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husband lying

Posted by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 12:02 AM
  • 17 Replies
Im 8 1/2 months into my second pregnancy. My husband and i were both smokers. I quit when i saw a positive test. I have not smoked diring either pregnancy. Husband promised to do the same. Result: he left me during active labor to have one during my first pregnancy. Second time around. Result: had a cigar just tonight! During both pregnancies he would say hehad stopped, and then would constantlybe gone on random errands, come back smelling and then lie to me when i asked him point blanke. I told him this time: i trust you to quit... just dont lie. Tonight he leaves, comes back smelling and i say "did you smoke?" He said "no" i pushed it further he denied it. Then i looked at him and said " this is one of those golden opportunities to tell me the truth" he then admited it. When i sighed in frustration he got mad at me for being upset. Hes in bed now, wont talk to me because he works in the morning and its too late. Why am i being punished when he is the one who is betraying me? For the second time!
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by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 12:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Mar. 13, 2013 at 12:14 AM

I quit 27 years ago, my husband still hasn't. Drives me NUTS. No advice but good luck, the more times he tries to quit supposedly the better chance of success. Please don't you start up again, those things will kill you.

PurpleHazey
by Angie on Mar. 13, 2013 at 10:08 AM

I guess I would call that a good lie!

PurpleHazey
by Angie on Mar. 13, 2013 at 10:09 AM



Quoting Lindalou907:

I quit 27 years ago, my husband still hasn't. Drives me NUTS. No advice but good luck, the more times he tries to quit supposedly the better chance of success. Please don't you start up again, those things will kill you.


Good for you!

WatchmansMoon
by New Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 12:25 PM

Sorry to hear this is so stressful to you and your husband.  Do you think his nicotine addiction is overpowering his desire to be truthful to you?  He may hate lying to you as much as you hate being lied to.  Has he pursued getting help quitting?

cherylam
by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 12:31 PM
3 moms liked this

I quit almost 6 years ago, and hubby has never smoked so we don't have that issue.  But if I'm out in public and someone is smoking I stand close and inhale the smoke, lol.  Cut the guy some slack for a few days, then tell him that nothing destroys trust like lying.  If he's smoking, at least be honest about it.  I can tell you that pushing someone to quit smoking is like trying to teach a pig to dance.... it makes you angry and frustrates the pig.  He will quit when he wants to, not when you want him to.  The big thing to get past is the lying... that's never good.

bigmama423
by Liz on Mar. 14, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Sorry I've got nothing...I can smoke then quit with no problems, I think cigs are stinky and gross though. I hope your hubby can get some help quitting and you continue to stay smoke free...good luck!
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Kris_PBG
by Representative on Mar. 14, 2013 at 6:32 PM
It is a serious addiction for some... I wish you both the best of luck!
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Bonneata
by Bronze Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 6:39 PM

Good luck on that one! I quite for most of my pregnancy but it didn't stick. My hubby is a smoker and smelling his cigarettes makes it had not to cave in. I am still smoking at bedtime other wise the craving keeps me so awake at night. Maybe you can make a deal that he starts by cutting back then quitting ? 

CharlotteRose
by Bronze Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 7:22 PM
1 mom liked this

he is the one who lied and he is the one who is upset?  i think he needs to be kissing your ass and asking for forgiveness, don't care how small a lie is - its a lie....

mers-mom
by Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 1:40 AM
Thats the response i was going for! Thank you! I gave him 9 mon. Of my first pregnancy to quit, and now im scheduled to be induced in less than three weeks and he didnt even try the gum or patch. I was silent even though smelling it made me weak! Until about my 7 mon. Then i started questioning him... saying no when he wannted to have one right outside the car with dd and i if we went shopping. Ive simply had enough... understandable... right?
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