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Got the worst news ever tonight (UPDATED IN RED!)

Posted by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:59 AM
  • 79 Replies

It's been a while since I've been on here.  My father hasn't been doing well the last several weeks.  He went to the doc yesterday morning.  Well I found out that he was sent and admitted into the hospital for very high blood pressure and he was dehydrated.  They did an MRI.  Then today they did a bone scan and echo.  Got the results later this evening from the MRI that showed he had fluid and a large mass in his lungs, and fluid all around his spine.  Well I go see him later during the day when I got back in town.  (I was 2 hours away from home during all of this) I get out of the shower to hear my phone going off.  I grad it to see 4 missed calls from my sister.  I call her back, still in my towel, to hear her trembling voice on the line saying "it's bad....It's REALLY bad."  The doctor had come in and told her that the cancer has spread all over his body, in his bones, and in his spine.  It has spread way too much.  

My daddy has requested a DNR.  The doc told my sis that even if they did try to resesitate him, it would shatter his ribs.  I am totally numb all over.  I don't know what to do or what to feel.  I'm terrified!  I'm losing my DADDY.  I'm angry!  I'm angry with him and myself.  I'm angry for him being stubborn and not getting medical attention when he needed it insurance or not.  I'm even more angry with myself for not saying anything or trying to get him to see a doctor when he had this very terrible sounding cough over the holidays that sounded worse than pneumonia!  Why didn't I speak up and say anything?!  If I had, maybe he could've had a fighting chance months ago!  i need my dad.  I can't lose him yet.  He has 5 beautiful grandchildren he has to watch grow up!  He has to be there for them!  My 4 year old son who has epilepsy and is autistic is especially close to him!  How do I tell my little boy that dreadfully soon, he won't get to see his Pappy anymore?  How do I tell my 10 and 7 year old daughters?!  My youngest is almost 2 years old!  He won't remember his pappy!  I can't deal with this!

I need lots of prayers please!  Dear Lord Jesus, PLEASE give us a miracle!  Heal my father, get rid of the cancer and heal him.  Please let my daddy live.  We all need him! In Jesus name!

UPDATE:  Thought I should update here rather than in the comments!  I keep getting more posts about how I should spend as much quality time as possible with my father.  Well I can only do that in spirit now, as he sadly passed away on April 26th 2013. :(  I appreciate all the kind words everyone has shared with me, but thought I would update, since it is a little hard seeing these sort of posts after my father's passing date :(  Thank you all again for your support!   

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:59 AM
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by Sherry on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:04 AM
5 moms liked this

Sweetheart, I know you want a miracle but I sincerely doubt you are going to get it.

You need to start with spending as much time as possible with him. Let your children know that he is very very sick and answer the questions they ask as gently and honestly as possible. 

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. My prayers are with you and your father, especially that he doesn't suffer any. Hugs to you. 

by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:47 AM
2 moms liked this

I'm so sorry honey, you have been blessed with a wonderful Dad and grandfather for your kids. Spend as much time as you can with him.

by Representative on Apr. 4, 2013 at 6:35 AM
I am so sorry you got this news and that your dad is so sick. I lost my dad 12 years ago to cancer when he was still very young... Spend as much time as you can with him now... You are going to feel a range of feelings, but based on what you are saying, I doubt there would have been much more they could have done for him even if you got him to go over the holidays.
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by Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 9:57 AM

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in and I pray that you get that miracle, but sometimes they don't happen.  I prayed for the same miracle 5 yrs ago when my mom was diagnosed the second time with colon cancer.  We never got our miracle and I miss her so much everyday.  I try to look at it as God felt he needed my mom more than we did so he took her home. 

No matter what anyone tells you, you are still going to go through the hurt and pain of losing a loved one.  I wish with all my heart that miracle will happen for you.

Cafe AmyS
by Platinum Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

im sorry  My thoughts are with you all.

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:00 PM

Please be comforted just a little by the fact that if the cancer has already spread so far your pushing him to go to the doctor at Christmas wouldn't have altered the course of his illness at that point.  I recently lost my dear husband with whom I had been for over 40 years, to cancer, a terrible illness that appears to run in his family despite the fact that he's had major surgery and was undergoing chemo when it returned.  I will never be at peace with his passing, leaving a beautiful daughter who shared his birthday and with whom he was so very close.  Our daughter has not yet married so he never got to walk her down the isle or see his grandchildren and you're fortunate that your dad did get to see those things come to pass.   I can only be greatful that she was able to work from home this semseter to help with his care and was able to be with us when he passed, quickly and without suffering.  I guess maybe God needed a great gardner.  Good luck to you and your dad.  I really feel for you.

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:16 PM

Hugs. I'll pray that you are able to be comforted. 

by Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:25 PM

It is hard to lose someone you love to cancer, it is slow and painful (in different ways) to all parties involved. I lost an an aunt and my MIL to it. My mom and my oldest DD are currently fighters. My heart goes out to you and your family and prayers that your father does not suffer due o his battle.

by Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:28 PM
I am so sorry to hear this. Know what cancer can do lost a lot of my family to it. Much love and support for you and your family. Big hug Deannie
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by Angie on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:56 PM

I am so sorry and you have my prayers

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