Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Lounge The Lounge

At what age is it too old to be spanking your kids?

Posted by   + Show Post

I remember when I was 5 years old, my step dad would spank his 16 or 17 year old son.

Would you spank your older children if you thought it was working?

Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Replies (261-270):
stillkim
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 3:21 PM

 


Quoting mommylovingtime:

That is sooo not okay. Spanking at an older age just seems sexual.


 Yiks! Why do you think that?

luvmybug
by Amanda on Jan. 27, 2013 at 4:43 PM
I agree with this. I do not think it is ok at all.

Quoting mommylovingtime:

That is sooo not okay. Spanking at an older age just seems sexual.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
lifeforchrist
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:43 AM

I do not hit my children. Nor do i believe spanking is a voiolent act. I am showing that when negative behaviours are used they get nagative results. I believe there is a huge difference between the role of the parents and the children. I don't spank my husband because he doesnt need it. Its a season of life. i believe with spaanking as with anything else it needs to be consistent. Most parents arent and say they 'didn't see a difference' my husband wasnt spanked his mom was all pro equality and no violence, well him and his brother abuse and hate thier parents, they can never say a respectful thing. I was spanked as a child until around 5 and I am appaled by the way my husband disrecpects his parents. Not to mention his brother deals with anger managment and other abuses. Tell me timeouts worked for them.

Quoting Kim042269:

Right. Well, I've seen your argument plenty of times, and I disagree with it. I think hitting your children enourages them to hit, is humiliating, and takes from your relationship with them. I was hit, and I don't think it was a good thing. I have years of experience as a parent - so I am speaking from experience - and from my experience with raising my children - the older who I did hit, and the younger ones who I did not, I can whole heartedly assure you that it is not better to hit. I also think hitting is a violent act, and no household should have violence within it. I am not hit by my husband when I do something he doesn't - why should it be ok that my children are hit when I don't like what they are doing?

Quoting lifeforchrist:

IQuoting Kim042269:

As a mom who used to spank, my advice is, don't. Not at any age. It's humiliating, it doesn't teach anything but that hitting is the answer when you have a problem, and studies show that it causes a whole range of problems. I wish I had understood that when my older kids were little. I really do.

I've read those studies and believe it's all a bunch of junk. I think real life is a better indicator of how things work. People have spanked children for centuries and people have turned out fine. We now have a generation of 'timeouts' and we see children have become montsers, disrespectful and they don't listen. Don't even get me started on teenagers. When spanking is done correctly it works wonders. I believe in spanking my kids, I also believe never spanking in anger, and that my children aren't criminals so spanking isn't a punishment it's a correction.



lifeforchrist
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:09 AM

spanking is not the norm. Its barely used by parents anymore. Take a look at this thread. That should be a good indicator. We see spanking mostly in Christian churches now, since the brainwashing of 'dont hit your children, they become violent' has been pushed on us. There is ZERO proof for that. 20 years ago children were much different creatures than the timeout children we have today. Go ask any grandmother who was parenting 20 years ago. SHe'll tell you how appalling childrens behaviour today.

Like i said before i spank i don't hit. If my children do something wrong i spank them. I dont exhaust everything, get frustrated and then whack them out of anger. I am talking about consistent spanking as a form of dicipline, never done in anger.

Quoting Blue_Spiral:


Quoting lifeforchrist:

IQuoting Kim042269:

As a mom who used to spank, my advice is, don't. Not at any age. It's humiliating, it doesn't teach anything but that hitting is the answer when you have a problem, and studies show that it causes a whole range of problems. I wish I had understood that when my older kids were little. I really do.

I've read those studies and believe it's all a bunch of junk. I think real life is a better indicator of how things work. People have spanked children for centuries and people have turned out fine. We now have a generation of 'timeouts' and we see children have become montsers, disrespectful and they don't listen. Don't even get me started on teenagers. When spanking is done correctly it works wonders. I believe in spanking my kids, I also believe never spanking in anger, and that my children aren't criminals so spanking isn't a punishment it's a correction.

Ok, where do I begin? lol

Those studies are based on real life. If they were merely opinions they wouldn't be called studies. 

