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We were almost kicked out because 7yo dd didn't have a bathing suit top. Update Pg 16

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:09 PM
  • 152 Replies
4 moms liked this

I can't get past the irony. Here I am, just having posted the "Boys can go topless why can't I?" post then I find myself in almost the exact same situation.

My family and I went to a city pool last weekend. I thought I packed everyone's bathing suit but I forgot DD's top. This pool is 30 mins away from our house and is only open for 2 1/2 hours so going back wasn't an option. I was just going to let her go topless but luckily one of the workers had a spare bathing suit top that dd could use. That made me think. I asked what would have happened if they didn't have one? She told me that we would be asked to leave. A female without a bathing suit top is inappropriate and would cause a distraction. I was dumbfounded. Here we are looking at 10's of shirtless little boys and men, my husband included, no one cared and yet my daughter would be asked to leave.

Audi looked up at me and asked, "What's wrong with my chest??" With that, my cause was born.

After swimming I asked to speak to the manager. I explained the situation and she responded the same. Girls have to wear swimming tops, if she didn't have one we would have to leave. Her reasons why wavered between amusing and infuriating.

#1 It's just the way things have always been done. Doesn't mean it's not time for a change?

 #2 It's for sanitary reasons. What's unsanitary about my daughters chest?

#3 They want to protect her from perverts. Are perverts not also looking at bare chested boys?

#4 They have to follow the law. There is no law against prepubescent girls being topless in public.

#5 She could cause a distraction to other patrons. Someone getting riled up over the sight of my 7yo's chest is not my problem.

In the end she conceded that she really didn't have a good reason why and gave me the number for her boss. I called and his response was even more amusing. First he apologized for any inconvenience then he went on to say that this is the first time this situation has ever come up in the 33 years he's been working there. He wanted to tread carefully so if I could please give him a week he would contact his boss, his colleagues, the city and the police department to see if he could find any precedent for a case like this and come up with a solution.

All of this because a 7 year old girl wants to go swimming in her shorts just like the boys...

by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Thelmama
by Thelma on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this

This one blows my mind the most. What is more unsanitary about a little bare chested girl chest than that of a little boy or grown man??


Quote:

#2 It's for sanitary reasons. What's unsanitary about my daughters chest?


That being said, I wouldn't let my girls go topless but then I don't let my son go topless. He fries like a lobster even with sun screen and usually wears a shirt when swimming, HIS choice.  

I don't think she is any more fodder for perverts than little boys.  Those creeps find anything alluring even if the child is fully clothed. 

To me a man or boy is just as naked when shirtless as a girl. My dh does not go around topless even cuttting the yard. Most times when we go swimming he also wears a tank top, just his preference as well. Then too, he is very hairy and he isn't bare chested anyway...LOL. Think sasquatch. love my hairy man but prefer his shirt on out in public as well.

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:18 PM

I'm using this whole situation as a teaching experience. I hope to show my kids that if something is unfair, you don't have to accept it. Do your research, contact every person in power and be firm! 

I told dd that I respect her enough to fight for her. And if she decides that she doesn't want to go topless that's fine. But she, like every other male will have that choice. Then my 9yo son added that maybe another little girl will see her and think "Oh she's not wearing a shirt." "I don't have to either."

marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:20 PM
15 moms liked this
I think you are being an attention seeking drama queen. I mean hell while you are at it, you should demand your children be able to swim naked. They are just kids after all right? You thrive on drama and wanting the world to change for your breast needs. Maybe teach your children some modesty so there isn't an entitlement issue like you have created.
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paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:26 PM
1 mom liked this

That blew my mind too. I can understand requiring bottoms but what's a little girl's bare chest going to do??

You know what's funny? 9yo ds will not leave the house without a shirt on. He even swims in a swim shirt. Once we forgot it and he insisted on wearing his shirt. Dh is the same way. Only recently has he started going shirtless in the pool (he has bad acne scars) But they do have the option. Every child (and person but that's a fight for another day,lol) should have it.

Quoting Thelmama:

This one blows my mind the most. What is more unsanitary about a little bare chested girl chest than that of a little boy or grown man??


Quote:#2 It's for sanitary reasons. What's unsanitary about my daughters chest?


That being said, I wouldn't let my girls go topless but then I don't let my son go topless. He fries like a lobster even with sun screen and usually wears a shirt when swimming, HIS choice.  

I don't think she is any more fodder for perverts than little boys.  Those creeps find anything alluring even if the child is fully clothed. 

To me a man or boy is just as naked when shirtless as a girl. My dh does not go around topless even cuttting the yard. Most times when we go swimming he also wears a tank top, just his preference as well. Then too, he is very hairy and he isn't bare chested anyway...LOL. Think sasquatch. love my hairy man but prefer his shirt on out in public as well.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:30 PM

I understand why kids shouldn't swim naked in a public pool. Ever have a fart that isn't a fart? Yeah... But anyway, It's not about being a drama queen. It's about equal rights. My daughter deserves the same privileges as my son and the law backs me up too.

Quoting marchantmom06: I think you are being an attention seeking drama queen. I mean hell while you are at it, you should demand your children be able to swim naked. They are just kids after all right? You thrive on drama and wanting the world to change for your breast needs. Maybe teach your children some modesty so there isn't an entitlement issue like you have created.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














Noni2319
by Chrissy on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:31 PM
1 mom liked this
Unsanitary? I have no clue how they got that.
paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:34 PM

Maybe because girls chests are private parts and private parts usually excrete stuff? Yeah I have no clue either.

Quoting Noni2319: Unsanitary? I have no clue how they got that.




I will not have a temper tantrum nor stomp across the floor.


I will not pout, scream or shout or kick against the door.

I will not throw my food around nor pick upon another.

I’ll always try to be real good because I am the mother.

I am the mother.

I am the mother.














marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 2:00 PM
4 moms liked this
What does a fart have to do with being naked? You think a bathing suit would matter if someone took a crap in a public pool? We have private areas on our body for a reason. Girls breast are private. They are not to be flaunted in public. Fighting for a prepubescent girl to be able to be half nude is disgusting. You are subjecting her to some really nasty humans. I sometimes wonder why you can't comprehend that female breast ARE different than Male breast. Just because you want to run around with your breast hanging out and teach your child too as well doesn't mean that it is right, or good. Men and women are not the same, they are completely different. That's why they have different clothing, bathrooms, swim suits, interest, abilities. It's time for you to grow up and let this titty war you want to wage, go.

Quoting paganbaby:

I understand why kids shouldn't swim naked in a public pool. Ever have a fart that isn't a fart? Yeah... But anyway, It's not about being a drama queen. It's about equal rights. My daughter deserves the same privileges as my son and the law backs me up too.

Quoting marchantmom06: I think you are being an attention seeking drama queen. I mean hell while you are at it, you should demand your children be able to swim naked. They are just kids after all right? You thrive on drama and wanting the world to change for your breast needs. Maybe teach your children some modesty so there isn't an entitlement issue like you have created.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
EireLass
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 2:09 PM
3 moms liked this

I think #5 is your problem.....if you care about your child. 

cc5112
by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 2:25 PM

I could see it being a distraction and your daughter getting uncomfortable stares IF she was starting to go through puberty. At 7? Not so much.... Sometimes laws and rules as terms are used interchangeably - which is what it appears to be in this case. I don't think there is any indecency in a 7 year old girl not wearing a bathing suit top. However, I think it is good that the boss is looking into it to avoid future confusion from patrons.

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