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ok posted in other groups but no response...maybe its because i havent been on here in forever...just need advice

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So I have a 7 year old daughter and my SO has a 17 year old daughter. She lives with her mom in CA and we have mine at home full time pretty much. her dad see her about 2 times a week . We have been together for over two years and are planning to get married this fall. His daughter is planning on moving in here in with us after she graduates hs and is going to college here in Vegas. Here is the problem.... I love her like my own dont get me wrong..but she thinks she is ENTITLED to everything! We pay child support and alimony, and are planning on paying for college too. We arent rich by anymeans, but have a very comforatble life. Both me and So work full time. We just bought a new house in OCT and we love it. My youngest goes to private school,and SO just bought me a brand new car.( im not bragging witherjust trying to give u a prespective) The 17 year old has never had a job dosent want to get one and , dosent get good grades. She only calls when she needs something ( prom dress, vacation money, shoes etc) She was here visiting last week and I took her shopping for her prom dress, paid for a flight home etc. She then drove my car and had the nerve to tell me that she better be getting one just like it when she moves here for school ! I about crashed it! lol I guess what I am asking is how do I get this child to wake up and be a productive member of THIS family??? I dont want to cause problems with me and SO and it just seems like she appreciates nothing we do for her. ( on a side note her mother gets 3800 a month in alimony and child support from us and pays for nothing!) when is enough enough???? Thanks for listening ...damn i feel better already

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:52 PM
Replies (21-22):
jessesbride
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 8:38 PM

Kids that have an entitlement issue have been taught they can ask/ demand whatever they want & mostly get what they want.  Trick is to deprogram her. Like when she said that, you should've said something along the lines of "we'll when you get a job & save money for a car of your own, I'm sure you will get one you like ...once you can afford it, honey."  Having to backtrack a bit with mine :( so just know it'll be rough going! AND make sure you & SOON TO BE DH have the same thought patterns... Otherwise, you are going to want to run screaming from your marriage!

EarlGrayHot
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:07 AM

Time to change that.  Her mom needs to chip in and right now.  Her dad needs to sit her down and tell her this is not going to go according to her wishes.  She spounds like an ungrateful child and her dad is the one to straighten her out.

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