Spanking is the norm and the mainstream way of parenting, so for you to label our culture of disrespectful children as the result of parents not spanking their kids for every unsavory act, is pretty inconsistent with reality and very difficult to support.

There are a lot of factors in how children turn out to be as adults, but there is absolutely nothing that supports the idea that spanking is necessary to create happy, healthy, productive, responsible adults. NOTHING.

So, let's err on the side of caution and not hit our little children out of fear that they might not fear authority enough.

Ok?



Blue_Spiral
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:39 AM


You're wrong on every single thing you just said.

Quoting lifeforchrist:

spanking is not the norm. Its barely used by parents anymore. Take a look at this thread. That should be a good indicator. We see spanking mostly in Christian churches now, since the brainwashing of 'dont hit your children, they become violent' has been pushed on us. There is ZERO proof for that. 20 years ago children were much different creatures than the timeout children we have today. Go ask any grandmother who was parenting 20 years ago. SHe'll tell you how appalling childrens behaviour today.

Like i said before i spank i don't hit. If my children do something wrong i spank them. I dont exhaust everything, get frustrated and then whack them out of anger. I am talking about consistent spanking as a form of dicipline, never done in anger.

Quoting Blue_Spiral:


Quoting lifeforchrist:

IQuoting Kim042269:

As a mom who used to spank, my advice is, don't. Not at any age. It's humiliating, it doesn't teach anything but that hitting is the answer when you have a problem, and studies show that it causes a whole range of problems. I wish I had understood that when my older kids were little. I really do.

I've read those studies and believe it's all a bunch of junk. I think real life is a better indicator of how things work. People have spanked children for centuries and people have turned out fine. We now have a generation of 'timeouts' and we see children have become montsers, disrespectful and they don't listen. Don't even get me started on teenagers. When spanking is done correctly it works wonders. I believe in spanking my kids, I also believe never spanking in anger, and that my children aren't criminals so spanking isn't a punishment it's a correction.

Ok, where do I begin? lol

Those studies are based on real life. If they were merely opinions they wouldn't be called studies. 

Spanking is the norm and the mainstream way of parenting, so for you to label our culture of disrespectful children as the result of parents not spanking their kids for every unsavory act, is pretty inconsistent with reality and very difficult to support.

There are a lot of factors in how children turn out to be as adults, but there is absolutely nothing that supports the idea that spanking is necessary to create happy, healthy, productive, responsible adults. NOTHING.

So, let's err on the side of caution and not hit our little children out of fear that they might not fear authority enough.

Ok?




tracy211
by New Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:53 PM

My kids are 13 and 15 and we still spank.  Actually we spank more now than when they were younger.  At this age, they know what they did was wrong so they're obviously doing it on purpose.  And grounding won't work with our crazy, hectic schedules, so spanking at least gets the point across that we don't like what they're doing.

Kitty_Myrick
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:19 AM

     Acording to my Mom never.  She pulls out her slipper (can't spell the spanish word) and I think us kids run faster then the grandkids. I achaly think it's kind of funny. My brother is almost fourty and his onder boys are adalts themselves 18, 19. And trust me thows three need a good smack from time to time.

FawnW1978
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:51 PM

I remember my dad trying to spank me at about the age of 13-14 and I laughed at him...that was the last time he "tried" to spank me...I just got grounded instead...

My girls are 7 & 9 and we still spank...but I can't tell you the last time I had to spank them...They are scared if I even mention the possiblity of spanking them...I'm thinking 16-17 years old is a little too old...I would probably think 13 or so is pleanty old enough....when my kids get to that age, it will be more of "taking away privileges" than the spanking thing...

beckolette
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:42 PM

LOL 14 yr old just read this and said, "You should START spanking at 3 1/2. Because at that age they know better." 

Ann706
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 7:55 AM
I think at the older age its just mortifying. And most people on this board think people make it up when they say they are spanked at 13 or 14 but I was and I am in therapy now the therapist said it is bordering on sexual abuse . I also got slapped on my hand three times at 18 in front of my aunt as I got bad results in my sixth year exams . Ill never forget this there has to be better ways
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN