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Is being Bi-polar enough reason to have your kids taken away? piog

Posted by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:14 AM
  • 27 Replies

That's what my poor Sil is saying :-( Here's the story.

My sil was married to this guy. She got pregnant soon after they married. They've always had a rocky relationship but things really went down hill when he was discharged from the Navy. When their daughter was 18 months old she got pregnant again. He had enough and left her. She moved in with her parents and got on Welfare.

After they separated the state went after him for child support. Trying to be nice, my Sil lied and said he visited their DD several times a week so his payments would be lowered. He actually didn't see her for almost 9 months, only stopping by to say hi when the new baby was born. He came to the hospital but didn't sign her birth certificate.

Even though they were separated, he still talked about getting back together. Then 3 days ago she was served with court orders. He was filing for divorce and seeking sole custody of their 2yo. Not the baby though.

Now here's the bad part. She's Bi-polar and not taking any meds. And during the last month she texted him that life wasn't worth living without him, she can't handle being a mom and could he take the girls for a week so she can get a break. That coupled with him "seeing" his daughter several times a week, I'm not sure who the judge will favor :-/

Any advice?

by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:23 AM
1 mom liked this
Ohhhh boy. A mental illness that is not being treated is grounds for proving unfit... Especially since she made a text to him. I assume she has no insurance. Get her to the Medicaid and DHS office and see if she qualifies. She could lose both children if she doesn't show she is taking care of herself. He could very well win if can't prove she is attempting to control her MI.
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paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:26 AM

No she has insurance. She just doesn't feel that she needs medication. She says she can control it on her own.

I don't know if he wants both kids. Right now he's just fighting for the oldest. If she gets on meds stat, do you think it'll make a difference?

Quoting hollydaze1974:

Ohhhh boy. A mental illness that is not being treated is grounds for proving unfit... Especially since she made a text to him. I assume she has no insurance. Get her to the Medicaid and DHS office and see if she qualifies. She could lose both children if she doesn't show she is taking care of herself. He could very well win if can't prove she is attempting to control her MI.


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Bookwormy
by Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:34 AM
I don't think bipolar is. But untreated w/suicidal text? Maybe.
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sabrtooth1
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:36 AM

Your statement is misleading, don't you think?  "Being  BiPolar"  isn't the reason.  Stating you are suicidal, while ALSO stating that you don't need medication, AND stating that you cannot handle being a mom, IS enough reason to have your kids taken away. 

Plus, the husband obviously thinks the baby is NOT his, so there's another reason.

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:36 AM

Sigh...I know that looks so bad. But she said she was just being dramatic.

Quoting Bookwormy:

I don't think bipolar is. But untreated w/suicidal text? Maybe.


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paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jan. 5, 2013 at 12:38 AM

That seemed kinda long for a title don't you think?

And yes, I realise that. Right now I'm just trying to help with damage control.

Funny you should say that. She had actually cheated on him when she was a couple months pregnant. Obviously the baby would still be his but I think that planted a seed of doubt in his mind.

Quoting sabrtooth1:

Your statement is misleading, don't you think?  "Being  BiPolar"  isn't the reason.  Stating you are suicidal, while ALSO stating that you don't need medication, AND stating that you cannot handle being a mom, IS enough reason to have your kids taken away. 

Plus, the husband obviously thinks the baby is NOT his, so there's another reason.


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hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 1:08 AM
3 moms liked this
Meds will help her case immensely. No MI patient can control it on their own if they've verbalized / written down suicidal thoughts.
I'm bipolar, thought I could control it on my own.... But when I realized my down days left me a shell and my children were suffering, I went for help. I have a breakthrough episode from time to time, but they are few and far between. An untreated MI could definitely weigh in as " unfit" which means if the judge DOES give him custody, CPS could take the other until she agrees to seek help. That's the problem with mental illness, we think we are in total control when obviously we are not. But it can hurt your job, your family, and obviously yourself.
It's a chemical imbalance....if she was diagnosed with diabetes.... Would she refuse testing her blood sugar and taking a pill or shots of insulin so her children wouldn't witness a seizure ? Most likely not . But it is an invisible illness, too. Getting on med(s) would really help her case.. Along with a note from her psych about how long she's been coming and her progress.
We always think we're fine..... But we can't fight an illness happening in our head by " bucking up" IN OUR HEAD!
MI IS NOT an issue that's kept hush hush anymore. It's hugely publicized and greatly help by the right medication(s)

Quoting paganbaby:

No she has insurance. She just doesn't feel that she needs medication. She says she can control it on her own.

