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social anxiety got the better of me

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:55 PM
  • 12 Replies
Wr have a two 1/2 year old, and ijust had our second two 1/2 weeks ago. I felt alittle pressure from husband to go to a work dinner at our community y tonight. I didnt feel ready to be around people... its been a really tough transition for me. Im not handling our two year olds energy level and naughty behavior very well. We did go. And even though i recently left the school system to become sahm, and we knew everyone there... only one person came and said congrstulations. Is it too prideful of me to not want to tour the room with my newborn seeking out attention and congrats? I used to be a social butterfly but my husband has social anxiety, and after 6 years of turning down engagements, losing friendships because no friends our age had kids, and becoming serious shut ins... i cant even get him to eat out, hed rather deliver. Ive become socially inept myself. Im really embsrrassed sctually. Noone enhaged us in conversation for like an hour and 1/2. And by the time my husband ventured over to start one himself i was embarrassed enough i just clamed up and i packed us up to leave. How do i break out of my shell again. Id like to start new friendships with people i dont know. No expectations, no reputations. How do i do that? I think i just want to break free from my small community... its not full of the nicest people.
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by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
calsmom62
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd focus a bit on getting settled with a brand new baby and the changes in your 2 yr old might be experiencing first. Lookfor a new moms group or mothers of preschoolers(MOPS) and try it out for a meeting or two, or a stroller exercise group. And congratulations in the new baby!!!
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mers-mom
by Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:32 PM
Thank you. I really feel like my husband just rushed me alittle. I dont really enjoy that group of peopleso im always on the defensive. I wouls do much better in small one on one situations.
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bigmama423
by Liz on Apr. 19, 2013 at 11:13 PM

I think this is good advice...

Quoting calsmom62:

I'd focus a bit on getting settled with a brand new baby and the changes in your 2 yr old might be experiencing first. Lookfor a new moms group or mothers of preschoolers(MOPS) and try it out for a meeting or two, or a stroller exercise group. And congratulations in the new baby!!!


Congrats on the new baby!! I know it always took time for me to adjust as well, those first couple of weeks aren't the greatest!!! :)

Bmama1
by Bernadette on Apr. 20, 2013 at 10:44 AM
I also agree with this. Good luck. :-)

Quoting calsmom62:

I'd focus a bit on getting settled with a brand new baby and the changes in your 2 yr old might be experiencing first. Lookfor a new moms group or mothers of preschoolers(MOPS) and try it out for a meeting or two, or a stroller exercise group. And congratulations in the new baby!!!
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hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Apr. 20, 2013 at 1:05 PM

I don't know but would like to know too.  I have major social anxiety.  congrats on the new baby

calsmom62
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 1:22 PM
Having a baby and a toddler is really all consuming, esp at first. give it time, and when you do start looking to meet people, relax, and be yourself. Don't worry that every one is judging you....they aren't anymore than you are judging them.


Quoting mers-mom:

Thank you. I really feel like my husband just rushed me alittle. I dont really enjoy that group of peopleso im always on the defensive. I wouls do much better in small one on one situations.

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nurse1997
by Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 1:23 PM

Congrats ,momma first lifes to short to be around people you really dont like so dont bother gentley get back in the swing of things and just do a little bit more when it comes to getting out more as the months go bye !!

CharlotteRose
by Charlotte on Apr. 20, 2013 at 2:15 PM

I would start small like a mommy and me class and go from there, baby steps - you can do it you just have to find faith in yourself, like you said you were once a social butterfly and im sure that person is still inside of you but you are the only one that can find the "old" self.....GL and hugs!

LML1
by Kristy on Apr. 20, 2013 at 3:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 Be you, don't change who you are or stop chasing dreams just because of what others think. Many sahm's go through this unfortunately... Only advice to give right now is; take care of the kiddo's and try to keep sane : ) During the summer go for walks, parks, and little trips out. People will respect you if you keep your chin up (smiling is inviting and looking down and away could be insulting to someone who may want to approach you) and be yourself. It may take time...

calsmom62
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:48 PM
This


Quoting LML1:

 Be you, don't change who you are or stop chasing dreams just because of what others think. Many sahm's go through this unfortunately... Only advice to give right now is; take care of the kiddo's and try to keep sane : ) During the summer go for walks, parks, and little trips out. People will respect you if you keep your chin up (smiling is inviting and looking down and away could be insulting to someone who may want to approach you) and be yourself. It may take time...


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