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getting along with the other parent.

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:42 AM
  • 11 Replies

I understand how important it is to try and get along with the other parent but sometimes it's just not doable. My oldest sons father will yell and scream in the phone. He got mad at me because I don't agree with him. He says that things should be his way because he is the non custodial parent and that I should just do things his way and let him pick the way things are.

I told him no that things have to be compromised. He is the type of person who only likes you when you are doing it his way when your not then he yells and screams...Opinions on this behavior? 

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
alc4evermom
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:48 AM

Good communication skills would help for starters.  I personally don't listen to yelling.  

notadramamama
by Tina on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:43 AM
3 moms liked this

 Well, I take it you aren't together now.  I say if it's on the phone, hang up and have your son do the same thing.  You could always say something like "please don't yell or I'm hanging up" or just hang it up.  He can yell at a dial tone.

Mommyto3band1g
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:51 PM

Sounds just like my ex. His way or he cries like a little bitch. We cant get along at all. He cares more about himself and his happiness then our kids.

Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Jul. 12, 2013 at 3:17 PM
2 moms liked this
Yelling doesn't work for me. I just shut down when that happens. *A reaction from when I was growing up.* So everyone knows if they want to talk to me, they have to talk in a calm voice.

I would suggest just telling him "When you are finished yelling, then I will listen to you. Until then, I have nothing to say to you." Then hang up. Do that anytime he starts to yell.

Compromising is good. Tell him that. Tell him that you will compromise with him on one thing to start off with, one of your ideas, then if he follows through then you compromise on one of his ideas.
erica7227
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 8:17 AM
1 mom liked this


This. I finally realized I could hang up on my ex when he was abusing me like that. Now he doesn't dare speak to me that way.  You don't have to take that. It's controlling behavior. You aren't together any more & he's still trying to control you!

Quoting notadramamama:

 Well, I take it you aren't together now.  I say if it's on the phone, hang up and have your son do the same thing.  You could always say something like "please don't yell or I'm hanging up" or just hang it up.  He can yell at a dial tone.



ericahager2005
by Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 9:32 AM
I finally got to a point last year when he was screaming at me so loud over the phone that it woke my dd6 through a closed door in the next room she was so upset she broke the cheapie lock on my door to get in my room just in time to hear exh call me a c*nt at the top of his lungs. It was so bad she started screaming at him to stop being mean. She wouldn't talk to him for months after.

I swear he goes down an alphabetical list of curse words.

Anyway it took that incident for me to realize its not ok for him to verbally abuse me everytime we disagree and I told him point blank that if he raised his voice became verbally abusive or demeaned me on the phone to mysrlf or kids that the phone call would end right then and there and if it continued I would file charges. The sad thing is it took seeing how it affected my dd6 for me to stop allowing the behavior. ...
ericahager2005
by Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 9:33 AM
Btw he = exh


Quoting ericahager2005:

I finally got to a point last year when he was screaming at me so loud over the phone that it woke my dd6 through a closed door in the next room she was so upset she broke the cheapie lock on my door to get in my room just in time to hear exh call me a c*nt at the top of his lungs. It was so bad she started screaming at him to stop being mean. She wouldn't talk to him for months after.



I swear he goes down an alphabetical list of curse words.



Anyway it took that incident for me to realize its not ok for him to verbally abuse me everytime we disagree and I told him point blank that if he raised his voice became verbally abusive or demeaned me on the phone to mysrlf or kids that the phone call would end right then and there and if it continued I would file charges. The sad thing is it took seeing how it affected my dd6 for me to stop allowing the behavior. ...

Amanda804
by New Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 1:24 PM

Is your son's father my son's father? From what you're describing they just might be. My son's father tells me that he has say in everything that is done in ds's life. he gets a say in who i date because of me being custodial my new signifigant other will be around ds more than his, however i don't even get the right to meet his new girlfriends. It's basically his way or no way and there will be a fight. Needless to say my son dosn't see much of his father, he hasn't seen him since November of last year. 

PoplarGrove
by Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 3:15 PM

Tell him you aren't going to have a conversation with someone who's yelling.  the next time he yells tell him if he continutes you'll hang up or walk away.  When he continues to yell hang up or walk away.

Or communicate via text only.  

mistressflora
by Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 4:04 PM

i dont get along with my dds father bc hes jealous im married, so he makes my life harder and refuses to talk to me like a parent should, instead he wants to talk like we are together and we are not! he wont talk about our dd and refuses to

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