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Drinking Alcohol (A Lot) in Early Pregnancy: Thinking about terminating

Posted by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:02 AM
  • 77 Replies

I have never posted in an online board before, but I feel pretty desperate and am hoping that I can get some advice or support.

I am in my late 20s, with a marriage that has its ups and downs and a stressful job.  I drink on an almost nightly basis, although I'm not drinking to get drunk.  It is more like a drink or two, maybe three if it was a bad day.  But it is almost every day.  And on the weekends, I go out and party and drink a lot (I mean a lot).  

About a month or so ago, I went out drinking and went all out.  I must have had the equivalent of 12-15 drinks. I was drunk but not throwing up or passing out.  

I found out a few days later that I was pregnant.  The doctor believes that conceived about 2 weeks and few days before the binge drinking night, and so my baby-to-be was exposed to booze for most of that time, and a LOT of booze on one night, right before I found out.

I stopped drinking when I found out, but the doctor says that there is no way to tell what the extent of the damage is at this point.  

I have been going back and forth and back and forth.  I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning, to terminate the pregnancy.  I don't know if I can live with the risks of the drinking.

My husband is very opposed to abortion, and i would have to do the procedure on my own and tell him that it was a miscarriage.  I do not know if he will believe me or not, but I feel like I have my back against the wall.

by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
true-love-21
by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:07 AM
2 moms liked this
Honestly. I would be praying to God lol. I wouldn't get an abortion bc what if Its still ok? It hasn't even begun to develop yet. Start taking prenatal vitamins and hope for the best. God has blessed u with this baby, please don't kill it.
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nonnarae
by Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:12 AM
I don't know sweety but I wish you the best!
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BettyBettyS
by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 10:19 AM

Thank you!  I just feel so overwhelmed, like no one is really thinking about how all of this impacts me.  The situation feels hopeless.


Quoting nonnarae:

I don't know sweety but I wish you the best!



EireLass
by Bronze Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 10:25 AM

Whichever you choose is the right choice for you. You can try to talk medically/scientifically to your husband to make him understand the possibility of something being wrong with the baby. But I can tell you, there are ALOT of women who drink through their entire pregnancy and nothing is wrong with the baby.

kanake
by Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 10:50 AM

There have been a lot worse things that moms have done while pregnant and the baby did well. Your baby still has a lot of growing and developing to do. The human body is amazingly strong. If you stopped drinking then (I think)you are already in love with your baby. Hang in there,you can do it.

BettyBettyS
by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 10:53 AM

I stopped drinking when I found out because it was the right thing to do.  Honestly, I feel like I was starting to slide down toward a full on drinking problem and had thought about quitting or cutting back on the drinking before the pregnancy.

I felt like I should stop drinking when I found out I was pregnant because I did not know what to do, and it  made no sense to make the problem worse by drinking.  To be honest, I don't know how I feel about the baby.  I don't really think about the fetus as a baby at this point.  

If it weren't for my heavy drinking, I would not be considering an abortion.  But the potential for alcohol related birth defects is so tangible, I just don't think I can do this.


Quoting kanake:

There have been a lot worse things that moms have done while pregnant and the baby did well. Your baby still has a lot of growing and developing to do. The human body is amazingly strong. If you stopped drinking then (I think)you are already in love with your baby. Hang in there,you can do it.



kanake
by Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 11:01 AM
1 mom liked this

I know its not the same, But when I was pregnant with my son I was near unto death. I was horribly sick and and people thought I had a mental illness.I wanted to have a child more than anything in the world ,but there were times I thought of terminating, beause I didn't want to be sick anymore.(I ended up with a pulmonary embolism) when somebody finally believed I wasn't mentally ill.I believe in you and though I don't know exactly what you are going through, I am here to listen if you want to talk.I cant tell you what's right for you,but I hope you'll consider all of your options.

Quoting BettyBettyS:

I stopped drinking when I found out because it was the right thing to do.  Honestly, I feel like I was starting to slide down toward a full on drinking problem and had thought about quitting or cutting back on the drinking before the pregnancy.

I felt like I should stop drinking when I found out I was pregnant because I did not know what to do, and it  made no sense to make the problem worse by drinking.  To be honest, I don't know how I feel about the baby.  I don't really think about the fetus as a baby at this point.  

If it weren't for my heavy drinking, I would not be considering an abortion.  But the potential for alcohol related birth defects is so tangible, I just don't think I can do this.


Quoting kanake:

There have been a lot worse things that moms have done while pregnant and the baby did well. Your baby still has a lot of growing and developing to do. The human body is amazingly strong. If you stopped drinking then (I think)you are already in love with your baby. Hang in there,you can do it.




BettyBettyS
by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 11:05 AM
1 mom liked this

I am sorry that you were sick during your pregnancy.  I have struggled with feeling exhausted, having a cold and cough that I cannot shake, and feeling nauseous so much of the time.  

I know you cannot tell me what is right for me, but I do appreciate that you are listening to what I have to say.  I feel like my husband does not want to listen, that he thinks we should have the baby no matter what.

We're in our late 20s and we still have time to have kids.  I keep thinking that if I have an abortion now, we could try again, and I would not drink anymore.  Then, there would be no risk of fetal alcohol birth defects.  Wouldn't that be better than where we are now?  I am just so scared all the time.


Quoting kanake:

I know its not the same, But when I was pregnant with my son I was near unto death. I was horribly sick and and people thought I had a mental illness.I wanted to have a child more than anything in the world ,but there were times I thought of terminating, beause I didn't want to be sick anymore.(I ended up with a pulmonary embolism) when somebody finally believed I wasn't mentally ill.I believe in you and though I don't know exactly what you are going through, I am here to listen if you want to talk.I cant tell you what's right for you,but I hope you'll consider all of your options.

Quoting BettyBettyS:

I stopped drinking when I found out because it was the right thing to do.  Honestly, I feel like I was starting to slide down toward a full on drinking problem and had thought about quitting or cutting back on the drinking before the pregnancy.

I felt like I should stop drinking when I found out I was pregnant because I did not know what to do, and it  made no sense to make the problem worse by drinking.  To be honest, I don't know how I feel about the baby.  I don't really think about the fetus as a baby at this point.  

If it weren't for my heavy drinking, I would not be considering an abortion.  But the potential for alcohol related birth defects is so tangible, I just don't think I can do this.


Quoting kanake:

There have been a lot worse things that moms have done while pregnant and the baby did well. Your baby still has a lot of growing and developing to do. The human body is amazingly strong. If you stopped drinking then (I think)you are already in love with your baby. Hang in there,you can do it.






StepDucky
by Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this

If I were you I would start taking prenatal vitamins, start taking care of yourself better, and not abort the baby. I know it's scary, but if you were 2 weeks pregnant at the time of the heavy drinking (considering that the 2 weeks before you even ovulate) the baby shouldn't have been hurt badly by it. You're not drinking now, so it sounds like to care about the baby. :hugs: whatever decision you make, I don't think it would be very nice to keep your husband out of the loop.... It's not fair to him. That right there would be hard to bounce back from and could most likely end your marriage.

kanake
by Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 11:07 AM
2 moms liked this

hi, I don't mean to take over your post, but I found this website and I think it might help you. http://www.babycenter.com/400_alcohol-use-early-in-pregnancy_970348_296.bc

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