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Is it selfish?

Posted by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:27 PM
Amy
  • 13 Replies

So... suicide. There's been a lot of online talk, and talk in many of our homes, about the death of Robin Williams.  Such a tragedy.

So my question to you is.... do you think taking the option of committing suicide is a selfish act by the person doing it?  Why do you feel the way you do?  Has your life been touched in any way by suicide?

by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:00 PM

I don't think it's selfish at all.  I was hugging my boyfriend/love of my life when I was 16.  He pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head during our hug.  I never saw it coming.  Yes, his homelife was crappy, but he had me and amazing friends that hung out with us often.  Never once have I thought it was a selfish thing to do.  All I've ever felt is emptiness.

My husband has told me numerous times that what my boyfriend did was the most selfish thing in the world.  HOWEVER, if anyone tells him that his father's suicide was selfish, he will argue for days about how it was not selfish at all.

In my opinion (take this with a grain of salt)...It's easy to see suicide in a selfish light if you don't know anyone who has taken their own life or was close to a certain person that has.  Everyone is different in their thoughts and beliefs about this subject.  There is no right or wrong answer.

amonkeymom
by Amy on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:21 PM

OMG Stefanie, I'm so sorry.  What an awful experience, he must've been in a lot of pain to do it like that.  (((hug)))

Quoting Kmakksmom:

I don't think it's selfish at all.  I was hugging my boyfriend/love of my life when I was 16.  He pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head during our hug.  I never saw it coming.  Yes, his homelife was crappy, but he had me and amazing friends that hung out with us often.  Never once have I thought it was a selfish thing to do.  All I've ever felt is emptiness.

My husband has told me numerous times that what my boyfriend did was the most selfish thing in the world.  HOWEVER, if anyone tells him that his father's suicide was selfish, he will argue for days about how it was not selfish at all.

In my opinion (take this with a grain of salt)...It's easy to see suicide in a selfish light if you don't know anyone who has taken their own life or was close to a certain person that has.  Everyone is different in their thoughts and beliefs about this subject.  There is no right or wrong answer.


amonkeymom
by Amy on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:23 PM

My cousin lost his wife to suicide about 9 years ago.  She had been undergoing some hormone treatments in preparation for a full hysterectomy, and later it was discovered that she had stolen a large amount of money from her job as well.  She left behind my cousin and their three children.

I don't think what she did was selfish.  I truly believe she was not herself when she did these things, due to the medications or depression, I don't know, but she wasn't herself.

Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:27 PM

Thank you.  It took me until a few years ago to talk about it.  I wouldn't, couldn't talk about that.  The thing that really gets to me is that I should've seen something, in his demeanor or whatever that I could have helped him with.  I can't remember anything, besides his parents' despisal of him.  I guess that waa enough to push him over the edge. :(

Quoting amonkeymom:

OMG Stefanie, I'm so sorry.  What an awful experience, he must've been in a lot of pain to do it like that.  (((hug)))

Quoting Kmakksmom:

I don't think it's selfish at all.  I was hugging my boyfriend/love of my life when I was 16.  He pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head during our hug.  I never saw it coming.  Yes, his homelife was crappy, but he had me and amazing friends that hung out with us often.  Never once have I thought it was a selfish thing to do.  All I've ever felt is emptiness.

My husband has told me numerous times that what my boyfriend did was the most selfish thing in the world.  HOWEVER, if anyone tells him that his father's suicide was selfish, he will argue for days about how it was not selfish at all.

In my opinion (take this with a grain of salt)...It's easy to see suicide in a selfish light if you don't know anyone who has taken their own life or was close to a certain person that has.  Everyone is different in their thoughts and beliefs about this subject.  There is no right or wrong answer.


amonkeymom
by Amy on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:39 PM

I'm sure it's hard to not blame yourself for not seeing it coming, but it truly wasn't.  When someone has already made this decision, they are good at keeping it to themselves until they enact their plan.  

hugs

Quoting Kmakksmom:

Thank you.  It took me until a few years ago to talk about it.  I wouldn't, couldn't talk about that.  The thing that really gets to me is that I should've seen something, in his demeanor or whatever that I could have helped him with.  I can't remember anything, besides his parents' despisal of him.  I guess that waa enough to push him over the edge. :(

Quoting amonkeymom:

OMG Stefanie, I'm so sorry.  What an awful experience, he must've been in a lot of pain to do it like that.  (((hug)))

Quoting Kmakksmom:

I don't think it's selfish at all.  I was hugging my boyfriend/love of my life when I was 16.  He pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head during our hug.  I never saw it coming.  Yes, his homelife was crappy, but he had me and amazing friends that hung out with us often.  Never once have I thought it was a selfish thing to do.  All I've ever felt is emptiness.

My husband has told me numerous times that what my boyfriend did was the most selfish thing in the world.  HOWEVER, if anyone tells him that his father's suicide was selfish, he will argue for days about how it was not selfish at all.

In my opinion (take this with a grain of salt)...It's easy to see suicide in a selfish light if you don't know anyone who has taken their own life or was close to a certain person that has.  Everyone is different in their thoughts and beliefs about this subject.  There is no right or wrong answer.


Thelmama
by Thelma on Aug. 13, 2014 at 4:03 PM

Years ago I was in that dark, dark place and came really close to taking my own life. My faith is what saved me.  Depression, severe depression can hit anyone and it can be so pervasive you can't think.  I did get help and counseling and was on meds for a while. My faith has helped me and I am stronger today for having walked to the brink and survived it.  Standing at the brink of that dark, dark place is a feeling no one can understand unless they have been there. Everything is different there, sounds, feelings, smells, tastes, sights and sounds. Everything is dark and painful and life feels like there is no hope. BUT if you can come out the other side you find hope again and life is not as bad as it seemed at the brink.  I don't know how I survived. It was for me like I heard God's voice saying NO don't do it, stay here.  I can't explain it well. 

143myboys9496
by Suzzanne on Aug. 13, 2014 at 10:47 PM

I think that someone who's committed suicide, feels so low and bad that killing themselves is the only viable way out. 

I don't think THEY think of it as a selfish act. I don't think they mean it to be a selfish act. I think that they're so desperate to NOT feel however they've been feeling they see it as the only way out. 

I think it's sad. Sad that someone can feel so horrible, so low, that they feel the best and only option they have is suicide. 

I feel for the family members left behind, oftentimes they have so many questions. Questions that'll never be answered. 

autodidact
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 10:57 PM

Robin Williams wasn't selfish. 

cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 12:49 AM

I think people thaat call suicdesh truly have no understanding about why people do it. For many people with depression they think the world would be better off without them. To them suicide in a way is helpful to their family and friends. They often feel like a burden and don't see how much their family loves and cares about them.

cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 12:54 AM

 I'm sorry you went through that. I can't even imagine how hard it must have been for you

Quoting Kmakksmom:

I don't think it's selfish at all.  I was hugging my boyfriend/love of my life when I was 16.  He pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head during our hug.  I never saw it coming.  Yes, his homelife was crappy, but he had me and amazing friends that hung out with us often.  Never once have I thought it was a selfish thing to do.  All I've ever felt is emptiness.

My husband has told me numerous times that what my boyfriend did was the most selfish thing in the world.  HOWEVER, if anyone tells him that his father's suicide was selfish, he will argue for days about how it was not selfish at all.

In my opinion (take this with a grain of salt)...It's easy to see suicide in a selfish light if you don't know anyone who has taken their own life or was close to a certain person that has.  Everyone is different in their thoughts and beliefs about this subject.  There is no right or wrong answer.

 

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