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Not sure what to say/Advice please

Posted by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 10:04 PM
  • 5 Replies
I just found out today that my best friend is planning to move to Seattle, we live in NC. We've been friends for almost 32 years now and I don't even really have any other good friends. I think she's making a big mistake and I need advice on what I can say to her without ruining our friendship. Her reason for moving: She's in love with someone she knows only online and has never even met in person! This is not the first time she has moved, all for people online and nothing has worked out. One time she even moved to Sweden just for "love". She almost moved a few years ago, for yet another online love interest. He died unexpectedly, right before she was getting ready to move. She's 43 years old and has never had a serious relationship unless you count all of her online boyfriends. Most of who she never met in person. The last time she was involved with an online love interest, he moved to NC and moved in with her. But, she quickly found out, he wasn't interested in her and only needed a place to live. She said this new online boyfriend, who I just found out about today, won't move to NC because he has a child he doesn't want to be far from. She's my children's Godmother, and all her family and friends are here. And she doesn't drive, and has health problems, she just had brain surgery in June! I don't know what to do about this, I can't tell her she's being stupid. Another thing I need to add, if she moves I know I'll never see her again if things do work out. My husband is low income, so no way we'd be able to visit, and she wouldn't be able to either. We hardly get to see each other anyway, she lives about 30 minutes away now, but with her job and busy weekends we only get to see each other every few months, but at least she's close by and we can still see each other. Anyone have any advice? What can I do?
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 10:04 PM
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Replies (1-5):
by Member on Oct. 12, 2013 at 10:24 PM

Maybe suggest that the guy come visit so they can at least meet?? Moving cross-country is a huge deal, considering what you said about her. How long has she been talking to him online? Is she usually spontaneous or has she spent some time considering her options here?

by Inga on Oct. 12, 2013 at 10:31 PM

I think that you are stuck in if you DO say something she will get angry, leave anyway and then you will not hear from her again.  My advice is to love her unconditionally, mistakes and all.  It is unfortunate that she might move across the country with a guy she does not know, and whether it works out or not, she sounds like "that friend."  The quirky friend, so love her for all her quirkiness and unless she is IN DANGER.  Cry when her back is turned, but smile when she's looking at you.  Because, honey, I think I WAS that friend and my good friend just phoned and wrote me on all my adventures and I LOVED her all the more for that.  We are still BEST FRIENDS to this day.

by Member on Oct. 13, 2013 at 4:17 AM

i'm afraid that if your friend has not learned by now that online romances usually do not work out it's to late for her to learn - just support her and pray a lot for her  that things will work out with this online romance - you are a very good friend for worrying about her - please let her know tht you are allways their for her and, as the above person suggested - "love her unconditionally" -

by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 3:41 PM
She's going to follow her heart even though its been wrong every time. But they should meet first before she leaves.
by on Nov. 5, 2013 at 11:19 AM

If she has done this before and you two still talk, what makes you so sure you will never see her again if she leaves this time? I don't think anything you say or do will change her mind. 

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