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It's not their job to raise their little brother or sister, it's yours.

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:01 PM
  • 171 Replies

 

Poll

Question: What is your opinion of older kids helping to take care of their younger brothers and sisters?

Options:

Unnaceptable. You are the parent, not them. Take care of your own children.

I think it's okay for siblings to help out every now and then but not all the time.

I think it's a great idea.It brings family closer together and it teaches kids responsibility.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 202

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This is a spin off of the Older siblings helping younger siblings with academics post.

I have 6 kids in my family. 3 of my own, 13, 8 and 6. Plus a 3yo nephew 2yo neice and 3 month old neice. And I have to say I rely on the older to help with the younger.

Starting when my oldest dd was 5, I had her watching 1 week old brother in his crib while I took a shower. When she was 7 she was rocking baby sister to sleep and now she regulary babysits whenever me and dh go out. 8yo ds helps take 3yo cousin to the bathroom and tutors his 6yo sister with her sight words. 6yo dd changes her 2yo cousins diapers, gets her snacks and "baby sits" while I clean the house.


by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KRIZZ25
by Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:06 PM
2 moms liked this
good..teaching the responsibility and how to get along.
paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Surprisingly there's very little fighting when the kids are being helpers :-)

Quoting KRIZZ25:

good..teaching the responsibility and how to get along.


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marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:10 PM
4 moms liked this
It's your job. It teaches the children that YOU are the caretaker and provider. Not their siblings. It pushes the children to take on problems that aren't theirs. You choose to have kids not them. I have 7 kids and I don't ask any of them to help teach the others or watch them
Every once in a while one of the older ones will ask to take one of the younger ones off for a little while. But they are never expected to watch them. That's wrong.
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paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:20 PM
7 moms liked this

I disagree. I still am the caregiver and provider just not the sole one. Siblings helping each other strengthens family bonds, teaches responsibility and boosts self esteem. My son is proud that he helped his liitle sister read better. My dd is delighted to know she's a big girl and can tie 2yo Leah's shoes. As for my 13yo she just likes the babysiting money.

Having your kids help with the younger ones is not wrong.

Quoting marchantmom06:

It's your job. It teaches the children that YOU are the caretaker and provider. Not their siblings. It pushes the children to take on problems that aren't theirs. You choose to have kids not them. I have 7 kids and I don't ask any of them to help teach the others or watch them
Every once in a while one of the older ones will ask to take one of the younger ones off for a little while. But they are never expected to watch them. That's wrong.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

i.m.r.
by Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:21 PM
1 mom liked this
I can't really say too much, since I only have one child and I am an only child myself, but I think in moderation it's alright. I think by having older siblings help with their younger siblings in a nurturing way it may help them be closer with them and diffuse some of the fighting. If they feel as though they're playing a role in the house that helps mommy and daddy they also get a sense of pride in themselves and it teaches them small amounts of responsibility. I don't think it should be taken advantage of though, since it could develop some resentments to the younger siblings as well. I think it's all about balance and moderation, but I don't see anything wrong with how you're doing it. Especially when it comes to cleaning. Oh my lord how I wish dd had a sibling some days when I'm alone with her and my house looks like a baby bomb went off in it lol.
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paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:30 PM

Did you ever wish for a sibling? And did you plan on you lo being an only? I'm nosey,lol.

But yeah I completely agree. Ds and ds interact much differently when he's teaching her something. He's more patient and mature, he's doing a "job". But once the job is done he's back to being a mean brother,lol.

Quoting i.m.r.:

I can't really say too much, since I only have one child and I am an only child myself, but I think in moderation it's alright. I think by having older siblings help with their younger siblings in a nurturing way it may help them be closer with them and diffuse some of the fighting. If they feel as though they're playing a role in the house that helps mommy and daddy they also get a sense of pride in themselves and it teaches them small amounts of responsibility. I don't think it should be taken advantage of though, since it could develop some resentments to the younger siblings as well. I think it's all about balance and moderation, but I don't see anything wrong with how you're doing it. Especially when it comes to cleaning. Oh my lord how I wish dd had a sibling some days when I'm alone with her and my house looks like a baby bomb went off in it lol.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:32 PM
2 moms liked this
Again its not your children's job to teach and dress and tend to the children you decided to have. They had no part in making their siblings. Did you have more kids knowing you'd be pawning them off on the older one?


Quoting paganbaby:

I disagree. I still am the caregiver and provider just not the sole one. Siblings helping each other strengthens family bonds, teaches responsibility and boosts self esteem. My son is proud that he helped his liitle sister read better. My dd is delighted to know she's a big girl and can tie 2yo Leah's shoes. As for my 13yo she just likes the babysiting money.

Having your kids help with the younger ones is not wrong.

Quoting marchantmom06:

It's your job. It teaches the children that YOU are the caretaker and provider. Not their siblings. It pushes the children to take on problems that aren't theirs. You choose to have kids not them. I have 7 kids and I don't ask any of them to help teach the others or watch them

Every once in a while one of the older ones will ask to take one of the younger ones off for a little while. But they are never expected to watch them. That's wrong.



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i.m.r.
by Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:41 PM
I didn't really miss a sibling because I didn't have much interraction with kids who had siblings, so I never really thought I was missing out. Plus one of my good friends to this day I have known for 20+ years now, and she was pretty much my sister growing up. She lived next door and we saw each other everyday. The good part was that when we got sick of one another we could just go back to our respective houses. And yes, dd will be an only child as well. Df and I were under the impression he was infertile, and we were using birth control (never can be too careful lol). Anyway, we were fine with being that couple who never had kids, then I found out I was pregnant lol. Anyway, long story short we love dd, I wouldn't change my life with her for anything, but one is definitely enough for us. We live on a modest amount of money, we don't have a vehicle, and we both must work in order to survive, so having another child would be incredibly selfish and unfair to our current child since out living standard would plummet even lower.

Quoting paganbaby:

I disagree. I still am the caregiver and provider just not the sole one. Siblings helping each other strengthens family bonds, teaches responsibility and boosts self esteem. My son is proud that he helped his liitle sister read better. My dd is delighted to know she's a big girl and can tie 2yo Leah's shoes. As for my 13yo she just likes the babysiting money.

Having your kids help with the younger ones is not wrong.

Quoting marchantmom06:

It's your job. It teaches the children that YOU are the caretaker and provider. Not their siblings. It pushes the children to take on problems that aren't theirs. You choose to have kids not them. I have 7 kids and I don't ask any of them to help teach the others or watch them

Every once in a while one of the older ones will ask to take one of the younger ones off for a little while. But they are never expected to watch them. That's wrong.


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Kris_PBG
by Representative on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:42 PM
My kids choose to help each other. They enjoy it when they choose to do it.
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calsmom62
by Bronze Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:52 PM
1 mom liked this
I voted #3 but also think there is a line BTW appropriate and excessive. While my older ones helped out I also made sure they had the bulk of their time to spend as kids, not sitters.
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