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The boys go topless, why can’t I?

Posted by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 12:22 AM
  • 203 Replies
1 mom liked this

 

Poll

Question: Do you think little girls should be able to go topless like boys?

Options:

No child should ever be topless in public.

No. Modesty is important. No girl should be topless in public.

Toddler and under is okay.

It's fine before puberty.

Girls should be able to go topless no matter what their age.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 872

View Results

Betsy Shaw


posted: July 19, 2010, 10:00 am

in: Preschooler, Development & Behavior, Mom Stories

41 comments


“Mom, why do girls have to wear bathing suit tops or shirts, but boys don’t?”

Amy Gates, from Crunchy Domestic Goddess, fielded this question from her six-year-old daughter earlier this summer.

It’s an excellent question. And it’s a question that, thanks to a broad-minded mom, and a rural upbringing, I didn’t have to ask until I was at 9 or  10. I simply went topless, just like all my best friends, who happened to be boys.

But then came the day when I was reprimanded at our local pool for swimming in shorts without a top, the same exact outfit worn by my best friend, Richie.

I can remember being miffed about what exactly I had done wrong. I wasn’t flaunting my naked breasts. I didn’t have breasts. My chest looked exactly the same as my friend’s. Were they worried my breast buds might sprout, right then and there on the diving board?

And, even if they did sprout then and there, would that be so horribly obscene? Would everyone run from the pool, screaming, like a scene from The Blob? Would they have to evacuate the pool and clean it? Why should my iron-board flat chest be criminalized? For that matter, why should any chest be criminalized?

Now, I’ve got an 8-year-old daughter who, for the most part, likes her hand-me-down, one-piece bathing suits. But, surprise surprise, she also enjoys swimming in just her shorts, or even taking off her shirt when she’s playing with her friends and it’s hot. I love seeing her do this, but I notice that she is often the only one among her girl friends, to do it.

My philosophy is, do it while you can?

What’s yours? Are you a stickler for tops for young girls? And what about bra-style bikini tops? Do you like them, hate them, or are you indifferent?

by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 12:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 12:52 AM
2 moms liked this

I would have my dd wear a shirt. Only because as thet get older they'll be expected to wear a bathing suit top and I could see it being a huge issue at that time.

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jul. 18, 2014 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this

It would be a huge issue at what age?

Quoting cjsmom1:

I would have my dd wear a shirt. Only because as thet get older they'll be expected to wear a bathing suit top and I could see it being a huge issue at that time.




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I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














PinkButterfly66
by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 2:16 PM
22 moms liked this

I think the hypocrisy over breasts is stupid in this day and age.  If it is ok for men to go around shirtless then it should be fine for women to go shirtless as well.   

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 2:21 PM
10 moms liked this

I don't like the bra tops on very young girls.  Either cover or uncover, but don't make them wear this completely impracticle little thing that you're going to interrupt their fun every 5 minutes to tug back into place!  Until they have something to hold it in place, it isn't worth it.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

I think the hypocracy over breasts is stupid in this day and age.  If it is ok for men to go around shirtless then it should be fine for women to go shirtless as well.   


PinkButterfly66
by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 2:25 PM
3 moms liked this

My daughter never wore those bikini tops until she actually had something to keep them in place.  I agree with you completely.  She wore 1 pieces for a long time and when she wanted a 2 peice suit, I steered her towards the tankinis.  She got her first real bikini when she finally had boobs to put in the top.

Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

I don't like the bra tops on very young girls.  Either cover or uncover, but don't make them wear this completely impracticle little thing that you're going to interrupt their fun every 5 minutes to tug back into place!  Until they have something to hold it in place, it isn't worth it.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

I think the hypocracy over breasts is stupid in this day and age.  If it is ok for men to go around shirtless then it should be fine for women to go shirtless as well.   



Mrs.Kubalabuku
by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 2:29 PM
2 moms liked this

My stepmom got me a bra like one when I was first learning to swim.  She didn't know any better, really.  But every time I jumped in the pool the damned thing would flip up.  And I got chafing from how much it moved and how often I had to tug on it.

It's kind of the idea that someone can be completely naked and look natural, but strategically cover something and suddenly it looks sexual, kwim?  If I was allowed to be topless, I wouldn't have cared.  But because I had something that I knew was supposed to cover it, I felt like I HAD to keep it in place and covered.

Fortunately my SM got me a better suit that same summer because she understood what I was trying to say.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

My daughter never wore those bikini tops until she actually had something to keep them in place.  I agree with you completely.  She wore 1 pieces for a long time and when she wanted a 2 peice suit, I steered her towards the tankinis.  She got her first real bikini when she finally had boobs to put in the top.

Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

I don't like the bra tops on very young girls.  Either cover or uncover, but don't make them wear this completely impracticle little thing that you're going to interrupt their fun every 5 minutes to tug back into place!  Until they have something to hold it in place, it isn't worth it.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

I think the hypocracy over breasts is stupid in this day and age.  If it is ok for men to go around shirtless then it should be fine for women to go shirtless as well.   



Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Jul. 18, 2014 at 3:58 PM
2 moms liked this
Our kids have never liked being topless or with just a diaper on. My mom always had me in clothes if we went out when I was younger. My kids are very modest.
cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 4:18 PM

Lets say around school age since that's when kids will really start noticing it's "wrong" for girls not towear shirts and where bullying may begin. Plus I have seen some early elementary school kids with little buds that required a training bra.

Quoting paganbaby:

It would be a huge issue at what age?

Quoting cjsmom1:

I would have my dd wear a shirt. Only because as thet get older they'll be expected to wear a bathing suit top and I could see it being a huge issue at that time.


Serabeth06
by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 5:38 PM
1 mom liked this

This hasn't ever really been a problem in our family. My son doesn't even like to be shirtless. Drives his dad nuts, but he always asks for a shirt.

TheQueenOfChaos
by Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 5:40 PM
25 moms liked this
Most of our swimming is done in private for this reason. Both girls are extremely uncomfortable in bathing suits. One of my girls is very tall, the other one, even though she's underweight, is very wide. One piece bathing suits cut their skin and the pieces move and chafe. So they go in shorts. I'm not going to make the be uncomfortable to conform to society's backwards way of thinking. Personally I see it as perversion. There should be no reason anyone looks at a topless little girl and thinks it's wrong because it's only "wrong" in the sense that breasts are seen as sex objects. And if you're looking at a little girl and seeing her that way, you need serious help.
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