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Help please! What do I put on the birth certificate? *Edit

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 5:18 PM
  • 42 Replies
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I'm 19 years old, 31 weeks pregnant, the father is denying that he's the father (even though he is my first), and I don't know where to go from here.

What do I put on the birth certificate?

And if he chooses to have nothing to do with the life of my son, when I do get married some day, will I have to seek my son's biological father out to be able to have my husband adopt my son?

*Edit: Biodad is 18 years old, never graduated from HS, doesn't have his GED, doesn't have a job, and has issues with weedd/alcoholl.

I have great family support. Infact, practically all the stuff I have right now for my son was either given to me by a friend or was purchased for me. So far, the only things I will have to pay for are diapers and formula, and formula would only be if breastfeeding doesn't work out for me.

by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 5:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
proudmom169
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 5:22 PM
If he refuses to sign a declaration of paternity you leave it blank and he will have no legal access to your child
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paganmommy4
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 6:41 PM

you leave the father part blank and tell no one that he's the father not even the hospital. If he wants to be put on the birth certificate later he needs to sign an acknowledgement of paternity. For step parent adoptions, a process of putative father registry must be done ( google it) and then go from there. In order to avoid this process he must not be involved in your childs life for one year ( abandonment)

JTnJT
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:05 PM

You of course can do whatever you see fit....but I would suggest putting your name of the BC...if at some point down the road...bio dad....wants the child to have his last name....the BC can be changed....just going off my own situation....when I had my ODD....DH and I were not married....so there was no question in my mind that she was going to have my last name.   Then when DH and I married....I had his name put on her BC...(had to do a DNA....as the state she was born in....the only way you can put a name on the BC that is not the Bio parent...is if you are married....then you can put DH name on BC even if child is not his.   Anyway....once we were married....we did the DNA and then had DH name put on th BC....it cost us about $400 total to have it done.  (But that is because we didn't have to pay for the DNA....doing so would have added about another $400 to $500 to that amount.)

Mamazee73
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:23 PM

If you put his name on the birth certificate, he has the responsibility to pay child support, but he also has the right to try to get custody.  If you do not want him involved in your child's life, don't put him on the BC....

five2many74
by New Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:34 PM
Are they now putting the fathers name without them being there? I knew who my kids father was. .I gave them my last name and his so they would know where they came from. . The fathers name isn't on the birth certificate but they know where they came from. .
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Zazayam
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:40 PM

If you're comfortable getting nothing from him and letting him walk away, leave it blank. If he decides he wants to show back up at some random time he'll have to take the paternity test to get any sort of rights with your child. And your future husband could more easily adopt the baby, when it comes to that.

If you have plans on getting child support or anything like that, put his name.

I would personally leave it blank, if he's already acting like that before the baby's even here I don't see much chance of him suddenly becoming a daddy after the baby's born. Good luck to you and your little one, hope you know you don't need the guy. :)

CampClan
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:11 PM
From personal experience- I have an almost 17yo DS. I did not put his biodad's name on the bc. I got married when he was 3 to another man. When DS was 7 we had his last name legally changed to my married name. We had to petition the courts, put an ad in a local paper (even though biodad lives out of state), notify biodad via certified & regular mail, & if he did not reply by the court date the courts looked at it as he didn't care. That happened (he didn't respond) & there was an amendment to DS's bc which was just a signed & sealed court document stating judge approved name change. DS's original bc did not get biodad's name or H's name on it. To this day it is still blank where father's info should be.

But keep in mind I was getting child support (since DS was 3) & we had to do a DNA test due to him living out of state. I am not sure but if you were to petition the courts for a legal name change you may have to notify all possible fathers. Not saying I don't believe you about him being your first just want to warn you- it might require a notice in the papers for "John Doe". I know Childrens' Services required this when notifying potential or unknown fathers of minors being adopted (I use to work there so I had to write up these notices for the papers).
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RetiredUSAFWife
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:26 PM

Put your own name on the childs birth certificate, that way, (Even if the father stays involved), He would have a harder time trying to take the child away from you. Do not put the fathers name on there at all. If for some reason you reunite, and get married some day, perhaps then you can have the child's name changed to his fathers name.
Yes I believe you will have to get in touch with the father of the child, if you want another man to adopt him/her. Why? Well we adopted one of our grandchildren, and had every intention of adopting the oldest one too. We found out quickly that the father has to be notified. (If your "boyfriend") is refusing to admit that he is the father, make him get a Paternity test done so you'll know for sure he is the father. Good luck.

lisahappymom
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:54 PM

There's nothing wrong with giving a child your last name.  Then get a paternity test after the baby arrives.  If he's the father, he'll have to pay child support whether the baby has his last name or not. 

Just as another thought, if he's denying paternity, do you really want his name associated with your baby?

USM0MMY
by Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 11:39 AM

When I first found out that I was pregnant, we weren't together, but I knew he was the father, so I was debating on what my child's last name would be. Now that he has pulled all of these stunts, I have made the decision that my son is going to have my last name. 


Quoting lisahappymom:

There's nothing wrong with giving a child your last name.  Then get a paternity test after the baby arrives.  If he's the father, he'll have to pay child support whether the baby has his last name or not. 

Just as another thought, if he's denying paternity, do you really want his name associated with your baby?


 

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