I don't know if he wants both kids. Right now he's just fighting for the oldest. If she gets on meds stat, do you think it'll make a difference?

Quoting hollydaze1974:

Ohhhh boy. A mental illness that is not being treated is grounds for proving unfit... Especially since she made a text to him. I assume she has no insurance. Get her to the Medicaid and DHS office and see if she qualifies. She could lose both children if she doesn't show she is taking care of herself. He could very well win if can't prove she is attempting to control her MI.


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paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jan. 5, 2013 at 1:12 AM

I'm going to make her read this :-)

Quoting hollydaze1974:

Meds will help her case immensely. No MI patient can control it on their own if they've verbalized / written down suicidal thoughts.
I'm bipolar, thought I could control it on my own.... But when I realized my down days left me a shell and my children were suffering, I went for help. I have a breakthrough episode from time to time, but they are few and far between. An untreated MI could definitely weigh in as " unfit" which means if the judge DOES give him custody, CPS could take the other until she agrees to seek help. That's the problem with mental illness, we think we are in total control when obviously we are not. But it can hurt your job, your family, and obviously yourself.
It's a chemical imbalance....if she was diagnosed with diabetes.... Would she refuse testing her blood sugar and taking a pill or shots of insulin so her children wouldn't witness a seizure ? Most likely not . But it is an invisible illness, too. Getting on med(s) would really help her case.. Along with a note from her psych about how long she's been coming and her progress.
We always think we're fine..... But we can't fight an illness happening in our head by " bucking up" IN OUR HEAD!
MI IS NOT an issue that's kept hush hush anymore. It's hugely publicized and greatly help by the right medication(s)

Quoting paganbaby:

No she has insurance. She just doesn't feel that she needs medication. She says she can control it on her own.

I don't know if he wants both kids. Right now he's just fighting for the oldest. If she gets on meds stat, do you think it'll make a difference?

Quoting hollydaze1974:

Ohhhh boy. A mental illness that is not being treated is grounds for proving unfit... Especially since she made a text to him. I assume she has no insurance. Get her to the Medicaid and DHS office and see if she qualifies. She could lose both children if she doesn't show she is taking care of herself. He could very well win if can't prove she is attempting to control her MI.



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hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 1:21 AM
1 mom liked this
From a fellow bipolar , I wish her the best! Now, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! :-) little BP humor there.

Quoting paganbaby:

I'm going to make her read this :-)

Quoting hollydaze1974:

Meds will help her case immensely. No MI patient can control it on their own if they've verbalized / written down suicidal thoughts.

I'm bipolar, thought I could control it on my own.... But when I realized my down days left me a shell and my children were suffering, I went for help. I have a breakthrough episode from time to time, but they are few and far between. An untreated MI could definitely weigh in as " unfit" which means if the judge DOES give him custody, CPS could take the other until she agrees to seek help. That's the problem with mental illness, we think we are in total control when obviously we are not. But it can hurt your job, your family, and obviously yourself.

It's a chemical imbalance....if she was diagnosed with diabetes.... Would she refuse testing her blood sugar and taking a pill or shots of insulin so her children wouldn't witness a seizure ? Most likely not . But it is an invisible illness, too. Getting on med(s) would really help her case.. Along with a note from her psych about how long she's been coming and her progress.

We always think we're fine..... But we can't fight an illness happening in our head by " bucking up" IN OUR HEAD!

MI IS NOT an issue that's kept hush hush anymore. It's hugely publicized and greatly help by the right medication(s)



Quoting paganbaby:

No she has insurance. She just doesn't feel that she needs medication. She says she can control it on her own.

I don't know if he wants both kids. Right now he's just fighting for the oldest. If she gets on meds stat, do you think it'll make a difference?

Quoting hollydaze1974:

Ohhhh boy. A mental illness that is not being treated is grounds for proving unfit... Especially since she made a text to him. I assume she has no insurance. Get her to the Medicaid and DHS office and see if she qualifies. She could lose both children if she doesn't show she is taking care of herself. He could very well win if can't prove she is attempting to control her MI.



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momoftween70
by New Member on Jan. 5, 2013 at 6:27 AM

I have abipolar daughter she is now 23 and has a baby girl who is now 6 months. Yes being Bipolar can be a obstical and make paenting hard but if she looks after her own mental health there so be no reason the child should be taken from her. I am canandian and our rules are diffferent for that kind of issue. Encourage to go to councilling and join groups where she meet other Mom's and get some support from other Mom's . I hope this os good advice.

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