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Mean kids......and how to help your kids deal...

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:15 PM
  • 18 Replies
1 mom liked this

At least this is how we dealt with it today:


When Jenny got off the bus today Jenny said "Mommy is my face ugly"? I said no, you have a beautiful face, Why? That big kid on the bus said I have an ugly face. She was talking matter of fact. I said well that's not true is it? She said no. I said just tell him thank you and ignore him if he does it again and it will make him stop because he will not expect that answer. She laughed and said okay and skipped down the road while I held her hand, with not a care in the world. She didn't cry or whine, discussed it and moved on with her day. Proud of my girl.

I address it head on, give them tools and ask them what they know to help them move on. That words don't always mean what people say. We know the truth about ourselves, that we aren't ugly or stupid that sometimes people that are hurting people say hurtful things. We don't have to put up with it but we have the power over others words if we let ourselves have the power. That we don't have to let words win. I also told her if it keeps happening to tell a teacher and we will make it stop. She was happy and not phased so hopefully that is the end of it.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:15 PM
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LML1
by Kristy on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:40 PM
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 Luckily, I haven't run into that yet. Hopefully I don't have to deal with that any time soon. I'd do the same thing as you. All kids are beautiful : )

Thelmama
by Thelma on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:43 PM

And teaching them to deal with mean words in a way that makes them stronger helps them down the road.  It did my heart good to feel her little hand in my hand as she skipped down the road with joy and not a care in the world.  That her spirit is bright and vibrant despite someone saying an ugly thing today.  It made my heart leap with joy. Back in my day, we weren't taught this and some of us had homes that had words that hurt. So I want to teach my kids to be strong and their home doesn't have hurtful words. Thank goodness.

Quoting LML1:

 Luckily, I haven't run into that yet. Hopefully I don't have to deal with that any time soon. I'd do the same thing as you. All kids are beautiful : )


NewMom11222011
by Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:45 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd advocate what I'm being taught as a parent-active ignoring!  If your child gives the other child no reaction, the verbal abuse will likely stop.  If it still doesn't, then I'd have her tell the nearest adult.

Mama2Spencerninja

Thelmama
by Thelma on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:49 PM
1 mom liked this

That is what I do by having her say thank you and ignoring him...it has worked with my older two every time and it lets the kid know the words didn't bother them. It takes the punch away from the words the other kid is trying to give.  My son did that once with someone and that person became on of his best friends and changed.  By giving a funny, unexpected response it has always undone what the person was trying to do.  I did tell her if he does't stop to tell a grown up, teacher, bus driver etc.

Quoting NewMom11222011:

I'd advocate what I'm being taught as a parent-active ignoring!  If your child gives the other child no reaction, the verbal abuse will likely stop.  If it still doesn't, then I'd have her tell the nearest adult.


Mom2wife1
by Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Nicely done mom! 

bigmama423
by Liz on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:51 PM
1 mom liked this
I just tell my kids to ignore butt heads. But I tell them to defend themselves as well if anyone touches them.
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Thelmama
by Thelma on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:52 PM

Yes my kids have permission to defend themselves if need be.  Sad thing, today a kid defending themselves gets thrown out of school or off the bus too. That is so sad.

Quoting bigmama423:

I just tell my kids to ignore butt heads. But I tell them to defend themselves as well if anyone touches them.


bigmama423
by Liz on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah, you're right.

I'd rather my kid get into trouble from defending himself, than getting beat up though. It's sad how mean kids can be..


Quoting Thelmama:

Yes my kids have permission to defend themselves if need be.  Sad thing, today a kid defending themselves gets thrown out of school or off the bus too. That is so sad.

Quoting bigmama423:

I just tell my kids to ignore butt heads. But I tell them to defend themselves as well if anyone touches them.


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loveTHEviking
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:42 PM

 Luckily we haven't run into that problem yet but that's very good advice :)!!

sjump25
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:41 PM
2 moms liked this

That was good advice.  I hate how mean kids can be.  I'm glad Jenny didn't take it personally.

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