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is there nothing that can be JUST MINE?!

Posted by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:10 PM
  • 30 Replies
First off, I want to be clear about something:
This is a vent about my s/o, but not a bash! He is a fantastic guy. Caring, patient, a good provider, a good father & stepfather.
With that being said, sometimes he is a little too "caring".
He is laid off work right now (electrician in the oilfields, he's laid off almost every winter) and since he's not working, he's helping me out a lot....a LOT.
There's little things, like when he asks what I want to do today, and I say "Idk, I need to sweep floors and do laundry before I decide if there's anything fun I want/have time to do"
Then I step away for whatever and come back to my work already half done. I explain to him that housework is how I clear my head, its MY job. If he wants to help keep the house up, please stick to the chore list posted on the refridgerator.
This stuff happens very often, but I know he's bored, so, I just stay patient and give him something else to do that is ACTUALLY helpful.
Well, he crossed a line today.
I thought of a DIY project that I wanted to make for my DDs upcoming birthday. He asked if he could help about a week ago. I made it VERY FUCKING CLEAR that, yes, he could help. But only when I asked for it. This was to be my project, and I was using materials that were given specifically to me as a gift by his parents, who know how much I love DIY.
Every day since I told him about the project, he has said "we need to get started on this" to which I always reply "Its fine, I'll get to it when I've got it fully mapped out in my head"
So about 20 minutes ago, I was cleaning our room, and he comes in from the garage to tell me that *insert whatever piece of wood here* was too wobbly, so he fixed it. I had no clue what he was talking about, so I follow him back out, and he has half the desk *what I'm using in the project* ripped apart, and he's trying to prep it for me, without even knowing how I wanted it. He ruined half of it, and I'm going to have to repair it before I start using it. And not only that, it was MY damned project, MY ideas, and something I've told him more than once not to worry about.

I'm hurt that every single thing I do, he has to have a hand in, I'm hurt that he made more work for me, and I'm hurt that he took away my chance to "make the first cut" on the project. It was special to me. I feel like he ruined my art canvas. Yes, thats how I feel about all my DIY projects. They were the only thing that was just mine, and he's taken it from me.
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by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
the4mutts
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:13 PM
Wow, that was a lot longer than I thought it would be, sorry! LoL
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the4mutts
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:18 PM

BUMP!

emilyelephant
by Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I know how I would feel if my boyfriend did that, I'm not way into DIY stuff but I've done a few girly things like bows and tutus, and I know what you mean by needing it pictured out perfectly in your head.  Maybe you could get him on Pinterest and he can find his own projects to work on

Kodysmommy928
by Jennifer on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:29 PM
2 moms liked this

I am sorry that you have a husband that likes to help you.

Love2BaMom77
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:36 PM

Awwwww man that sucks!!!!  I have the opposite issue with my hubby I'm a SAHM and with some things I feel a tad over whelmed and would love some help instead my hubby makes more work.  Bleh.  Hang in there.  Next time put a sign on your project that says Please keep your hands off I'd like to work on this BY MY SELF. 

the4mutts
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:47 PM
we dont use pinterest, but i get what youre saying.
He has projects sitting around that he could do/finish, he just cant stand to not be up my butt when he's off work LoL
Im grateful for his help, i definately prefer it to someone that sits & watches sports while grunting about wanting another beer hahaha
Just wish he would see when he goes from helping, to stepping on my toes


Quoting emilyelephant:

I know how I would feel if my boyfriend did that, I'm not way into DIY stuff but I've done a few girly things like bows and tutus, and I know what you mean by needing it pictured out perfectly in your head.  Maybe you could get him on Pinterest and he can find his own projects to work on


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the4mutts
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:48 PM
LoL i know, right? I should get all passive agressive and put notes on my things that say "if youre bored, you could finish weatherizing the gazebo!" Haha


Quoting Love2BaMom77:

Awwwww man that sucks!!!!  I have the opposite issue with my hubby I'm a SAHM and with some things I feel a tad over whelmed and would love some help instead my hubby makes more work.  Bleh.  Hang in there.  Next time put a sign on your project that says Please keep your hands off I'd like to work on this BY MY SELF. 


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DakotaHaley
by Crystal on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:53 PM

My hubby does it all the time when he is home and isn't working. I get frustrated because the housework is my job and although I love him helping it makes me feel bad even though I know that is not what he is trying to do.

    As for projects like DIY I would seriously talk to him about it and explain that DIY is a hobby of yours and you would appreciate to at least have that to relax with. As for the cleaning house and stuff good luck on that. I have told my hubby many times,but he keeps doing it. Now I just have to learn to appreciate it more.


the4mutts
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:02 PM
Yeah, I put up with the housework, and just gently remind him that there's other chores he can do, but the DIY ticked me off. He said he was sorry, but still doesnt know what he did wrong, since i waited so long to start.
Dude, its a 4 day project, tops, and her bday is 3 weeks away, chill! Lmao

Does your hubby have certain chores he prefers to help with when he's not working, or just kind of get into all of them?


Quoting DakotaHaley:

My hubby does it all the time when he is home and isn't working. I get frustrated because the housework is my job and although I love him helping it makes me feel bad even though I know that is not what he is trying to do.

    As for projects like DIY I would seriously talk to him about it and explain that DIY is a hobby of yours and you would appreciate to at least have that to relax with. As for the cleaning house and stuff good luck on that. I have told my hubby many times,but he keeps doing it. Now I just have to learn to appreciate it more.


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TexasMami409
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Such an odd complaint to have about a man! Lol....but I do see where it could be irritating.
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