sleep in his own bed when he was 6, but he'd get up in the middle of the night and sleep on her floor.

Quoting themomof3boys:

Put a mattress on the floor by the bed where you are sleeping and tell them that is where they have to sleep. It works, it takes some time but it does work and eventually move the mattress further from the bed till it is in their room.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie, proud wife of a railroader, and a future mother-to-be! 

I only reply if I've been quoted, or I happen to look and see a response. So, if you want to discuss with me, please quote me. :) Thank-you and good day!


AnayaFatima
by Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 11:36 PM

Never let two children sleep alone ia room. You don't know what goes on in their minds! I've heard of kids doing durty stuff to each other when they are alone so I would never take the risk. Let your husband sleep with them for a while.

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:04 AM

Then it sounds like sleeping on the floor in his moms room is the least of his issues.

Typical children grow and change in time when they feel their needs being met. It doesn't sound like that was the case with him.

Quoting katiew2012:

Well, seeing how he slept in his mother's room until he ran into some legal trouble and was removed to a group home... he has attachment issues and still at 20, nearly 21, has trouble being alone or dealing with his emotions, including self-soothing....

Quoting paganbaby:

So what's wrong with that? As long as everyone's getting the sleep they need, I don't see the issue.

Quoting katiew2012:

I have to say this does not necessarily work. My cousin slept in his mom's room, on her floor, until he was 13. She kicked him out of her bed when he was 4, but let him sleep on the floor. She then made him sleep in his own bed when he was 6, but he'd get up in the middle of the night and sleep on her floor.

Quoting themomof3boys:

Put a mattress on the floor by the bed where you are sleeping and tell them that is where they have to sleep. It works, it takes some time but it does work and eventually move the mattress further from the bed till it is in their room.





Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:06 AM

*High five* Mama!

You tell it! LOL

Quoting jb81supergirl:

I have thourghly researched co-sleeping with my husband, it reduces SIDS and stimulates growth, AND three for three kids I got more sleep through out the baby phase then ANY of my peers, its very common among many cultures. Just because puritanical societies that believe in seperation, distance and in shaming normal bodily functions believe that cosleeping is a problem doesn't mean that it really is, going with the flow we all get more sleep.

Quoting micheledo:

Studies have shown that a sober (no medication, drugs, or alcohol) breastfeeding (if you are bottlefeeding it is not as safe) mother is actually very aware of her child while sleeping. In that sitiation, co sleeping is actually very safe and can reduce sids.



Quoting AleaKat:

You must be an awfully light sleeper then. Glad nothing ever happened.

Also I have no idea what being sober has to do with tossing in your sleep. I toss and turn several times in the night.... Stone cold sober.... As you say.
Quoting paganbaby:

No, no chance of me rolling over on them. I was always stone sober whenever I co-slept. And for pillows, I had one and the kids slept pillowed on my arm, facing me. No fluffy blankets and a firm mattress completed our bed.

And again, if they stopped breathing in their crib, like the 4 other babies I knew, how would I be able to protect them?

Quoting AleaKat:

You have just as much of a chance of rolling over and smothering your child plus all the pillows and blanket and the fact that adult mattresses are too soft for babies.

It might make you feel better but that doesn't make it safer.




Quoting paganbaby:

I completely disagree. My babies slept warm and safe next to mama from day one. Reason number one, we both got more sleep that way and number two, all the babies I've know irl to die of SIDS, slept in cribs.

Sleeping with me always felt safer. The few times they were too still, I instantly woke up and got them breathing again.

Quoting AleaKat:

Completely agree.


My kids slept on their own from day one.










Quoting zeesmuse:

You should have never started co-sleeping in the first place. Sorry. I'm not an advocate of it. At all.


that said, explain to them they are ready for their own beds. You're going to have some sleepless nights, but every time they get in YOUR bed, pick them up and take them back. Eventually, they'll stay.






Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

katiew2012
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:10 AM

Well, knowing my family, and the exact issues... I think you are wrong.

He was never taught to sleep in his own bed. Still doesn't. He'd rather sleep on the living room floor than in his own room. He was never taught to soothe himself to sleep.

I am convinced this played a role, among other things.

But I'm done arguing with you. I was simply giving the view of the experiences I have had.

Quoting paganbaby:

Then it sounds like sleeping on the floor in his moms room is the least of his issues.

