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Finally embracing my future

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:37 AM
  • 8 Replies
1 mom liked this
After discovering my soon to be ex husband cheated on me, wasn't willing to do counseling, and stayed with the other female, I have begun to stop blaming myself for my failed marriage.

I was devastated, broken, cried many nights even after I had filed, but found the strength to leave and file for divorce.

Because we have a daughter together, I have been as civil as I possibly can. We separated in May but I filed in June. He ended up officially dating the girl he cheated on me with last month, and after I filed, he had been making it public and they were going out to new places. He had stopped asking if our daughter needed anything. He could go days without even asking how she was. And when I asked if he could get things like diapers and wipes, he would buy them when he felt like it. His mom would go out and buy the things our daughter needed.

I began to ask why I had even loved this "man." For the longest time I hated him. I couldn't even stand to see his face .

But now with some time passing, I have picked myself up from falling and have pushed myself to be all I can be for my daughter .

I wondered if he even cared about the family life he threw away. And when things fell apart last week with the other woman, he tried to come around with a gift and flooded me with compliments. I told him I wouldn't accept his gifts and that I had moved on. That was such an empowering moment.

Now I stand tall and keep walking towards a brighter future. It hasn't been easy but my daughter needs a strong mother and that's all I can be for her. I know I deserve better. And if I never find anyone else, that has begun to become fine with me. Life is too short and I must do all that makes me happy!
by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:37 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Bonneata
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 2:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Hugs :) keep up the good attitude! 

ara-myangel
by Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:00 PM
Thank you! :)
amonkeymom
by Amy on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:30 PM

Good for you!  You have become a stronger woman and I think that's fantastic for both yourself and for your daughter!  

1CrazyCajun
by Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 5:27 PM

 Good for you !!! Don't go back to him. He threw away something precious and doesn't deserve you.

I would ask for child support though. It is his child and he needs to help provide for her.

~* No Drama Mamas*~ Come Join Us

ara-myangel
by Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 6:29 PM
1 mom liked this
We have an upcoming hearing. I hired a lawyer and since he's been behind on child support payments, we are pending a hearing. I'm not gonna let him slip away from his responsibilities. I got tired of him buying things here and there when he wanted but ignoring our daughter's needs.

Quoting 1CrazyCajun:

 Good for you !!! Don't go back to him. He threw away something precious and doesn't deserve you.


I would ask for child support though. It is his child and he needs to help provide for her.

ara-myangel
by Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 6:30 PM
Thank you ladies for the encouraging words. Finally getting the strength to leave was the hardest part. But I'd rather have my daughter see me happy than miserable and disrespected
mskeeinmd
by Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:01 AM

Congratulations mama!  You are in charge of your future and all you have to do is keep finding encouragment in the little things.  I too am separted and going through a divorce and although it was rough in the beginning, I realized that gospel songs kept me encouraged in realizing that my life was in God's hands and me and my son would be okay.  I make more than enough to take care of him on my own and I'm truly blessed that my friends (male and female) have stepped in to help me get my life and house in order.  It takes a village and I've been embraced and loved by people who went through similiar situations and those that haven't.  When he first moved out, "I cried all night long thinking What if I get cancer?  Who will take care of me?"  My family and friends will.  I will be okay.  I encourage you to know that you are not alone and if he doesn't do what he's supposed to make sure your parenting and custody agreement is in order.  I drafted my own which is 14 pages long and would be happy to share and you can modify and give to the courts. Be encouraged! You are truly blessed.

ara-myangel
by Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 4:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you! I realized whatever criticism I got for my decision, that it was all too simple: I live my own life and find my own happiness :)
I was speaking to friends and family and though some family members had always been over religious, I did want to go back to church this Sunday and just pray for God to keep guiding me and giving me strength.
At the moment I moved back to my parents with my daughter because I had only a part time job and was finishing school so I couldn't afford the place my ex husband and I had together. Since my dad was the breadwinner and recently had a hip surgery, he couldn't go back to insulation working which he did for over 20 years. His doctor suggested he fight for disability benefits. So I'm back at home helping my family and making sure to repay them for all the support they ever gave me. They watch my daughter while I work full time and help them. Once they are ok, I plan to find my own place. So the divorce came at a rough patch in my life. And I prayed more than I ever had.
But God only gives us what we can handle. I believe that. I am a fighter and a survivor.
I'd be happy to get an idea of your custody agreement for an idea of how I want my own to be.


Quoting mskeeinmd:

Congratulations mama!  You are in charge of your future and all you have to do is keep finding encouragment in the little things.  I too am separted and going through a divorce and although it was rough in the beginning, I realized that gospel songs kept me encouraged in realizing that my life was in God's hands and me and my son would be okay.  I make more than enough to take care of him on my own and I'm truly blessed that my friends (male and female) have stepped in to help me get my life and house in order.  It takes a village and I've been embraced and loved by people who went through similiar situations and those that haven't.  When he first moved out, "I cried all night long thinking What if I get cancer?  Who will take care of me?"  My family and friends will.  I will be okay.  I encourage you to know that you are not alone and if he doesn't do what he's supposed to make sure your parenting and custody agreement is in order.  I drafted my own which is 14 pages long and would be happy to share and you can modify and give to the courts. Be encouraged! You are truly blessed.

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