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The Lounge The Lounge

Why is this?

Posted by on Aug. 14, 2013 at 10:39 PM
  • 11 Replies
1 mom liked this

I have just joined CM relatively recently, and I've noticed something that really bothers me. Before I go any further, I just want to make it clear that I'm making an observation based on my own opinions and am not in any way trying to offend anyone, so if I do, I apologize in advance.

I've noticed, being brought up as a woman, that our society seems to encourage us to judge each other, compare ourselves to others, be jealous of each other, and especially when we become mothers, to focus on what other mothers are doing wrong. This really bothers me. On a site like this, I would like to see more women coming together to support each other rather than being so quick to judge and call each other names and bash each other's opinions and parenting styles. 

I think in general IRL this goes on too much. It would be nice to see more people in forums like this using them to have a place where they can express themselves and feel as though they have a community of sisters who can be there for them. Instead of being so quick to judge and call names, maybe we can try to ask questions to see where the others are coming from. I realize there are trolls in every forum, and I'm not so much talking about trying to do this with people who are deliberately trying to provoke, but maybe just ignoring them, and for that matter anyone else who feels the need to be nasty, rather than engaging them. I don't like to see the bad habits that society has taught us as women spilling over into forums that are supposed to be for just the opposite. I have been guilty of doing all of these bad habits in the past as well, so I'm also not trying to say I'm better than anyone else by any means. I just believe as women we need to work together.

I'm not bashing CM in general and I'm not by any means saying that this is the norm here. In fact I have seen many moms helping each other out and that makes me happy. I just wish that the people that feel the need to perpetuate the jealously, judging, and bashing would keep it to themselves. We've been so conditioned as women to act like this sometimes that I would like to see more of us working towards changing that. We have an entirely different set of challenges being women in the first place. I don't like to see other women making it harder.

by on Aug. 14, 2013 at 10:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bonneata
by Bronze Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 12:03 AM

I have asked myself the as same question. 

merryvoice
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:00 PM
Well said! I couldn't agree more.
offrdngal
by Terri on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:10 PM

 I say it all the time, "some people can't feel better about themselves unless they are bringing other people down".  Then throw in the fact that they are "untouchable" sitting in front of a computer monitor...

You just have to find the right groups and sometimes it takes a while.  LOL

 

bottomline
by Bronze Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 9:36 AM

 Many people have noticed this tendency in CM. Many have spoken of it. And many have been torn to shreds for speaking of it. Ignore the garbage and listen to the good.  You will see that those interested in ripping people apart try to camouflage it by blaming you for not wanting "good" advice. There are some sad individuals in here that's for sure.

sorsha2013
by New Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this


There are. But there are also a lot of good ones, and I'm glad to have become a part of the community as a whole. I'm looking forward to making new friends. :)

Quoting bottomline:

 Many people have noticed this tendency in CM. Many have spoken of it. And many have been torn to shreds for speaking of it. Ignore the garbage and listen to the good.  You will see that those interested in ripping people apart try to camouflage it by blaming you for not wanting "good" advice. There are some sad individuals in here that's for sure.



bottomline
by Bronze Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 12:15 PM

 Me too!  I learned to ignore the negative right off the bat. Glad you can too!!

Quoting sorsha2013:

 

There are. But there are also a lot of good ones, and I'm glad to have become a part of the community as a whole. I'm looking forward to making new friends. :)

Quoting bottomline:

 Many people have noticed this tendency in CM. Many have spoken of it. And many have been torn to shreds for speaking of it. Ignore the garbage and listen to the good.  You will see that those interested in ripping people apart try to camouflage it by blaming you for not wanting "good" advice. There are some sad individuals in here that's for sure.

 

 

 

Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Aug. 16, 2013 at 1:36 PM

Yep!  I agree.

StepDucky
by Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 2:16 PM

Amen sister!! I see so much hate here on cm.... We as woman should be lifting each other up, not putting each other down.

hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Aug. 16, 2013 at 3:35 PM

agreed

luvmybug
by Amanda on Aug. 16, 2013 at 3:51 PM
Well spoken. I have asked myself the same thing...
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