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tired of being mommy!

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 4:38 AM
  • 17 Replies

I have a daughter from a previous relationship.  Her father never had a desire to meet her and she has only known my apouse as her father.  She is very loving towards him, yet he isn't her. 

Recentley, me and my spouse had a baby boy together.  He is very affectionate towards him. 

I am not sure if the affection comes from the baby boy being his own or if he just plain doesn't like my daughter.  It disturbs me. 

Either way, I am tired of being in the middle of my spouse and daughter.  I am constantly sticking up for her (he uses a nasty tone, nags at her for senseless things).  He seems to pick at her.  Yet, if baby cries.. his whole tone is different, he is sweet and caring.  I am not sure as to why he is that way with the baby and not my daughter.  He says there is no difference, but I notice it and it bothers me.  I am always in the middle. 

I don't want my children to not have a father at all, but I don't think it is healthy for my daughter to have to take a back seat to her brother with him.  She is just as important and I think I give her more attention because of the situation.

I need advice.  Do I leave the father so that they have a more equal relationshipwith my kids, try to raise them with equal love?  Or do I stay and end up with 2 spoiled brats because I am trying to make up for shortcomings? 

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 4:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
piercea222
by New Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:22 AM
2 moms liked this

I am married & have 2 kids from a previous relationship...my husband has 1 child from a previous relationship and we have 1 child together. My husband has never treated my kids differently from his biological kids. Your daughter deserves the same love & compassion that your husband gives your other child. Think about what is best for your children and go from there

mattiehatter
by Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:18 AM
4 moms liked this

Call him on it and make it very clear that it is not acceptable.

bigmama423
by Liz on Jan. 1, 2013 at 3:39 PM
1 mom liked this
I would try to be calm and talk to him, be honest with him. From there maybe you'll know where to go. Do what's best for you and your babies. Good luck, I hope you guys work it out!
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Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:00 PM
1 mom liked this

I wish I could give you advice on this, but I can't.  My husband is my girls' daddy, and he treats my son the best he can, which is amazing, especially considering how my son was conceived.  So, if anything, I would say that you need to talk with him, bring up any insecurities that you have in regards to his and your daughter's relationship and take it from there.  Communication is always key in any relationship.  Good Luck to you.

hemlockprimrose
by Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:36 PM
2 moms liked this


 MY kids come before any man!!! that is NOT right that he treats your daughter the way he does.. he knew when he got involved with you it was a " package deal" he should treat her as he treats his son.. you daughter will start noticing that he treats your son better than he treats her.. NOT FAIR TO HER AT ALL.. sorry like you said you are in the middle.. and that is not fair to you.. not a good situation at all... I would be telling him treat her equal or I am out the door... How old is your daughter ??? 

Kellyjude1
by Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:56 PM
1 mom liked this

  You should talk to him about this and let him know how serious you really are if you can tell he is treating one child over the other, then the possibility is your daughter can too.  I cannot ever imagine what you must be going through.  I hope that he will understand and respect your feelings to hopefully change. He needs to realize how much this hurts you and your daughter.  

UnFFnStoppable4
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:59 PM
1 mom liked this
My ex was wonderful with my daughter, but the moment our son was born he did a 180 on her. He also became abusive towards me. Stand up for her and let him know it's not ok to treat her that way.
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Proud2bamomma
by New Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:29 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe he doesn't even realize he treats her different? How old is your daughter? Does she seem to notice it, or is it you who notices? I'd talk to him, let him know how you feel, don't badger him, or make accusations, just tel him its how you see it, he may not notice honestly. Good luck in whatever you choose to do!

Kris_PBG
by Representative on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:50 PM
I agree.



Quoting hemlockprimrose:


 MY kids come before any man!!! that is NOT right that he treats your daughter the way he does.. he knew when he got involved with you it was a " package deal" he should treat her as he treats his son.. you daughter will start noticing that he treats your son better than he treats her.. NOT FAIR TO HER AT ALL.. sorry like you said you are in the middle.. and that is not fair to you.. not a good situation at all... I would be telling him treat her equal or I am out the door... How old is your daughter ??? 


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hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:00 PM
1 mom liked this

I would call him on it.  it could be just because he is a baby though

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