Let me give you some history on the matter.
My great- aunt was a single mother. Her DH left her with a 1 yr old when she was 19. She totally rose to the occasion- awesome mom. She went to college at night, worked a full time job, eventually got a job for the state, was an amazing yet strict mom. He was in "devil pups" because he wanted and because she thought it was good for him to be around strong male figures since dad was missing in his life. She paid for his college, stayed out of his business when it came to his personal life etc.
I only have 3 aunts total, and she is by far my favorite. She is understanding, liberal, and responsible.
Last year her and I were having our usual chit chat and she broke down and told me what my cousin and his wife had sent her. My aunt had sent monogramed bath towels and a gym leotard to my cousins kids- her grandchildren. The wife replied via e-mail that "she should stop sending them things that won't be useful to them, that they have told her before in so many words, but to just send a check-anything else just gets donated as it's not their taste."
My cousin who is a FB friend of mine seems to have radical views on who should be a parent. He is an extreme atheist and extreme in his views of who should have kids. Apparently he thinks his mom doesn't fit his criteria because she was a single mom. He seems so bitter toward the world. He is also a Sherriff.
It's been a year since he hasn't spoken to her. SHe still sends him birthday and fathers day cards, even his wife mothers day cards. No response. Last response she ever got from him was when she emailed him about the email his wife sent her about the gifts to which he replied "She's right and I would have told you the same thing."
I talked to her recently and still no word from him and her pain of not understand why bothers me. So for some reason I decided that I was going to send him a message sharing my feelings before I deleted him from FB.
It read something like this- "Hi cousin. Rememer when your mom used to fly me up to spend summers with you guys? Those are some of my fondest memories, maybe because I wasn't as lucky as you in the mom department. Either way I'm lucky to have her as an aunt.
I know you have excluded her from your life. I want you to know that it hurts me because I see her pain and especially because of her not understanding why. I could only wish for a mom like her and I'm sad to see how easily you dismiss her as your mother. Bye."
Umm yeah- that's how I feel, BUT WHY DID I DO THAT. I TOTALLY MEDDLED, UGGG.