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Should I feel guilty?

Posted by on Aug. 24, 2013 at 11:37 PM
  • 7 Replies

I am a mother of 4 kids..The twin girls are11 and next girl is 9 and a seven year old boy..

Some part of me feels guilty for not having the kids in any kind of extra curricular activity. I see other moms actively involved in running to ball games, taking kids to practice, going to meetings...(run run run) My kids have asked to be in dance class, karate, ect. But I've had to tell them no, because if I say yes to one all 4 kids would have to join something. I just see absolutely no way I would be able to juggle the time and effort for it PLUS not to menchine the costs for just 1 kid to do 1 activity is to me is extremely high (in some cases) and sometimes higher through the school---plus basically times 4 the cost for me and with one income that's tuff. We do fun stuff with the kids..we take them out on the lake, ride go carts, fish ect..I want the best for my kids and would do anything I could for them..Does anyone have a word of advise for my busy mind tonight? Thanks 

by on Aug. 24, 2013 at 11:37 PM
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by New Member on Aug. 24, 2013 at 11:56 PM
1 mom liked this

it is up to you on what is acceptable for your family, if extra curricular activitiesdo not fit within your budget then it is ok to not do them, do not stress your self out. is there anything that maybe all 4 would like to try or maybe sit down with them and discuss we can try this for a bit then the next thing, some places even will give a family discount if they all join.

by Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 12:14 AM
Maybe set an age. Once you are 12 you can start an extra curricular activity. Or try to schedule it so you only have one sport with one kid at a time. Kid A wants to do summer baton lessons, Kid B gets fall foot ball, Kid C has winter swimming and Kid D has spring baseball or something along those lines.
by Bronze Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 9:09 AM

I'm the oldest of four. Growing up,

1) I was involved in dance (Tap ballet jazz and toe) soccer, piano lessons. I played for the choir.

2) The eldest of my brothers was in the band, played soccer

3) my youngest brother was also in band, played soccer, bowled.

4) my sister - the baby - danced - tap and ballet and played soccer.

We owned ONE car.

I can remember my mom telling people she HATED Tuesdays and Thursday because it was non stop for her. I can remember her sitting on top of the bleachers at the fields with a kid on 4 of the fields surrounding those middle stack of bleachers. I also remember being dropped off early for dance rehersal and having to wait an hour before I was picked up. Lots of homework was completed in the dance waiting room.

It's called scheduling. It's added socialization. My mom made friends with other moms...we made friends outside of school... It was hectic, but as a family, we enjoyed it.

by Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 1:09 AM
Its that important for social growth, make it work mommy!
by Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this

Don't feel guilty, the most important thing is family time!!! :)

by Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 6:32 PM

 it's based on your family, growing up we did not have the means to do extra curriculars and i didn't mind. my parents made sure we were active and took us hiking, fishing, we camped out in our backyard to name a few things, we were involved in groups within our church and that was a good fit for us.

by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 3:51 PM
The only thing I ever did growing up was dance. Tap, Ballet, Jazz, Pointe, etc. Twice a week. Our kids each get to pick one thing they want to do every year in August. This year my 14 year old wanted art classes, my 12 year old wanted horseback riding lessons, my 11 year old wanted gymnastics, my 10 year old wanted ballet, and my 5 year old wanted Tae Kwon Do lessons. It seems like a lot, but it's not that bad.

Do what you feel is right for your family. :)
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