I didn't. I told them to follow their hearts. I also told them that if they want to attend college, they better get good grades to get scholarships.
At 18 they can live at home if the either have a job or are attending college.
My daughter is now 18. She graduates May 31. She wants to be a doctor and she got four scholarships and several grants. She does need help with books as she is going to an excellent private school that is very expensive. That I don't mind helping her with as long as I can see her report cards and she is open and honest when things get tough so I can help her.
My son is 14, he wants to join the military. He's thinking about attending a Military Academy to finish out his schooling. He has no desire to go to college at this point but does keep his grade high so if he decides to go to college he can get a scholarship.
My idea was that when I was a kid, my parents told me I had to go to college. They preached it so much, they expected it, and they saved for it. Know what I did, went and got a job as a Stripper, did drugs and drank myself stupid. I finally started college five years ago and will graduate this summer, but telling me what is expected of me has never gotten anyone anywhere. I decided to try a different approach with my kids.
Oh and another thing, when they have had a less than desirable grade, I've never grounded them or yelled at them. I scheduled a parent teacher conference with the child and we discussed what was happening, I also paid out the ass for tutoring for my son. Grades have never been a way to get into trouble. Everything about education in my house is positively reinforced.
I have 4 kids all adults now. Both boys looked at communiy colleges but decided not to go.. The oldest son decided to go in the Marines for 4 yrs then switched to the Army on 2nd enlistment. My youger son went to the police academy. Now is in the Army.
My oldest daughter graduated in December with a 4 yr college degree in 31/2 yrs. My younger daughter is just finishing her sophmore year in college. Both our girls will have some students loans. But we paid for most of it. They both worked jobs to help pay for books and there spending money. They work about 20 yrs a week during the school year. They work more hours during the summer.
I will teach my children how to apply for scholarships and such and then of course supplement whatever else is needed. I will always encourage my children to get a college education because i definitely see the benefit of it. I think college is a good place to explore your interests and decide what they want to do with the rest of their adult lives. I will of course love and support anything they choose. I just want my kids to have a better life then i do.
The costs of college is sky rocketing at a very scary rate.
My kiddos are young. I can't even fathom the cost of them going when it is their time.
We talk about it in regards to all positives and it is simply discussed as the expectation. Just like after elementary, you go to middle school, after middle school, high school, etc...
That is how it was in my home and both my sister and I went to college without a second thought. Dh's family was different.. He was the only one in his family to go and he will flat out say he only went to continue playing his sport that he loved. When I met him, he was a few courses shy of his bachelors. I gave him a loving kick in the ass and told him he could do this with no issue - and he did. Now he has his masters degree as well. (I do as well - we took turns getting ours once we got married).
He will openly say that had the expectation been set in his family to attend college, he was would have been much more likely to believe he could do it and succeed...
Ds1 has his college pre-paid. We are in the process of pre-paying ds2's.
Dh and I are still paying off his bachelors/masters and my masters. We don't want our kids to be under that kind of pressure when they are older... The bachlors will be on us - after that - it is on them! LOL!
My oldest was lucky, my parents had a college plan for him. The other kids will have to work their tushes off, earn scholarships, etc, if they want to attend college.
Honestly, my husband and I haven't really talked about it. We both went into the military because our parents could not afford to pay for our schooling and then took it ourselves from there. I guess we just expect our kids to do the same. If they want to try and go straight out of HS, then they better be applying for all the help they can get because there is no way we can help but, again, I'm sure they will be able to get some help having BOTH parents as veterens.
Well I've got quite awhile to think about this....hopefully they get a scholarship, college X 4 seems impossible!!
Our boys already have a college fund set up, courtesy of my in-laws' generosity. Paying for all of it out-of-pocket is rather frightening but we hope the fund and scholarships will help minimize the cost for both of them. Attending college is a given in this house, which is what happens with two educators as parents. Our boys know that I teach college kids, though our older son is more impressed with my students at the art school. He's particularly taken with the concept cars the trans design students have created. He said one day he'd like to do it, too.
Yes - as a double educator family as well - I totally know what you mean!
Not to mention - my sister and her husband are teachers too! LOL!
Quoting arthistmom:Our boys already have a college fund set up, courtesy of my in-laws' generosity. Paying for all of it out-of-pocket is rather frightening but we hope the fund and scholarships will help minimize the cost for both of them. Attending college is a given in this house, which is what happens with two educators as parents. Our boys know that I teach college kids, though our older son is more impressed with my students at the art school. He's particularly taken with the concept cars the trans design students have created. He said one day he'd like to do it, too.
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