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how would your husband have reacted?

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:16 PM
  • 136 Replies
Im building a brick garden border... and found someome who would give me 40 bricks free. Its 10:00am on sunday and im on my way home from grocery shopping with daughter. Husband watching tv at home. My mom calls and says (name) has 40 bricks but theyre leaving for the day and she told them we could probably go get them now. My mom asks"do you need me to come watch your girls?" I said yeah that would be great. Mom said "you need to call her right back" i ran home and said to husband "we can go get bricks. But theyre leaving in half hour so we have to go now. My mom is coming to watch the girls." Husband sits up and raises voice to say "what!? NO!" He goes off about how ive just planned his entire morning, and hes sick of putting his projects off for my stupid stuff. I said (pissily) ill come back when youre talking alittle nicer. He continued to complain i could hear him in the other room. My mom came and we left. We get in the car and hes livid that i didnt ask him first. I said i wasnt going to join this fight and he says " youd better say something cause im pissed" so i let him have it ( he asked for it) i said ive had enough of this fing tantrum. Youre acting like a child. (He asked me a long time ago in our relatiomship to always ask him before making plans which i have) but i said " there are times when i have to make decisions, and as my husband i expect you to help me." It took us all of 20 min. To do this errand and bet home. After his tantrum about how he never has time for his projects, he fell asleep at 11:00 and i woke him up at 4:00 to grill supper. I spent the entire dayspring cleaning our yard like he should have done, taking care of both girls and doing my own projects. We had a raging fight about it today. Hes mad about how i talked to him in the car, that i didnt ask him first, and he says i dont respect him. I say i deserve a husband who is willing to help me with errands. ( he drops me in a split second anytime anyone outside ourhome wants his help) i told him that normal couples spend their weekends running errands getting things done, and im not going to live my life around the things he "feels" like doing. What does cafemom think?
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jessi2girls
by Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:19 PM
6 moms liked this

I think your marrage is selfish on both ends. 

mers-mom
by Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:26 PM
Looking for honest opinions here... i have a tendency to expect too much sometimes... go ahead jessi2girls and expain.


Quoting jessi2girls:

I think your marrage is selfish on both ends. 


mers-mom
by Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:18 AM
Noone has an opinion? Damnit... i needed alittle back up tonight, not sure how to handle this one. My expectation was to hear ppl say... " my husband would have willingly gone"
jessi2girls
by Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:25 AM
4 moms liked this

Reread what you've written..

first, you made a deal with hubby that you'd talk to him first before jumping into something.. broke that deal.. 

bicker about it.

complain that you think he's lazy and that gives you a right to break the deal..

he's mad because you broke the deal and doesn't give a shit how petty of a thing it's over, he wanted to relax..

and I'm sure there are things in the past that can be brought up, like why the deal was there to begin with.. or why this likely isn't the first time he's been lazy like this..

it's back and forth, and neither one of you have really though about the other person in this situation unless it's negatively..

not healthy. it's selfish. 


Quoting mers-mom:

Looking for honest opinions here... i have a tendency to expect too much sometimes... go ahead jessi2girls and expain.


Quoting jessi2girls:

I think your marrage is selfish on both ends. 



ButterflyMom194
by Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:32 AM
9 moms liked this
I think he's sorry for telling you to ask permission. You are not his child you are his wife!! My husband would've been grateful that somebody is willing to give us bricks!! That's less money we'd have to pay.
bigmama423
by Liz on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:33 AM
1 mom liked this

He sounds like he might be MENstruating! ;)

My husband is very mellow, if things come up, he doesn't mind. We do lots of errands and family things on the weekends. If we have major plans or something that will take some time I try to give him a heads up before though. But for something petty like you described, he wouldn't care to know ahead of time..


Bmama1
by Bernadette on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:39 AM
2 moms liked this
My husband would have understood since it was a last minute thing and it HAD to be done now. If I had planned something else without running it by him, though, he would have been irritated.
Hello07
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 5:02 AM
2 moms liked this
My husband would have never slept all day leaving me with the kids and yard work.

You have to ask your husband or permission I make plans?? That's interesting
sjump25
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:35 AM
2 moms liked this

That is not the dynamic of my marriage.  My husband would have gone without complaining and would have probably been happy to have something to do rather than sit around all day.  

EireLass
by Bronze Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:38 AM
16 moms liked this

You're an adult, and it was your project. You could have just left the girls with him and gone to get the bricks yourself.

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