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Honest opinion needed please???

Posted by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:27 PM
  • 44 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Who was out of line in this situation?

Options:

Sister in law

Me


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Total Votes: 58

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My DD was graduating from Kindergarten and we decided to have a family get together for her at her favorite restaurant Pizza Hut. We invited all of our family, her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. My Brother in laws girlfriend has celiac disease and likes to make sure everyone knows about it. When I emailed her about coming she never responded so I re-emailed her the day before the party. She told me they were not coming because there was nothing there for her to eat (due to celiac). I said why doesn't she just come for a drink but she said it would not make sense if everyone but her was eating. I reminded her this was a celebration for a little girl, and it was not about her.  Was I wrong to do this??

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
anotherandree
by Inga on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:32 PM
2 moms liked this

I have to say, that since you asked for honest opinions, that I feel you should have let it go after you just asked her to come for a drink.  To me, that would have given her the message that you wanted her presence there.  However, I think reminding her that it is not about her comes across as snotty.  I'm sorry.

Gina1109
by New Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:33 PM
2 moms liked this
The phrase " you can't please everyone" comes to mind. It's about your daughter and her big day. It should be what she wants, so I don't see why your SIL can't come for her niece. She can eat before or after and just sit with a drink and enjoy the company :-) you did the right thing
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
gypsy30
by Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:35 PM

 Nope.  It's not about her and she should have made an effort to come, regardless of her celiac disease.  I'm with you.

anotherandree
by Inga on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Okay, let me edit a bit.  I think that your SIL should have made an effort to come regardless (totally agree with you on that one), but I think that you were wrong to remind her of that fact.

Jers.
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:39 PM
3 moms liked this

Pizza Hut has a salad bar with lots of veggies - she was being a bit of a self-centered bitch.

Their menu also includes quite a few salads


Italian Tuscan Salad**

Crisp Romaine lettuce tossed with Italian dressing, then topped with ham, pepperoni, Italian cheeses, sliced tomatoes, black olives, banana peppers, red onions and croutons.

Garden Salad

Dressing choices: Creamy Italian, French, Romano Cheese, Caesar, Thousand Island, Blue Cheese, Ranch, Light Italian or Vinegar & Oil.

Side Garden Salad

A smaller version of our classic Garden Salad!

 
Caesar Salad**
 Steak Salad**
 Grilled Chicken Salad
 B-B-Q Chicken Salad
 Buffalo Chicken Salad
 Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad**
 Steak Caesar Salad**


Juliasmommy1975
by Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:39 PM

I appreciate your honest opinion. the conversation actually went on for a while. Her telling me she why she can't come, me giving her suggestions (my daughter LOVES her) until I got fed up and told her it was not about her. She thought we should change restaurants.


I wish I could put the whole conversation on here to show!


this message was a reply to anotherandree. Sorry, I am new to this, lol!!



marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:17 AM
Did you read the post???


Quoting MJP76:

Yeah, I would have just dropped it when she said she didn't want to go. Put yourself in the child's shoes that is different from everyone else and cannot enjoy food like everyone else. I personally think it's rude to eat in front of someone that cannot partake. It's not about the mother, it's about the mother not wanting her child to feel left out, and that is completly acceptable. You are right, it's not about her or her daughter, but look at it differently. 

If it were at a movie theatre and the little girl was blind and could not watch the movie, would you want her to suffer through the movie even though she can't see it? I think it's polite for you to extend the invitation, but you should not be offended when the mother turned it down.


i have a friend who's son has severe autism. I KNOW for a fact every time I invite them to so wing they will not come, because he can not handle social situations, but I extend the invitation anyway because I want her to know that I am thinking of them. I am not offended when they turn me down, I am not offended when they don't show.


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MJP76
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:20 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh, sorry, your brother in laws GF... Idk where the hell I got child in there.. Guess I got confused.. I'm going to blame that on my meds..my bad

MJP76
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:23 AM



Quoting marchantmom06:

Did you read the post???


Quoting MJP76:

Yeah, I would have just dropped it when she said she didn't want to go. Put yourself in the child's shoes that is different from everyone else and cannot enjoy food like everyone else. I personally think it's rude to eat in front of someone that cannot partake. It's not about the mother, it's about the mother not wanting her child to feel left out, and that is completly acceptable. You are right, it's not about her or her daughter, but look at it differently. 

If it were at a movie theatre and the little girl was blind and could not watch the movie, would you want her to suffer through the movie even though she can't see it? I think it's polite for you to extend the invitation, but you should not be offended when the mother turned it down.


i have a friend who's son has severe autism. I KNOW for a fact every time I invite them to so wing they will not come, because he can not handle social situations, but I extend the invitation anyway because I want her to know that I am thinking of them. I am not offended when they turn me down, I am not offended when they don't show.



I deleted it sorry... My meds had me confused... Because it was a child's party, I just thought "child" my bad

Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I think you probably shouldn't have said "it wasn't about her" It's ok to think it, and I would've too, I mean really, she should just eat ahead of time, BUT, just good manners would require you to say okay, we're sorry you won't be there.

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