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Ready to move on...but can't seem to do it!

Posted by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 5:07 PM
  • 8 Replies

I have been with my current BF for 4 years on and off. We have def had a rocky relationship and I have been pushed to my limits with the things he does over the last years. To give you a little history, he cheated ALOT in the first year, which i didn'd find out abot until much later after it happened, left me for one of the girls he cheated on me with while I was 6 months pregnant with HIS SON, belittled me, nearly forced me to cut off all of my friends and family and secludes me from the world it seems. I don't feel like I even know who i am anymore. Needless to say I have no trust in him anymore so I go through his phone about once every 6 months to make sure I'm not being played for a fool again. We fight about this constantly. he made me deactive my facebook but refuses to deactivate his. I believe he just doesn't want me to see what he is doing on there. His family lately has been very rude to me beleiving I don't treat him right and they constantly tell him that they feel sorry for him because he has to live with me as the mother of his child. They have planned holiday events for Xmas that don't include me but do iclude my BF and our son, so it looks like I am going to be spending the Holidays alone.

I am ready to leave and move on with my life but I can't seem to do it. I have no friends or family to support me because I cut them ooff and they are so tired of us breaking up and getting back together they don't really wanna deal with me either. I have been going to counseling because I have PTSD from the many things he has put me through. Any advice from someone who has been through a similar sitiuation would be soo appreciated!

and just so you all know, I am a successful person, I am a school nurse and am going to college to get my masters in nursing. I have plenty to do to keep me busy. i don't know what the appeal is with him that i keep going back!!

by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 5:07 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Texascandee
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 9:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry you're going through this.  I've been there and it took me 3 years off and on to finally make up my mind that I was truely done with him.  My family pretty much gave up on me because I went back so many times but there comes a point when you open your eyes and you realize it's time to go and you go. 

I realize you don't have family and friends for support but this is something you may have to do on your own until they see that you are serious about leaving him.  Is there some kind of shelter where you live that can help you over the rough time?

You know the verbal words and cutting you off from family and friends is the first signs of an abuser......has he ever hit you?  If not, don't let it get to that point, get out of it.  I know it's scary but once you make up your mind you want to leave, then do it.

You can always find a support group on here or if you just want someone to talk to you can pm me.......good luck

Kris_PBG
by Representative on Dec. 14, 2012 at 2:31 AM
Good for you for getting into counseling!

You deserve so much better than this!

Can you reach out to start rebuilding relationships so you can have friends and support again?
amonkeymom
by Amy on Dec. 14, 2012 at 2:14 PM

If you're thinking of leaving for good, do it!  You deserve better than this, and your son should not have to grow up thinking that this is ok. (((hug)))

Quoting linzrenae:

I have been with my current BF for 4 years on and off. We have def had a rocky relationship and I have been pushed to my limits with the things he does over the last years. To give you a little history, he cheated ALOT in the first year, which i didn'd find out abot until much later after it happened, left me for one of the girls he cheated on me with while I was 6 months pregnant with HIS SON, belittled me, nearly forced me to cut off all of my friends and family and secludes me from the world it seems. I don't feel like I even know who i am anymore. Needless to say I have no trust in him anymore so I go through his phone about once every 6 months to make sure I'm not being played for a fool again. We fight about this constantly. he made me deactive my facebook but refuses to deactivate his. I believe he just doesn't want me to see what he is doing on there. His family lately has been very rude to me beleiving I don't treat him right and they constantly tell him that they feel sorry for him because he has to live with me as the mother of his child. They have planned holiday events for Xmas that don't include me but do iclude my BF and our son, so it looks like I am going to be spending the Holidays alone.

I am ready to leave and move on with my life but I can't seem to do it. I have no friends or family to support me because I cut them ooff and they are so tired of us breaking up and getting back together they don't really wanna deal with me either. I have been going to counseling because I have PTSD from the many things he has put me through. Any advice from someone who has been through a similar sitiuation would be soo appreciated!

and just so you all know, I am a successful person, I am a school nurse and am going to college to get my masters in nursing. I have plenty to do to keep me busy. i don't know what the appeal is with him that i keep going back!!


hemlockprimrose
by Member on Dec. 14, 2012 at 2:27 PM
1 mom liked this

YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!! Sounds like he is very controlling!!! First mistake you made the first time he cheated taking him back... I have been cheated on also .. and once a cheater always a cheater.. I have been controlled by my EX.. and sorry I am my own person.. and sorry nobody is going to make me cut off all ties to family and friends... You are a successful woman you can do better for your self and your son.. Leave him for good!!! 

stillkim
by Bronze Member on Dec. 14, 2012 at 2:35 PM

Just the title of your post grabbed me. I can relate to the title.  I will read your story in a bit but know that you can, whatever it is you can. 

mom2priceboys
by Julie on Dec. 14, 2012 at 9:16 PM

So why not move into your own place and not with friends or family - you are an employed, independant woman with a child - take care of yourself - trust me, you will appreciate yourself so much more if you do it this way!!

hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Dec. 14, 2012 at 10:02 PM

you can do it and it's scary but you can do it.  good luck

Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Dec. 15, 2012 at 12:39 AM

*hugs*  Good Luck!

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