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Depressed with the flu

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:35 PM
  • 7 Replies
I have been at home with the flu for more than a week. My kids were sick last week too, but thank goodness tomorrow they will be back to school. I am prone to depression, and there is almost nothing worse for it than being stuck in the house and isolated from other adults. I get feeling so down and hopeless.

I am an educated 42 year old woman from a privileged background, but I feel I have achieved so little. I have stayed home with my kids while my peers have juggled work and family, and now I feel I have fallen so far behind that I am completely discouraged. People always tell me how lucky I am to have been able to stay home when the kids were young, but the grass is always greener...

Now I have a teenage girl and a tween boy, and they aren't very nice to me. We fight all the time, and I actually hate being a mom. I am afraid to tell people, but if I had it to do over - I don't think I would have kids. I really don't know what I want at his point, but I am SO BORED!! To combat it I drink a lot, and my husband and I have group sex with other couples, but there are always dramas and debacles, and I just end up feeling empty inside.

I used to have dreams and be excited about things, but now I don't even know what I am interested in. I just want to have fun. I am so scared of getting old and loosing my looks. I honestly feel more afraid of getting old than I do of dying. I wish I could care more about the future of my children, but I am so mad at them for the way they treat me, I wish they could just go to boarding school and get out of my hair. It is so sad and hard to admit this.

Furthermore, I don't have any female friends to speak of. I used to have a few, but now no one seems to have time for me. I guess they think I am a drunk, or insane for having a semi open marriage, or maybe just not that interesting (since I don't actually do much more than housework and putting up with kids that treat me like crap). When I see my "friends" in the street they always say how we just must get coffee or lunch soon, but they never find the time.

Now I don't even know where to start, or what to do to feel better. Maybe getting over the flu will help, but I am wondering - is there anyone out there that feels like me? Is there anyone that experiences mothering as this thankless and isolating?

Thanks for reading.
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by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:35 PM
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Replies (1-7):
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:47 PM
First of all, you need an unconditonal, compassionate hug. *HUGGG* I am so very sorry you feel so lost. Do you take depression meds? Have you ever seen a doctor for your emotional crises? I would try to put an end to the group sex, as it can only further your low self esteem. It can be fun when both people are SUPER confident. But you are not.

I am willing to bet more women of tweens and teens feel like you do than are willing to admit it. Admitting it out loud is huge, and I dont care what anyone else says, there is no feeling that is invalid or "wrong". Thats why they are called feelings. But what you are having are unhealthy feelings that need addressing.

I hope you find some support here in this group if nothing else. Female friends are indeed hard to come by in real life. You are also not alone in that. And to hear my mom tell it, it gets harder with age.

God Bless, and I'm here to talk if you need to again, just send me a friend request!
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by New Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:51 PM
Thanks so much for reading my post and sending a virtual hug. I do feel a little better knowing someone is out there. My mom doesn't really have any friends either, and she hasn't for most of her adult life. I imagine if I had a job might meet a few people, and I have met some people through group sex, but that whole situation makes for complicated friendships. I am thinking at this point we should take a break from it because I am feeling so fragile.

I have gotten lots of treatment for depression, and it has made me so much worse. I went on medication in 2005. Since then I have been on 11 different prescriptions, and suffered innumerable side effects, some of them quite debilitating. Right now I am trying to wean myself off extremely slowly. It is a long hard road, and staying inside for this long is not making things better. Hope things are looking brighter there in TX! I am new to the site and don't see how to send a friend request, but I imagine I'll figure it out once I am on a desktop rather than an iPhone :)
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by Representative on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:02 AM
Have you ever seen a therapist in the past to help with your depression? I'm sorry you are going through this.. :(
by Julie on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:55 AM

Get you arse out of the house and get a job or go back to school but definitely stop having group sex this is tearing you apart more than anything else - your kids are not respecting you mainly due to their age but also because you do not respect yourself enough to have your husband respect you by maintaining a monogamous marriage. lastly I feel ya on many of this except the open marriage so I am getting my arse up and taking a semester at college starting Wednesday I might get done by the time I'm 50 lol - Good Luck!!!

by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 5:21 AM

Having the flu is very depressing. Sometimes you feel like you are never going to be the same! And your kids are at the age when they are very difficult, it gets easier as they mature. You can make a lot of friends at AA meetings, it sounds like you need to quit drinking altogether. Would your husband support you in that decision?

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:40 PM

Welcome to The Lounge and good luck to you!  I hope you are feeling better.  Having the flu is awful, it can make the most optimistic person depressed. *hugs*

by Angie on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:26 AM

Welcome, staying in the home is enough to keep anyone depressed, get out of the house and window shop or just walk around the town.

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