See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
and it is causing more and more problems. i have a serious animosity towards the stupid online game anyway because of his past over abuse of it. we met about 3 years ago. we moved in together maybe 6 months later and today we are one month shy of our 1 year wedding aniversary. the problem started about 6mos after we moved in together. we had been snowed in our apartment for several days. he decided to go online and play an infamous online game. apperantly he has played this game for years, he just hid the obsession from me. at first it wasnt so bad....i mean we were snowed in for goodness sake. but then it got progressivly worse....staying up until 2am...drinking hardcore...laying out of work because he was hungover...and i do believe to finish his "quests". it caused significant arguments that got really vulgar and violent at times.
dec 2011 we moved out of the apt and into a rental home. due to finances being tight, we decided to not have tv or internet at the house. on his off days he would go to his moms house and play. i never had to see it and the late nights didnt happen. we watched movies together and talked more...which i loved. then the internet and tv got hooked back up. i was nervous that it was going to cause problems again. he promised me that it wouldnt. there were no longer those 2am nights and he had stopped drinking so he wasnt violent anymore. but he was aggressive....meaning whenever he had a day off...he would play all day long and just really be mean when i got home. if the kids were there (10 and 4) he would brush them off and let them tear up the house....of course when i got home at 730pm i was expected to clean it up...take care of the kids...so he can chat with his online friends and ignore me.
when that lease was up...he decided that the best thing for our family is to move in to his mom's basement until we can find a house to buy for ourselves. i wasnt happy about it but 6mos is the maximum timelimit he gave me and really in the grand scheme of things isnt a terribly long time. however the gaming continues. he has now downloaded skype to the computer. i hardly ever go online but when i do...skype automatically comes up. he is chatting with some girl in cali that plays the same game. she is constantly calling him sweetie and hon. i didnt feel comfortable about that and questioned him about it. he denied any wrong doing because he was talking to her about the game. (and yet another online friend sent him a pic...titled her name and mmmmmm...?) he said he would talk to her and tell her to tone it down. not long after that....i came home after dropping the kids off at school to him talking to her on skype. i didnt know it was her...i heard him say...dont worry...ill take care of it....i can send you the money. wtf? after he hung up i asked him send who money for what? and he told me that she is short on finances and she wants to "change servers" so she can play with him on certain levals. again i told him i didnt feel comfortable with that. we are trying to save for a home and spending extra on another girl in cali is really disrespectful to me. especially since WE cant do anything together. he told me he wasnt going to do it but i was being really immature about the situation.
this week i had tried to make some alone time for us. tuesday we wouldnt have kids so i was thinking we could go do something since i got off work early. that afternoon he called me up after figuring the finances (we had just gotten paid) and said that we wont be doing anything. we might be able to rent movies but we cant go out to eat because we have to save save save. i was pissed but i bit my tongue. he is right to a certain extent. we do need to save. but he will blow 15-50 dollars a month on that game but cant take me to dinner? i would settle for taco bell at this point. we got a couple of movies that night and watched them...well i did. he was busy skyping on his telephone. i didnt say anything. the next morning i go online to check my email. skype signs in. and loads the chat he was having with her...while he was supposed to be watching the movie with me. she is back at the sweetie this and sweetie that and oh so sorry i havent changed servers yet hon...i had to wait on the cash.
last night i couldnt deal with it anymore. i got home and put the kids to bed and about 9pm i asked him if he wanted to finish a movie we started...he didnt want to. he wanted to play his game more....granted he had been playing since 6pm!!!! i am fed up being put on the back burner so he can talk to everyone else but me. he says there is nothing going on with that chick but refuses to address the way she talks to him. we dont do anything anymore because we dont have the $ due to saving constantly. but he can spend monthly to game. and talk to her. and not me. i tell him if the shoe was on the other foot, he would be pissed too. sitting in his moms basement watching him game and talk to other girls is building so much animosity in me i dont want to be around here. today i drove around town for an hour after dropping the kids off at school just so i wouldnt see him before work. i am fed up...
im sorry this is so long but if any ladies out there have advise for me please help!