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Something dumb to argue over

Posted by on Jun. 7, 2014 at 1:16 PM
  • 15 Replies

Back story:

My sister's husband is really interested in his heritage and his grandpa is first generation born in America.  His GRANDFATHER'S parents came to America from Holland.  So that makes my sister's husband half Dutch, because his dad is Dutch but his mother is not.

My family has always knew that we mainly came from the Netherlands.  Both of our parents are around half Dutch, because both of their parents are.  My family even has books about our family and ancestors.

Now the story:

He told my sister that we can't have Dutch in us (at least not like he does) because Dutch people "only have blond hair and blue eyes"  Ok dummy.  We also have French in our blood (my great grandma is 100% French.  Her grand parents came from France.  My great grandma I guess would be 2nd generation born in America.  BUT!!!

I found out my dad's parents are both first generation born in America and their parents came from guess where... Yep The Netherlands.  One set from Holland and one set from a small town.  Their last name was even named after the town they are from. 

My mom's side my grandpa is also from the Netherlands and also German and Irish.  These are all from the books and plenty of investigation from genealogy. 

I think my BIL is stupid.  He would always bully us, because we just SAY we are from there without knowledge.

My family has blue/gray/green eyes and blond as babies and it goes darker when we get older. 

sorry so long.  But seriously Because of him having blond hair and blue eyes makes him more than us.  The Dutch are also known to be the tallest ethnicity.  He is 5'8"  My brothers are 6'3" and 6'4".  You don't necessarily just have one characterist because you are mostly of one thing.  You also have other ethnicity to give you other characteristics.


by on Jun. 7, 2014 at 1:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
goldilocksbecky
by on Jun. 7, 2014 at 1:48 PM

I'm really not getting your math on either situation. If both parents are Dutch, how does that make their children "half Dutch"?

After that, I only skimmed.  I will say that genetics are a funny thing.  My Mom's family has a lot of Native.  Her Dad was half native, half white.  Most of my cousins have darker hair, more olive skin, etc.  But there a few of us who have blue eyes and blonde hair.  Obviously we took more traits from our other parents side.  None of that changes who we are.  There are bigger things in life to worry about.  

While ancestry and genetics make for interesting little tidbits, not a bit of it changes our lives in the here and now.and it's definitely not worth arguing about.  Don't even waste your breathe.  Smile and nod and move on. Remember, it takes two people to "argue".  If you don't play into it, then it's nothing more than an idiot giving a monologue.


hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Jun. 7, 2014 at 2:01 PM

sorry edited.  His grandfather is 100% Dutch.  Which he had a son (my  BILS dad) who married a woman who is not Dutch.  So my BIL is half.

Quoting goldilocksbecky:

I'm really not getting your math on either situation. If both parents are Dutch, how does that make their children "half Dutch"?

After that, I only skimmed.  I will say that genetics are a funny thing.  My Mom's family has a lot of Native.  Her Dad was half native, half white.  Most of my cousins have darker hair, more olive skin, etc.  But there a few of us who have blue eyes and blonde hair.  Obviously we took more traits from our other parents side.  None of that changes who we are.  There are bigger things in life to worry about.  

While ancestry and genetics make for interesting little tidbits, not a bit of it changes our lives in the here and now.and it's definitely not worth arguing about.  Don't even waste your breathe.  Smile and nod and move on. Remember, it takes two people to "argue".  If you don't play into it, then it's nothing more than an idiot making a soliloquy.

I got tired of his crap and telling my sister that she was dumb because she doesn't know where her ancesters come from.  for him it's a huge deal.

goldilocksbecky
by on Jun. 7, 2014 at 2:06 PM

Just because it's a huge deal to him doesn't mean it has to be a huge deal to you.  Or her.  You can't change whether he chooses to ramble on and on.  You CAN choose whether or not to be an audience for it.  Walk away.  In your sisters case, she has to choose whether she plans on sitting back and being called dumb or not.  I know I wouldn't, but that's on her.  

Quoting hayliedlr:

sorry edited.  His grandfather is 100% Dutch.  Which he had a son (my  BILS dad) who married a woman who is not Dutch.  So my BIL is half.

Quoting goldilocksbecky:

I'm really not getting your math on either situation. If both parents are Dutch, how does that make their children "half Dutch"?

