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Warning...angry vent ahead...

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Why the f*** does my job description as "mother" include every fu**ing thing. Who decided that it was my job to get up every single weekend for the past 2 and a half years? I am so so so tired of me being the responsible one. For once....just fu**ing once, I'd like to sit on my ass in my own TV room with the door closed and not be bothered for anything. I would like to eat supper without having to stop and do 5 other things. And you ask me why I dont want another baby?? WTF? Are you blind? Dumb? Ignorant?
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by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 5:55 PM
Replies (21-30):
elderlywoman
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:45 PM
1 mom liked this

One of the only reasons it's easier to be a single mom than a married one....I know I have to do everything - it's not a question, therefore I don't really ever have the right to complain about it - I signed up for the job....

...as for you -- I can see where it'd get really annoying thinking that you have the support there and knowing that is the way it SHOULD be - but not getting it - that's NOT what you signed up for.....I don't think that has anything to do with maturity, either - I think it has to do with not getting what you deserve to get when you got married and became parents.  I feel for ya.

Ilaynasmommy
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:01 PM
Wow. Dh is awesome. He does everything around the house and takes care of dd. I just spend family time. And it was his idea to have another baby. Of course ill need to give him more breaks if I can.
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Ilaynasmommy
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:09 PM
Do you work? How many he's? Does he work?


Quoting TexasMami409:

Yes, I have tried conversations. They work for a day or two, then he goes back into his little bubble. It's fine, I mean, all he's doing is teaching me that I don't need him and can do everything alone if I needed to. I try to let him know I need his help as my man, as her dad...and a lot of the time he makes it feel as if I'm being silly. Anyways, this was a vent. A vent is supposed to be an emotional outpouring of frustration. Even if the readers dont necessarily understand or relate.




Quoting cherylam:

I sense anger & frustration in your post, and having been where you are, and did for 20 years, I totally understand..  Have you ever calmly discussed this with your DH?  Screaming the anger you feel solves nothing and only ends in more anger.  If nothing else, save your pennies, hire a weekend babysitter and get a hotel room for the weekend. It would save on your sanity, maybe save your marriage and throw a very broad hint to DH.  By the way, my children are now grown and gone, and I would do anything to have a house filled with children and their noise again...enjoy it while you have it.  Time will fly and you will wonder where it went.



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Ilaynasmommy
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:10 PM
Ok. Now it makes sense.


Quoting TexasMami409:

Oh yes I work. I'm a social worker. He works construction and to add to my bitterness, he has been OFF for a few weeks. So he is sleeping in everyday and "chillin" when he does wake up.




Quoting GELiz:

I remember telling my DH that I felt like I married a teenager. He didn't like that too much. YOur anger is reasonable. Find a way to tell him you want to have two nights a week where you switch places. See what happens. Do you stay at home or do you work also? Hugs to you. be brave and find a way to broach this subject practice saying what you want to say so you can say it in love and not anger.



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TexasMami409
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:14 PM
Yes I work. I'm a social worker for hospice so I work 5 days a week, from 8am till I see my scheduled patients. I try to be done by 12 everyday but thats so I can be home for her naptime and to plan the rest of my very busy evening that includes every other responsibility. He works construction. He can work 5, 6, or 7 days a week and between 8 to 12 hour days. BUT, and heres the kicker. When he works long hours, I dont expect much. But he has LONG spells of time between jobs where he sits at home for dayssss and does nothing. And THAT is what offends me.


Quoting Ilaynasmommy:

Do you work? How many he's? Does he work?




Quoting TexasMami409:

Yes, I have tried conversations. They work for a day or two, then he goes back into his little bubble. It's fine, I mean, all he's doing is teaching me that I don't need him and can do everything alone if I needed to. I try to let him know I need his help as my man, as her dad...and a lot of the time he makes it feel as if I'm being silly. Anyways, this was a vent. A vent is supposed to be an emotional outpouring of frustration. Even if the readers dont necessarily understand or relate.






