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being a step mom is sometimes hard on my heart and very heavy on my soul

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 12:35 AM
  • 8 Replies

i have been a step mother for 5 yrs....   i often find myself in very odd situations and think how could you, as a parent -as a mother let your children go through these things.    i have been "MOM" since our youngest was 3months old,  truely i am all they know...  there bio-mother signed a paper giving up her parental rights also saying she would allow me to adopt them,  BUT when it got close to the court date for this ---  my so called mother in law and sister in law encouraged her she chould change her mind...   when we live in same town as the bio mother she was only 5 blocks away, and had court ordered supervised visits and she never came, now that we live almost 6 hrs away she all sudden wants to see them...  she threw her babies out in dead of winter in the snow, and has several substanciated reports against her with child welfare, yet she keeps being allowed to harm my children..  i sit up with them when they r sick, when they have a bad dream i hold them when they r scared, she has never done anything..   she doesnt even pay her court ordered child support, when they lock her up in jail my husbands aunt and grandmother bail her out....   i am at my wits end, i am on disability an cant afford a lawyer but i am sick of feeling like i am not doin my job as a parent as a mom by being a party to the emotional, mental and physical distruction of my children--  court order or not...  please someone help me shed some understanding , some suggestions..   thank you

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 12:35 AM
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Replies (1-8):
by Angie on Jan. 10, 2013 at 4:49 AM

Tough story!

by JoAnna on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:12 AM

That has got to be hard.  I'm sorry.

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:24 AM

That has to be so rough. Im sorry. I dont know what advice to give, but here's a BUMP so others can have a chance to see your post.

by Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:37 AM

It is hard and heartbreaking at times. Its amazing some of the crap bad parents do and they always seem to come out shinning. I dont believe that courts do anything anymore "in the best interest" of the child.  The stories I hear on here I can believe there are alot of great parents out there that dont recieve enough credit.   It may not hold alot of weight now but when the kids are grown and they thank their parents, mom & dad its the ones that were there for them and raised them doesnt matter who gave birth or helped create them.   I never thought Id make it through some tough times.. but after my oldest ones got to that point.. nothing prior to that hurt anymore.  I knew I made a huge difference in a childs life and I was loved for all I did.  

by Silver Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:56 AM
1 mom liked this

I notice in this entire post you don't mention your husband once. He is their father. What is he doing about anything? The burden belongs to him.

by Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 1:04 PM

Just keep this in mind.

As adults, your children will remember who tucked them in, kissed away their boo boos, hugged away their fears, and disciplined them only when necessary. The person they will remember doing those things will be YOU. As adults, it will be you they come running to asking how to change a diaper, they will ask you to babysit your grandbabies. She can't take that from you, no matter what she does.

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 3:04 AM

I'm sorry to hear that.

by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 4:12 AM

I'm sorry. If you need someone to vent about dead beat BM's, I've always been a good listener, and I know how BM's like that are, unfortunately. ):

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