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I am a loss as to what to do......

Posted by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:27 PM
  • 16 Replies

First off, I am in SHOCK.  Today I found out not only has my dd (3rd grader) not been turning in her homework but she has been lying to me and the teacher probably for weeks. She lies and says she stuided when she didn't or says she left her study guide at school to me, but to her teacher says she left it at home to her teacher and just hides everything in her desk.  She has not been turning in work.  She also CHEATED today.......I almost cried!  Her teacher was shocked too because Hannah is usually so good at doing what she should.  We are both going to make  a team effort to crack down on her behavior.  I have no idea what started this. The teacher said her report card is going to go way down this time.  I said that is fine and be as firm with her as you have too. My heart hurts.  My child is cheating and lying and we have no idea why. We have had some stress at home, but nothing that really involves her or that she knows about.  She denies being bullied.  I have no idea how to punish her. I have taken away all tv, all compute and wii etc etc.  Should I do anything else? Make her work on school work? What? I have never had a child do this.  I am so sad she'd do such. We talked to her tonight. I told her we are disappointed in your behavior. You are a good girl but you have made some very bad choices.


HELP HELP HELP.  She has such a sweet attitude, heart and spirit so for her to do such comes out of left field.  Thanks in advance. 


by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Thelmama
by Thelma on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:28 PM

Oh and her teacher says she is very smart. It isn't about ability, but about her wanting to do the fun things they do when work is completed.

stillkim
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:37 PM

I'd have her make up the work she hasn't turned in. Have hereearn her things back and basically just be on top of her. It doesn't sound like it's because she wants to do fun things if she's lying to you and and not dong her work at  home.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know it's hard.  I think you are doing the right things!

ilovemyboys84
by Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:39 PM
2 moms liked this

i would take away her toys/favorite things until all the work she missed is done...then she has to earn them back due to lying. start a homework book for you and her teacher...her teacher will sign it when class is done and u sign it after u check her hw. also check her backpack after school each day

Thelmama
by Thelma on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:47 PM

I have the homework sheet ready to go for when school starts back. Tomorrow is a half day.  She can't give a reason as to why she is doing this. Her teacher said she thought, especially today it was to get through so they could make Christmas crafts.  I am sure there is more to it.  Thanks y'all.  I have been checking her backpack, but she had been hiding it in her desk until her teacher made her bring everything home, not knowing it had hidden papers. I found them among some other things.  The teacher doesn't check their desks daily as it is their job.  But she said, she will sign the homework thing. We discussed that today.  I had her do most of it tonight and part of it was done today in class. I will double check and make sure she has it done and what isn't she will do on break. 

I know she knows better.  She has been taught better. Her teacher told her that today too. I met with the teacher and we talked to Hannah together. 

I know she hates math (for no real reason)..it is mostly math she does this on. She is good at math. she is very bright. Thanks again. We will get her back on track.

bigmama423
by Liz on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:56 PM
1 mom liked this
I think this sounds good.
Good luck!


Quoting ilovemyboys84:

i would take away her toys/favorite things until all the work she missed is done...then she has to earn them back due to lying. start a homework book for you and her teacher...her teacher will sign it when class is done and u sign it after u check her hw. also check her backpack after school each day

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Thelmama
by Thelma on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:06 PM

Thank you. Her teacher is going to check her desk too since she wasn't even bringing it home...she was stuffing it and hiding it in her desk!!

grams4043
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:27 PM
maybe reading some scriptures from the bible about not being honest can help
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ladi_zaki
by New Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:53 PM
First off, don't worry she is not the only child that has or will do this. At the same time if u are telling the teacher to be firm with her, then uou yourself have to do the same. That means take something away that she truly enjoys, and u can't give in and give it back to her. U have to stand your ground and let her know that her behavior is unacceptable. If you give on to her she will continue to behave in that negative way because she will know that you will be upset but still give in to her. Yes I have children so I know because I am dealing with that with my ninth grade daughter
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MissMal1
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:05 AM
2 moms liked this

You may have to sit and help her or do an activity or your own while she does her school work. Be there if she needs help with anything and check her work over for her when she is done. Offer to "proof read" it for her. Get the teacher's email, that way you can send her an email saying "incoming math assignment completed" and it will be easy for her to say "recieved" and possibly attatch a mark she got on it.

Use this system to make her work to get her privileges back. Once it's going well, you can loosen up the reins a little bit and give her a chance to do it herself. If she slacks off again, she loses her stuff again. Then you start the process once more.

Maybe she is looking for attention, or there's another problem that's not obvious to you.

sabrtooth1
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:31 AM
1 mom liked this

Many children with learning disorders like ADD, Executive Dysfunction, Processing Disorders, etc, have trouble with home work--trouble remembering to bring it home, trouble doing it, trouble getting it back to school.  Many intelligent kids with learning disorders like this mange to scrape along for a while untill there are too many demands for them to focus on, and instead of doing at least one thing, it ALL goes out the window.  Before you punish her for doing something she may not be able to control, get her a COMPLETE LD and emotional disorder workup.  Make SURE she is tested for processing disorders also, including NVLD & CAPD.

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