Quoting cherylam:

I sense anger & frustration in your post, and having been where you are, and did for 20 years, I totally understand..  Have you ever calmly discussed this with your DH?  Screaming the anger you feel solves nothing and only ends in more anger.  If nothing else, save your pennies, hire a weekend babysitter and get a hotel room for the weekend. It would save on your sanity, maybe save your marriage and throw a very broad hint to DH.  By the way, my children are now grown and gone, and I would do anything to have a house filled with children and their noise again...enjoy it while you have it.  Time will fly and you will wonder where it went.




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sav820
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:18 PM
1 mom liked this

 Sounds like you need a  vacation mommy alone...or a weekend alone  ...with No husband , NO kids, and then when you come back you will appreciatethem more...its fine,..every Mom deserves some time off...nothing wrong with  it....And then allow him a weekend a way too...be Fair..!

I had 6 children and yes I was lucky my DH helped from day one & still does.....he's a god send. I also took time for me too.  Maybe hire a teenager to be a mommy's helper a couple weekends a month for a few hours..ask around the high schools  in the parenting classes or  a neighbor, friends, your church if you belong  etc.

Maybe set a up a weekend at a friends alone or if you can afford it a hotel on a beach, or trade with another mom...You watch her kids a entire weekend, then she watches yours entire weekend,  Friday till sunday  once in a while...NO exchange of cash...JUST TRADES--You supply food., diapers etc.

Those who do everything except wipe their husbands butts,...You really NEED to speak UP...and allow daddy to be daddy sometimes for a whole day or even a weekend....then HE will appreciate you much more..Go away even if its to a friends or your parents house, .when you come back and he's pulling his hair out. he will finally understand..LOL....TRY IT..Reverse  your lives, that will give him a great dose of what its Like for a mother daily & sometimes its all they need to understand... Blessings!

 

justme91755
by New Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:48 PM

 When my first three were young my husband expected me to take care of everything even though I worked more hours out of the house than he did.  He went out bowling or to karaoke every night and then took off with his brother or friends on the weekends to go to tournaments or fishing or what ever.  One Friday evening he came home and I already had the car packed,  and I was resdy to back out of the driveway as he pulled in.  I told him I was going to visit my girlfriend and i would be home Sunday night,  Have fun, dinner is on the stove and the kids have already had their baths and I left.  He was upset  and when i got back I told him for every weekend he left the kids with me I expected to have and equal number of weekends for myself.  I loved taking care of my kids but I was not his mother and he wass their father and needed to make time to spend with them.  It worked for a while.  Eventually we divorced for other reasons ( he spent money faster then I could make it ) .  sometimes you have to feed them their own medicine. good luck

TexasMami409
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:34 PM
Wow. OK.
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Rosalind2012
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:47 PM
2 moms liked this

It's a slap in the face, isn't it, when your husband, who is supposed to love and support you doesn't seem to care that you may be worn out, and need a break? I just went through that myself with my husband. He is unable to roll out of bed before at least 11, and then after he gets up, he's on the internet for the rest of the day. We have a 2 year old and 6 month old, and throughout this last pregnancy, he sat on the couch on that stinking internet as I lugged the vacuum cleaner up and down stairs, took care of the kids, made meals and worked full time. It's more than just an annoyance, it's hurtful, and I spent time even shedding tears over it. Right after I delivered our youngest son, he lay on the visitor's chair and told the nurse that he was in "too much pain" to get up and watch the baby get his first bath because his muscles hurt after swimming all afternoon that day....Incredible. I am surprised I still have all my teeth from constantly grinding them....he he....I feel for you! And to the other person who is being contrary, just for the sake of being contrary...it was clear that this was a post from someone who was seeking support, and relief in bouncing her frustration off others...got nothing better to do, or what? It was not an invitation for you to proclaim how much of a better mom you are than others. It was just a vent...geez...kick someone while they're down, why don't ya?

TexasMami409
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:56 PM
Pshhh, controversial topic? Like feeling frustrated at my husband? Hardly.....do you happen to notice that you are the only person who doesnt relate? I don't see the invalidity in needing and expecting help from my husband with a 2 year old. And I'm not reporting you silly, I'm just irritated as hell. I'm done.
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