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Well everyone...I'm 9 1/2 weeks pregnant...

Posted by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 12:04 AM
  • 35 Replies

I have no idea what or how to feel right now.

My husband got a vasectomy in October 2002.

We have 5 kids right now.  Our girls are 15, 13, 12 and 11.  Our son is 6.  Our son came to be after a very horrible night that I cannot remember.  I was 3,000 miles away from my husband visiting my mom with my girls.  I was date raped.  My husband is the only Daddy that our son will ever know.  I have no idea who raped me.

My new OB/GYN says that there is a .74% chance of my husband getting me pregnant.  That is POINT seventy four percent chance. (She also asked if I had had any other sexual partners.  I said "Nope" and that's the absolute truth.)

My mother in law is thrilled.  She has a grandbaby due in October, another one next January, and now we are due March 14th, 2015.  They had to do an ultrasound to determine how far along I am, because my girls threw away part of my calendar...the most important part.  I always mark my periods on it, and that part is missing.

My MiL is going to be here helping my SiL in January with their new baby, and she will be back in March to help with ours for a bit. 

My mom is less than thrilled, but she's accepting the news well.  She will be out here in the middle of September anyway.  She's excited because my "morning sickness" will basically be gone by then.  *sigh*  I don't really have the throwing up part...I just have the extreme nausea.  All day.  Every day.

I don't know how to tell my best friend.  I've known him for 30 years.  He is "Uncle Tuna" to my kids.  I don't know how to tell him because I just finished telling him back in the beginning of June that I couldn't be a surrogate for him and his partner because my last two pregnancies almost killed me. (which is absolutely true)

We came home and told our kids after we called our moms.  They are very excited, and our oldest is already dying to give me a baby shower, which I told her is not necessary.   She said that we are getting a baby shower, no ifs ands or buts.

I also have what they think is a benign tumor on my pelvic wall.  It's not close to the baby.  That has popped up in the last 6 years since my last ultrasound. 

I'm just scared, ladies.  I was perfectly content with our 5 kids, and now there's another on the way.  We are keeping the baby, no question.  I'm just nervous. And scared.

Back to diapers and such. 

Craziness.

by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 12:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cc5112
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 7:33 AM
2 moms liked this

Well, my first instinct is to say congratulations! I know it's not the happiest of ocassions for you, though. 

I really don't know what words of comfort I can offer. I will say this, and that is that I do understand, relate, and empathize with your being scared. I am 44 and have a 2 year old son. We decided late in life to have a child. Anyway, suffice to say that at 39 weeks and post delivery for a week, was the toughest, scariest moments for us. No point in going into details, lest I highjack your post. 

As for your best friend, well, he's your friend so he will understand your situation, know the health risks you are facing, etc. I can't imagine he'll be upset about your pregnancy knowing your situation AND that it was unexpected. 

Are you seeing a maternal-fetal specialist? You probably already know this but you are going to be monitored VERY closely. Have you discussed delivery options to reduce risk ( early induction around 36 -38 weeks, or possible c-section around this time, etc)?

I think it's a wonderful situation that you have the support of both your mom and MIL. I also think you and your husband are good people. Your son is with his loving family and could not be anywhere better:) 

A new baby, a newborn! It's hard not to be excited and I can understand your daughter's excitement. 

I do hope that your pregnancy goes well and uneventful as possible; and that you deliver a healthy beautiful baby.  

Big hug to you, momma. Remember, there is no wrong way to feel about this. 


rockchickmom
by Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 8:20 AM

Congrats. Just tell your best friend, he should understand if he's your best friend.
Surprise pregnancies aren't planned. Obviously.
I am a first time mom at 41 and my son is one now. I would love to be pregnant again but complications and major blood loss during the c section....and a new diagnoses of lupus and I can't take the chance. It is scary having a baby when you are a little older. I waited 20yrs for my boy, he's a miracle. Talk to your husband about your fears, and find time to relax and think about your new baby. Make plans, take photos of your belly.. try not to stress too much. Good luck with baby number six. 

Thelmama
by Thelma on Aug. 13, 2014 at 11:22 AM

Wow, what a shock.  Good luck, hugs, prayers and congratulations even if not expected. Hard to know what to say in your situation but you can do this and you have a supportive family.  What did your husband say? I bet he was in shock too.

