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Is This Okay?

Posted by on May. 12, 2014 at 11:01 AM
  • 20 Replies

So my dh's cousin is 8 years old and lives with his grandpa.  Dh's dad came over the other day and told us that not only does his grandpa make the little boy sit naked on the counter every morning while the grandpa brushes his teeth for him, but we also found out that he showers with his grandpa too.  At 8 years old.  The poor kid still really struggles bad with pooping his pants and i guess the grandpa still uses baby talk with them, ie peepee and poopoo and other such baby words.  DH is considering calling CPS but he knows that if he does his already crappy relationship with his grandpa will definately seise to exhist.  He is more concerned about the emotional development of his cousin though.

by on May. 12, 2014 at 11:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
demonica29
by New Member on May. 12, 2014 at 11:21 AM
2 moms liked this

Why do people immediately jump to calling CPS?  How about getting the family together to help grandpa instead?  He is probably out of touch with what an 8 year old needs, developmentally. That's what it sounds like, anyway. 

EireLass
by Silver Member on May. 12, 2014 at 11:51 AM
Why dont you offer to take the 8 yo in with you?
HaileysMom07180
by Member on May. 12, 2014 at 11:54 AM

mom lives there too sometimes, my father in law lives there who is on parole and dealing drugs.  my fil has told him numerous times that this is not okay, and so has the boys mother.  it continues to happen.  dh's grandpa wouldn't ever let us take the boy, we've offered numerous times to babysit.  dh is the son of the wrong kid and his grandpa makes sure he knows that.  

Quoting demonica29:

Why do people immediately jump to calling CPS?  How about getting the family together to help grandpa instead?  He is probably out of touch with what an 8 year old needs, developmentally. That's what it sounds like, anyway. 


demonica29
by New Member on May. 12, 2014 at 12:03 PM

Okay, that makes more sense. Who has legal custody of the boy?

HaileysMom07180
by Member on May. 12, 2014 at 12:22 PM
1 mom liked this

i think the mom does, she has a boyfriend that her and her son were living with in a run down moldy trailer that they were renting for $850 a month (really high for a trailer at all in this area).  Then she lost her job because she failed a pee test, they were evicted and moved in with my dh's grandpa.  She got a job and her and her boyfriend got a new place.  She left her son at her dads house to stay instead of taking him with her.  Conditions of my fil's parole says he has to have his own room so they moved the poor boy out of his room and is now sleeping, changing and playing in the living room.  They couch has a hidabed.  His mom will come over off and on to sleep there in her room (its actaully a 5 bedroom house so i still don't understand why the poor little boy doesn't have his own room but his mom who is hardly ever there does).  His dad is in prison after violating his parole a few years ago.  I think his mom technically has custody, but grandpa is raising him.  

The whole family is screwed up really, I still don't understand how dh came out to be so normal.

Quoting demonica29:

Okay, that makes more sense. Who has legal custody of the boy?


amonkeymom
by Amy on May. 12, 2014 at 2:02 PM

What was grandpa in prison for, if you don't mind my asking.

HaileysMom07180
by Member on May. 12, 2014 at 2:10 PM

oh you mean my father in law?  he had 3 grand jury indigtments in 2006 for trafficking meth, before that it was identity theft.  Dh's grandpa has never been arrested but he was an architect.  The boys dad is back in prison but i don't know his charges.  she met him through my fil so i can only imagine it either has to do will selling or cooking drugs.  Sorry, its a little confusing when typed out.  sometimes it mind blowing to me how much a lot of those family members have been arrested.

Quoting amnkeymom:

What was grandpa in prison for, if you don't mind my asking.


marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on May. 12, 2014 at 2:14 PM
Umm why would your husband give two shits about his relationship with a man who would do thing like that with a little boy? Call the CPS, make as many reports as you can and make sure that poor kid gets removed from all of them.
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demonica29
by New Member on May. 12, 2014 at 4:28 PM
1 mom liked this

So sorry to hear all of that. Unfortunately, if mom has custody, calling CPS will get her in as much trouble, if not more, than grandpa. Can you sit down with mom and get this figured out?  Are you in a position to take the boy in?  If done correctly, you could get state aid for fostering the boy, if you can't afford to keep him otherwise. 

Quoting HaileysMom07180:

i think the mom does, she has a boyfriend that her and her son were living with in a run down moldy trailer that they were renting for $850 a month (really high for a trailer at all in this area).  Then she lost her job because she failed a pee test, they were evicted and moved in with my dh's grandpa.  She got a job and her and her boyfriend got a new place.  She left her son at her dads house to stay instead of taking him with her.  Conditions of my fil's parole says he has to have his own room so they moved the poor boy out of his room and is now sleeping, changing and playing in the living room.  They couch has a hidabed.  His mom will come over off and on to sleep there in her room (its actaully a 5 bedroom house so i still don't understand why the poor little boy doesn't have his own room but his mom who is hardly ever there does).  His dad is in prison after violating his parole a few years ago.  I think his mom technically has custody, but grandpa is raising him.  

The whole family is screwed up really, I still don't understand how dh came out to be so normal.

Quoting demonica29:

Okay, that makes more sense. Who has legal custody of the boy?



HaileysMom07180
by Member on May. 12, 2014 at 6:28 PM

apparently my fil told her if it doesn't get turned around in the next couple days, he will be contacting his parole officer to inform him of the living conditions.  His parole officer will approve him for home relocation as well as contact CPS.  How Parole hasn't caught some of the living conditions thus far is mind boggling to me anyway because they have searched the home several times in the last several years.

Quoting demonica29:

So sorry to hear all of that. Unfortunately, if mom has custody, calling CPS will get her in as much trouble, if not more, than grandpa. Can you sit down with mom and get this figured out?  Are you in a position to take the boy in?  If done correctly, you could get state aid for fostering the boy, if you can't afford to keep him otherwise. 

Quoting HaileysMom07180:

i think the mom does, she has a boyfriend that her and her son were living with in a run down moldy trailer that they were renting for $850 a month (really high for a trailer at all in this area).  Then she lost her job because she failed a pee test, they were evicted and moved in with my dh's grandpa.  She got a job and her and her boyfriend got a new place.  She left her son at her dads house to stay instead of taking him with her.  Conditions of my fil's parole says he has to have his own room so they moved the poor boy out of his room and is now sleeping, changing and playing in the living room.  They couch has a hidabed.  His mom will come over off and on to sleep there in her room (its actaully a 5 bedroom house so i still don't understand why the poor little boy doesn't have his own room but his mom who is hardly ever there does).  His dad is in prison after violating his parole a few years ago.  I think his mom technically has custody, but grandpa is raising him.  

The whole family is screwed up really, I still don't understand how dh came out to be so normal.

Quoting demonica29:

Okay, that makes more sense. Who has legal custody of the boy?




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