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Is she taking a stab at me for being a single working mother?

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:01 AM
  • 41 Replies

Or am I being sensitive?  Here is the message

Hi. I was going through A------'s phone and I seen messages between her and R--- and I just want you to know that, the reason my daughter is not allowed over your house is because of what happen, im not saying it couldn't happen here but we are always home. if im not here my husband is here if he's not I am. There's always supervision here. I just don't want my daughter at someone's house with out the proper supervision. I know you work and its just you, and that's what im saying. I know my daughter is no angel but I have heard conversations regarding R-----, and I would really keep an eye on her. I don't know if what I've heard is true but I just thought I should let you know. I know as a mom I would want to know anything my daughter was doing that was inappropriate.

The incident she was talking about what when her dd was staying the night at my house.  It was about 11 at night and I was in bed.  I heard this crash in my house so I went to investigate.  I heard a boys voice so I went to check on the girls.  Their door was locked and I banged on the door for them to open it.  When I went in, the girls (my 2 girls and A) were sitting on their beds and I asked who that was and they denied knowing what I was meaning.  So I looked around the room and found a boy under their bed.  I freaked out.  Apparently this boy had run away from home and snuck in the bathroom window upstairs.  Right away I tried to call this boys mother but he ran out the door.  I told A that I was calling her mother and she beat me to it. When her mother arrived I talked to her mother to explain what happened and we grounded the girls from each other and some other punishments for this incident.

1st.  last weekend they were begging for this girl to come over and A was getting angry that I wasn't letting her come over.  I don't trust her. 

2nd.  My girls do not go anywhere.  They don't go to friends houses to stay the night or even just to hang out.  If they even go outside it's in the back yard.

3rd.  during the summer I did allow them to go to the park that is around the corner but after hearing some things that these girls were planning I put a stop to it.

4th.  I lost my job last month so I am not working at this moment and always home

5th.  When I was working, I got off at 4pm and the girls got home from school at 4:45 (yes it is quite late because of the long bus ride home) So they were never home alone.

6th.  on the weekends my sister would stay a majority of the day with them and no friends were allowed here even if my sister was here.

So what do you ladies think?  Am I being overly sensitive or is she taking a jab at me for working and being single?

I am a little on the defensive side I know that but I am just curious what others think.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by JoAnna on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:08 AM

I wrote her back that I don't work anymore and I was sleeping when that incident happened

and she just wrote back that 11pm was kind of early seeings how I have someone elses child in my supervision

by Jennifer on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:11 AM
5 moms liked this

I would just let it go at this point.  Teenagers are going to try and push the limits, no matter who's house they are in.  She is upset that her daughter isn't behaving like she would want and you are an easy target to blame.  It is not unreasonable for you to be in bed at 11.  She will get over it.

by Silver Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:28 AM

I think you're being sensitive and defensive. If the tables were turned, you'd feel the same.

by Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:32 AM
3 moms liked this

I think that you may be a little sensitive, but that the other mother may think she's above all of it and her kid cannot do any wrong.  They are teenagers and they will try to push boundaries regardless of whose house they are in.  Because it happened at your house, it's easy for her to point fingers and say it's your fault and cast aspersions on you and your daughters...what she fails to see is that it could've happened at her house as well and very well could be happening now but she has blinders on when it comes to her teenage daughter.

by JoAnna on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:10 AM

thanks.  I was thinking maybe I am a bit sensitive and I don't do drama,

also this incident happened back in august and she is just now bringing up

by Silver Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:25 AM
1 mom liked this

If it happened that many months ago and she's just bringing it up now, she's being a jerk. She's probably not worth your stress or energy.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:40 AM
1 mom liked this

 As a mom, I have a 13 year old boy, You are doing what every parent should be doing. I see no wrong here. Keep up the good work. We need to know who are children are hanging out with and were they will be and if there is going too be another parent. NO PARENTS NO HANG OUT!!! My parents growing up knew were we were and who houses we were at for the weekend, Plus they had the phone numbers. 

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Look, these things can happen to anyone. But from the other mom's perspective, it happened under your watch, so it's easier for her to put the blame on you and yours than to acknowledge that her child is up to no good. It's totally normal for a mom to be leary of others as is. She is just doing what she thinks is safest for her child. If the girl is trouble, then you don't want her around anyway, right? Let the other mom figure it out on her own.

by Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:18 PM
2 moms liked this
If i am getting it right, i think she's putting all the blame on your daughter and you. That could have just as easily happened at her house. I think if she is going to continue bringing it up that maybe your daughter should find a new friend. :/
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by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:19 PM
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She's not taking a jab at your for being a single working mother. She's taking a jab because the girls pulled one over on you.

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