I secretly wished before I had my hysterectomy that my tubal would fail and we would get a surprise baby.  Now that is off the table but I can understand your misgivings and mixed feelings and hopes and fears.

paganbaby
by Chesty La Rue on Aug. 13, 2014 at 12:16 PM

Oh wow... My heart goes out to you.

I know the timing isn't the best but congratulations and good luck. I hope everything smoothly for you.

Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:33 PM
Thank you! This IS a happy occasion, but I'm still in shock. *hugs* for you and your scariest times. Yeah, I just have to get up the courage to tell him. I'll get there soon. I am getting some genetic counseling and testing done next week, then the following week my OB and I will talk about what needs to be done. I know I'm already high risk, not only because of my age *35*, but because of how my last two pregnancies treated me.

Quoting cc5112:

Well, my first instinct is to say congratulations! I know it's not the happiest of ocassions for you, though. 

I really don't know what words of comfort I can offer. I will say this, and that is that I do understand, relate, and empathize with your being scared. I am 44 and have a 2 year old son. We decided late in life to have a child. Anyway, suffice to say that at 39 weeks and post delivery for a week, was the toughest, scariest moments for us. No point in going into details, lest I highjack your post. 

As for your best friend, well, he's your friend so he will understand your situation, know the health risks you are facing, etc. I can't imagine he'll be upset about your pregnancy knowing your situation AND that it was unexpected. 

Are you seeing a maternal-fetal specialist? You probably already know this but you are going to be monitored VERY closely. Have you discussed delivery options to reduce risk ( early induction around 36 -38 weeks, or possible c-section around this time, etc)?

I think it's a wonderful situation that you have the support of both your mom and MIL. I also think you and your husband are good people. Your son is with his loving family and could not be anywhere better:) 

A new baby, a newborn! It's hard not to be excited and I can understand your daughter's excitement. 

I do hope that your pregnancy goes well and uneventful as possible; and that you deliver a healthy beautiful baby.  

Big hug to you, momma. Remember, there is no wrong way to feel about this. 

Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you. Yeah, I just need to get some courage to do so. I'll find it soon. I am sorry you had problems.  My husband is so excited. We already have a girl name and a boy name picked out. He was too excited to wait for that. Oh yes...pics! I should start taking those. So much has changed in the 6 years since our youngest was born.

Quoting rockchickmom:

Congrats. Just tell your best friend, he should understand if he's your best friend.Surprise pregnancies aren't planned. Obviously.I am a first time mom at 41 and my son is one now. I would love to be pregnant again but complications and major blood loss during the c section....and a new diagnoses of lupus and I can't take the chance. It is scary having a baby when you are a little older. I waited 20yrs for my boy, he's a miracle. Talk to your husband about your fears, and find time to relax and think about your new baby. Make plans, take photos of your belly.. try not to stress too much. Good luck with baby number six. 

anotherandree
by Inga on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:38 PM
Congratulations!
MommeeTo4
by Smart Mouth McGee on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:39 PM
Well congrats and best of luck, if uncle tuna is your best friend he will understand.
Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:01 PM

Yes, quite a shock.  Thank you.  It's hard to know what to feel as well.  My husband is so excited he's busting at the seams.  We already have names picked out.  He was too excited to wait for that.  The longer I roll the names around in my head,  the more I like them.  I was scheduled for a tubal after Kaden was born (like literally right after), but since I had a 106° fever after he was born, they said they wouldn't operate on me.  Then I never had it done.  I'm already planning on it again after this one is born.

Quoting Thelmama: 

Wow, what a shock.  Good luck, hugs, prayers and congratulations even if not expected. Hard to know what to say in your situation but you can do this and you have a supportive family.  What did your husband say? I bet he was in shock too.

I secretly wished before I had my hysterectomy that my tubal would fail and we would get a surprise baby.  Now that is off the table but I can understand your misgivings and mixed feelings and hopes and fears.


Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:02 PM

Thank you.  We hope so too.

Quoting paganbaby:

Oh wow... My heart goes out to you.

I know the timing isn't the best but congratulations and good luck. I hope everything smoothly for you.


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