Typical children grow and change in time when they feel their needs being met. It doesn't sound like that was the case with him.

Quoting katiew2012:

Well, seeing how he slept in his mother's room until he ran into some legal trouble and was removed to a group home... he has attachment issues and still at 20, nearly 21, has trouble being alone or dealing with his emotions, including self-soothing....

Quoting paganbaby:

So what's wrong with that? As long as everyone's getting the sleep they need, I don't see the issue.

Quoting katiew2012:

I have to say this does not necessarily work. My cousin slept in his mom's room, on her floor, until he was 13. She kicked him out of her bed when he was 4, but let him sleep on the floor. She then made him sleep in his own bed when he was 6, but he'd get up in the middle of the night and sleep on her floor.

Quoting themomof3boys:

Put a mattress on the floor by the bed where you are sleeping and tell them that is where they have to sleep. It works, it takes some time but it does work and eventually move the mattress further from the bed till it is in their room.






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie, proud wife of a railroader, and a future mother-to-be! 

I only reply if I've been quoted, or I happen to look and see a response. So, if you want to discuss with me, please quote me. :) Thank-you and good day!


paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:17 AM

Only when my babies are in bed with me. Being a mother made me intensly aware of where my baby was when we shared sleep. I assume it's the same for other moms too. But when they're not in bed with me I sleep like the dead,lol.

And when you're under the influence of anything, it can dimmish your awarness of the baby.

Co-sleeping is very safe as long as you do it right.

Quoting AleaKat:

You must be an awfully light sleeper then. Glad nothing ever happened.
Also I have no idea what being sober has to do with tossing in your sleep. I toss and turn several times in the night.... Stone cold sober.... As you say.
Quoting paganbaby:

No, no chance of me rolling over on them. I was always stone sober whenever I co-slept. And for pillows, I had one and the kids slept pillowed on my arm, facing me. No fluffy blankets and a firm mattress completed our bed.

And again, if they stopped breathing in their crib, like the 4 other babies I knew, how would I be able to protect them?

Quoting AleaKat:

You have just as much of a chance of rolling over and smothering your child plus all the pillows and blanket and the fact that adult mattresses are too soft for babies.

It might make you feel better but that doesn't make it safer.




Quoting paganbaby:

I completely disagree. My babies slept warm and safe next to mama from day one. Reason number one, we both got more sleep that way and number two, all the babies I've know irl to die of SIDS, slept in cribs.

Sleeping with me always felt safer. The few times they were too still, I instantly woke up and got them breathing again.

Quoting AleaKat:

Completely agree.


My kids slept on their own from day one.








Quoting zeesmuse:

You should have never started co-sleeping in the first place. Sorry. I'm not an advocate of it. At all.


that said, explain to them they are ready for their own beds. You're going to have some sleepless nights, but every time they get in YOUR bed, pick them up and take them back. Eventually, they'll stay.




Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:22 AM

He was removed from his home, put into a group home and you still insist that sleeping on the floor is his main issue?

Alrighty then...

Quoting katiew2012:

Well, knowing my family, and the exact issues... I think you are wrong.

He was never taught to sleep in his own bed. Still doesn't. He'd rather sleep on the living room floor than in his own room. He was never taught to soothe himself to sleep.

I am convinced this played a role, among other things.

But I'm done arguing with you. I was simply giving the view of the experiences I have had.

Quoting paganbaby:

Then it sounds like sleeping on the floor in his moms room is the least of his issues.

Typical children grow and change in time when they feel their needs being met. It doesn't sound like that was the case with him.

Quoting katiew2012:

Well, seeing how he slept in his mother's room until he ran into some legal trouble and was removed to a group home... he has attachment issues and still at 20, nearly 21, has trouble being alone or dealing with his emotions, including self-soothing....

Quoting paganbaby:

So what's wrong with that? As long as everyone's getting the sleep they need, I don't see the issue.

Quoting katiew2012:

I have to say this does not necessarily work. My cousin slept in his mom's room, on her floor, until he was 13. She kicked him out of her bed when he was 4, but let him sleep on the floor. She then made him sleep in his own bed when he was 6, but he'd get up in the middle of the night and sleep on her floor.

Quoting themomof3boys:

Put a mattress on the floor by the bed where you are sleeping and tell them that is where they have to sleep. It works, it takes some time but it does work and eventually move the mattress further from the bed till it is in their room.







Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

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