After that, I only skimmed.  I will say that genetics are a funny thing.  My Mom's family has a lot of Native.  Her Dad was half native, half white.  Most of my cousins have darker hair, more olive skin, etc.  But there a few of us who have blue eyes and blonde hair.  Obviously we took more traits from our other parents side.  None of that changes who we are.  There are bigger things in life to worry about.  

While ancestry and genetics make for interesting little tidbits, not a bit of it changes our lives in the here and now.and it's definitely not worth arguing about.  Don't even waste your breathe.  Smile and nod and move on. Remember, it takes two people to "argue".  If you don't play into it, then it's nothing more than an idiot making a soliloquy.

I got tired of his crap and telling my sister that she was dumb because she doesn't know where her ancesters come from.  for him it's a huge deal.


hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Jun. 7, 2014 at 2:09 PM

That's why my sister had me investigate.  So he would shut up about it.  LOL.  He did shut up about it too.  Finally

Quoting goldilocksbecky:

Just because it's a huge deal to him doesn't mean it has to be a huge deal to you.  Or her.  You can't change whether he chooses to ramble on and on.  You CAN choose whether or not to be an audience for it.  Walk away.  In your sisters case, she has to choose whether she plans on sitting back and being called dumb or not.  I know I wouldn't, but that's on her.  

Quoting hayliedlr:

sorry edited.  His grandfather is 100% Dutch.  Which he had a son (my  BILS dad) who married a woman who is not Dutch.  So my BIL is half.

Quoting goldilocksbecky:

I'm really not getting your math on either situation. If both parents are Dutch, how does that make their children "half Dutch"?

After that, I only skimmed.  I will say that genetics are a funny thing.  My Mom's family has a lot of Native.  Her Dad was half native, half white.  Most of my cousins have darker hair, more olive skin, etc.  But there a few of us who have blue eyes and blonde hair.  Obviously we took more traits from our other parents side.  None of that changes who we are.  There are bigger things in life to worry about.  

While ancestry and genetics make for interesting little tidbits, not a bit of it changes our lives in the here and now.and it's definitely not worth arguing about.  Don't even waste your breathe.  Smile and nod and move on. Remember, it takes two people to "argue".  If you don't play into it, then it's nothing more than an idiot making a soliloquy.

I got tired of his crap and telling my sister that she was dumb because she doesn't know where her ancesters come from.  for him it's a huge deal.



mysticalmalissa
by Silver Member on Jun. 7, 2014 at 3:24 PM

I would tell him to take a leap. LOL

Thats not something I would argue over.

My boys will never know what their heritage is because I was adopted. My eldest son is blonde blue eyed and gets the darkest tan in the summer.

hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Jun. 7, 2014 at 6:01 PM

But saying that you can only be Dutch if you have blond hair and blue eyes is dumb.  you don't always get things from one set of parents.  you do have two lol (generally speaking of course)

Quoting mysticalmalissa:

I would tell him to take a leap. LOL

Thats not something I would argue over.

My boys will never know what their heritage is because I was adopted. My eldest son is blonde blue eyed and gets the darkest tan in the summer.

so does my sister's youngest son.  My kids have hispanic in them so they are tan all year round lol

mysticalmalissa
by Silver Member on Jun. 7, 2014 at 6:03 PM

I understand where you are coming from. 

Quoting hayliedlr:

But saying that you can only be Dutch if you have blond hair and blue eyes is dumb.  you don't always get things from one set of parents.  you do have two lol (generally speaking of course)

Quoting mysticalmalissa:

I would tell him to take a leap. LOL

Thats not something I would argue over.

My boys will never know what their heritage is because I was adopted. My eldest son is blonde blue eyed and gets the darkest tan in the summer.

so does my sister's youngest son.  My kids have hispanic in them so they are tan all year round lol


cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 12:42 AM

He's an idiot. To argue that he's more of a certain ethnicity because of his hair and eye color is dumb. Genetics can be really funny and some people come out looking nothing like thier immediate ancestors.

LeapBaby123
by Kathleen on Jun. 8, 2014 at 3:04 PM
Haha, silly thing to argue about. I'm mostly German, a little Dutch (my last name actually means boogeyman in Dutch, lol) and a little Russian. I have blonde hair and blue eyes, but no one else in my immediated family or grandparents has blue eyes.
143myboys9496
by Suzzanne on Jun. 8, 2014 at 5:16 PM

Tell your bil, my dh, is 6'6" tall and doesn't have even a dollop of Dutch in him. 

He's Porteguese, Italian, French, Irish.

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