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Boyfriend treats his daughter better then mine ugh!

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 My boyfriend and I have been together since my daughter was 2 and his 3. They are only nine months apart. He has made no effort to bond at all with my daughter and she lives with us yet every weekend when his daughter is over he treats her like a little princess and mine gets jealous and as a result she is mean to his daughter. They are 4 and 5 now. Don't get me wrong he does buy my daughter stuff but he never plays with her or lets her sit on his lap or watch movies or anything. His daughter never gets introuble and does what ever you tell her to and mine while she is a spirited on lol. Regardless of their personalitlies they should be treated the same and he should have bonded with her after 2 years. She tells me all the time that she doesn't even like him and I know it is because he puts no effort in. I have even caught him giving her dirty looks and she has too.  This makes me so sad for my daughter. Please help!

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 1:27 PM
Replies (41-50):
bela93
by New Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:22 AM
1 mom liked this
You shouldnt take that from him. If he cant treat your daughter right and wants to be giving her dirty looks you two should not be together and you should be with someone who respects you and your daughter. Your daughter should come before any man !
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Mom2HayTay
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:06 AM
2 moms liked this

 Is your daughter's father around? My stepdad was around since I was 2 and I know he loves me but he never treated me and my sister(his biodaughter) the same. It was fine with me though, I had my dad sometimes and I think because my dad was sorta around he never wanted to cross boundaries that would imply he was trying to take my dads place. I would get over it. He doesn't get to see his daughter everyday so of course he's going to make up for lost time. If it bothers you that your daughter is feeling left out when his comes of then you should over compensate for yours. Spend extra time with your daughter so she doesn't realize it. If you love this guy then just make it work. Good luck!

bugismyworld
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:11 AM

 leave his a** no guy should come before your kid if he doesn't even treat them with respect or they don't like them

EsmeVincent
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:15 AM
You should talk to him about it...if you don't like the way he treats her then you need to talk to him
DiANAiVELiSSE
by Diana on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:17 AM

 Exactly this!

Quoting Jennyanne322:

It's not his kid. He doesn't have to.


othermom
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:23 AM

Talk to him about it. If he is not willing to try to change and be nicer to her atleast, then I would think about leaving.

I went through something like this with my son when me and my husband got together, although there were no other kids involved. He was nice to my son and everything but didn't get to involved with him, untill we moved in together, even then it wasn't a whole lot. Then when we decided to have a child together he really started to get involved with everything with my son.

BrittanyJean220
by New Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:26 AM
2 moms liked this
No he doesn't have to, but when your in a relationship with someone and you love that person; whether you have kids with a previous relationship or not you treat your partners kids like your own and you treat the kids equally.

Maybe he isn't the right man for you and your daughter. I wouldn't want to be with someone who treated his kid differently and didn't like mine. You both deserve better than that.


Quoting Jennyanne322:

It's not his kid. He doesn't have to.

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nebraskamomto2
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:30 AM
1 mom liked this

 Sorry but why are you still with him?  If any boyfriend made my child feel like that in her own home, he'd have to leave.  You should choose your daughter and her happiness over your own. 

MamaScho88
by New Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:30 AM

 I think it's time to dump the boyfriend if you talk to him about it and things don't change :(

gcecelie
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this

 I grew up this way, the step kid in a relationship. My brothers are my half siblings and I have never been mean to them but my step father was completely juvenile about having a step child.

The end result in my case is that now I have no relationship with him. I have never sat on his lap, leaned on him, and can count the times I have given him a hug. I may have said "I love you" once.

This is really traumatic though. Everytime I go home to visit my family it takes an entire week of emotional prepping. A lot of crying. When I get there everything is fine, but there are a lot of memories I have to fight just to get the strength to go.

Long story short, if you want to spend the rest of your life with him, I suggest getting to the bottom of it. He can't argue and deflect his way out of this because it directly affects a child's life. Even if you have to agree with him and make plans to move forward together changing certain ways (some people have to take others down with their ship before getting on a life raft), it is worth it.

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