It's been a while since I've been on here. My father hasn't been doing well the last several weeks. He went to the doc yesterday morning. Well I found out that he was sent and admitted into the hospital for very high blood pressure and he was dehydrated. They did an MRI. Then today they did a bone scan and echo. Got the results later this evening from the MRI that showed he had fluid and a large mass in his lungs, and fluid all around his spine. Well I go see him later during the day when I got back in town. (I was 2 hours away from home during all of this) I get out of the shower to hear my phone going off. I grad it to see 4 missed calls from my sister. I call her back, still in my towel, to hear her trembling voice on the line saying "it's bad....It's REALLY bad." The doctor had come in and told her that the cancer has spread all over his body, in his bones, and in his spine. It has spread way too much.
My daddy has requested a DNR. The doc told my sis that even if they did try to resesitate him, it would shatter his ribs. I am totally numb all over. I don't know what to do or what to feel. I'm terrified! I'm losing my DADDY. I'm angry! I'm angry with him and myself. I'm angry for him being stubborn and not getting medical attention when he needed it insurance or not. I'm even more angry with myself for not saying anything or trying to get him to see a doctor when he had this very terrible sounding cough over the holidays that sounded worse than pneumonia! Why didn't I speak up and say anything?! If I had, maybe he could've had a fighting chance months ago! i need my dad. I can't lose him yet. He has 5 beautiful grandchildren he has to watch grow up! He has to be there for them! My 4 year old son who has epilepsy and is autistic is especially close to him! How do I tell my little boy that dreadfully soon, he won't get to see his Pappy anymore? How do I tell my 10 and 7 year old daughters?! My youngest is almost 2 years old! He won't remember his pappy! I can't deal with this!
I need lots of prayers please! Dear Lord Jesus, PLEASE give us a miracle! Heal my father, get rid of the cancer and heal him. Please let my daddy live. We all need him! In Jesus name!
UPDATE: Thought I should update here rather than in the comments! I keep getting more posts about how I should spend as much quality time as possible with my father. Well I can only do that in spirit now, as he sadly passed away on April 26th 2013. :( I appreciate all the kind words everyone has shared with me, but thought I would update, since it is a little hard seeing these sort of posts after my father's passing date :( Thank you all again for your support!