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For those wondering if I am ever giving an update on my family...**another update added 2/1!!**

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:15 AM
  • 24 Replies
1 mom liked this

Yes, this is long overdue.  Almost 11 months overdue.  I kept most of you in the dark this year because well...the news was never that good. I'm sorry for that, but I didn't want to rehash heartbreak.

Today, well, NOW I will talk about it.  No, I won't answer any questions about the past, the whys.  If you don't already know about it, I don't want to rehash everything I have already said.  Sorry.  No offense.

If this gets too heated, I will delete it.  I don't want to argue or answer any questions.  I just want to give an update on my family.  Thanks in advance for your politeness.

For those who know our situation and have been awaiting an update, we had court today.  We were extremely nervous going in.  Without going into too much detail, we were in the courtroom for 2 1/2 hours for just our case.  Today was going to make or break us as parents.  It could go either way.  We could either get them back or lose them forever. 

The caseworker assigned to our case back in March after the initial report has done absolutely NOTHING for us all of this time.  In fact, he has tried to sabotage us, has had grudges against us which we have never deserved through all of this.  We called him several times a week and left voicemail messages for him, and he has never called us back.  He has not gotten referrals in to places we needed to be at for months after he was supposed to, he never called us about any of our children, he never kept us updated on anything.  We found out from our girls everything that was happening in their lives.  He told our girls that their Daddy and I weren't doing anything to get them back *huge lie!* and when our girls asked for their lawyer to be there while they saw the caseworker, the caseworker told them that they could not have their lawyer there.  Big mistake.  Huge.

My husband Leigh has a new lawyer now.  His former lawyer is only doing private practice as of December and we both are very happy with this new lawyer of his after today.  My lawyer is still the same.  She just doesn't say much.

So, we get into the courtroom and each lawyer and Kaden's GAL *Guardian Ad Litem...like a lawyer* gets to talk.  Everytime that one of our lawyers said something that the caseworker or his lawyer didn't like they objected...but everyone realized that they have NO EVIDENCE of any wrongdoing on our part. 

So, after 2 hours and 15 minutes of going back and forth the Commissioner had her speal.  What she said took Leigh and I by surprise.  What she said was that she only wanted to take about 5 minutes to say in the beginning that she wanted our kids to be returned home by the middle of April.  What ended up happening because of all the talking was that our son, Kaden, will be returned to us fully in two weeks' time *by Feb 12th*, we will have in home visits/overnight visits with all of us, girls, Kaden, Leigh and I until Spring Break *March 29-Apr 7* when the girls will be returned fully to us.  We will also have a family counselor come in at that time after everyone is home to our home once a week to counsel us as a family until October which as long as everything is okay by her at that time then they will be out of our lives for good. :)

Of course, the Commissioner said in closing "We can always take the kids back out if anything off happens while they are in their care...but I'm sure you are a wonderful family all together so I'm positive that won't happen.  I just have to say that because you never know with other families."

Oh...our caseworker was STEAMED.  He didn't want to give the kids back at all, and he was pissed that our Commissioner told him to give them back.  He kept trying to say that Leigh is going to beat his children within an inch of their lives, will beat and sexually abuse me and the kids, he punches holes in the walls of our home and that he doesn't deserve to have any kids.  Our Commissioner point blank asked "Where is your evidence to back up this ludicrousy?  Where is it said that he has done any of that?"  Our caseworker kept stuttering saying "Well, I don't HAVE any evidence!"  Exactly.  There isn't any because none of that has ever happened in our home.  Idiot :/ 

The only reason why they are out of the house is because Madison went to school back last February and said that Leigh spanked her 15 times, and then retracted her statement and apologized.   That is it, that's the ONLY reason they were taken.  All other thoughts we had were just speculation.  Everything came out last month as to why they were taken and that was the only thing on there.  That Leigh had spanked her 15 times.  But she apologized and said it wasn't that many even before they were taken.  Crazy, right?

Our next courtdate isn't until July 2nd unless something happens like he doesn't want to give the kids back.  In that case we will be back much sooner than later. 

This got way long and I'm sorry for that.  I hope y'all don't mind :)

I talked with my lawyer today *2/1*.  She said that she read the actual court order signed by the judge, and it says that Kaden has to be returned to us no later than February 8th, and our girls have to be returned to us no later than April 1st.  The girls will start in home and overnight visits as soon as our caseworker tells the place where we go to now and who will be transporting them from their places they are staying at here to our home, which from experience he won't tell them soon...*sigh*  Hopefully he will, and this order will be a kick in the rear for him.   The court order also didn't say that they need to come through our house before they return the kids, and my lawyer says that's very unusual for them to not want to come in and do an inspection, but they more than likely don't have any issues with our house then, and if they do want to come in, that they will need a new court order to be able to do that now since this current one doesn't say anything about it.

So yay!  This time next week we should have Kaden, and be able to see our girls without supervision here in our own home :)

I just had to share our excitement with y'all.  Thank you for all the comments good thoughts and prayers, they are really appreciated!  I'll keep y'all updated.


by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AlyssaN
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:27 AM
1 mom liked this
I've been wondering what's happened, but didn't want to ask. It's so hard because at times it's good they're there for good reasons, such as in our case when my DH was awarded custody since their mom just isn't able to care for them the way they need. But on the other hand, it's ridiculous, such as in your case. Some of them are on such power trips its sad.
I so hope everything goes smoothly and by October they are out of your lives forever :)
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taniamorse85
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:38 AM
1 mom liked this

I've been wondering, but I figured you'd update when you felt ready to do so.  Anyway, I'm glad there is a plan for you to get your kids back.  I hope the time between now and October flies by.

Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:45 AM

I can totally understand them being there for good reasons.  I totally applaud them for taking kids out of abusive homes, ones that have continual drug use, or really any reason that is valid.  Heck, we have a family down the street that should be called on, seriously.  The dad beats on the mom and kids all the time, and they allow their daughter to go outside and down the road with just underwear on. This experience has shed new light on their system though, and honestly I wouldn't wish this invasion on my worst enemy.  All through this they have treated us like common criminals.  You know what's sad though?  There are reports that we saw late last week that mention that our son has been laying on top of foster family members and has been grinding on them at his foster home.  Also that he pulls female's shirts out to look at their boobs.  He's 4!! Where is he learning that from?  We looked at that and both said "We need to get him out of there...he NEVER did that when he was at our home!"  Something wrong is going on in that foster home.  My husband's lawyer told us that his foster mom is a bad person.  There have been numerous reports like that that come out of her home.  And yet they don't do anything about her.  She's even in the process of adopting one of her foster boys because the mom doesn't care about him...he's been in the foster mom's care since birth and he's almost 2 now.  Scary stuff!  Thank you for your kind words!  I know for sure that we won't need them to come back in and take them again.  This past 11 months has been hell for us without them. :(

Quoting AlyssaN:

I've been wondering what's happened, but didn't want to ask. It's so hard because at times it's good they're there for good reasons, such as in our case when my DH was awarded custody since their mom just isn't able to care for them the way they need. But on the other hand, it's ridiculous, such as in your case. Some of them are on such power trips its sad.
I so hope everything goes smoothly and by October they are out of your lives forever :)


Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:48 AM

I hope so too.  It can't be as bad as the past 11 months was!  We are extremely excited to get our son home and to start the in home/overnight visits with our girls.  Thank you :)

Quoting taniamorse85:

I've been wondering, but I figured you'd update when you felt ready to do so.  Anyway, I'm glad there is a plan for you to get your kids back.  I hope the time between now and October flies by.


ashleighmama
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:58 AM
I dont know the back story to this, I dont think Ive even been on CM for 11 months so I didnt see your old post, but I am extremely happy for you mama, I cant begin to imagine the hell youve gone through during all of this. Hell, no one is a perfect parent, Im sure the hell not, and yes, we have spanked our 2 boys when they were younger, theyre 14 and 8 now. There ARE definately situations where the kids NEED to be removed for their own well being, but it does NOT sound like that was the case here. Im so sorry you and your hubby and kids have had to go through this b.s. But Im so happy it working out good now. Good luck and hugs mama!
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offrdngal
by Terri on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:19 AM

 Stefanie, I know i have said it over and over again, but I am sooo sorry that you had to go through this.  I know EXACTLY how you feel, as I went throughthe same experience with DCFS.  I am glad that your kids are finally coming home.

I wish there was something we could do, to bring people's attention to the wrongdoings of DCFS, BEFORE they become the next victims.

Bmama1
by Bernadette on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:01 AM
I don't know that back story but I hope everything works out for the best. :-)
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AlyssaN
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:02 AM
That is absolutely ridiculous!!! And when you get your son back, you're going to have to undo all that damage that's been unnecessarily done. My heart goes out to all of you in the coming months as the kiddos get transitioned back to their family.
Can you and/or lawyer report 'foster' family to someone who will actually pay attention and take action?


Quoting Kmakksmom:

I can totally understand them being there for good reasons.  I totally applaud them for taking kids out of abusive homes, ones that have continual drug use, or really any reason that is valid.  Heck, we have a family down the street that should be called on, seriously.  The dad beats on the mom and kids all the time, and they allow their daughter to go outside and down the road with just underwear on. This experience has shed new light on their system though, and honestly I wouldn't wish this invasion on my worst enemy.  All through this they have treated us like common criminals.  You know what's sad though?  There are reports that we saw late last week that mention that our son has been laying on top of foster family members and has been grinding on them at his foster home.  Also that he pulls female's shirts out to look at their boobs.  He's 4!! Where is he learning that from?  We looked at that and both said "We need to get him out of there...he NEVER did that when he was at our home!"  Something wrong is going on in that foster home.  My husband's lawyer told us that his foster mom is a bad person.  There have been numerous reports like that that come out of her home.  And yet they don't do anything about her.  She's even in the process of adopting one of her foster boys because the mom doesn't care about him...he's been in the foster mom's care since birth and he's almost 2 now.  Scary stuff!  Thank you for your kind words!  I know for sure that we won't need them to come back in and take them again.  This past 11 months has been hell for us without them. :(

Quoting AlyssaN:

I've been wondering what's happened, but didn't want to ask. It's so hard because at times it's good they're there for good reasons, such as in our case when my DH was awarded custody since their mom just isn't able to care for them the way they need. But on the other hand, it's ridiculous, such as in your case. Some of them are on such power trips its sad.

I so hope everything goes smoothly and by October they are out of your lives forever :)


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Kodysmommy928
by Jennifer on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:08 AM

Hugs!

autiemama516
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:22 PM

I am glad you updated. You guys have been in my prayers. Hugs

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