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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

Saddened By Life's Events

Posted by on Jun. 18, 2011 at 3:22 PM
  • 5 Replies

I had been married for 13 years when my husband told me he was moving out and he wanted a divorce.  We have 2 small children, 2 and 3, so I never thought that this would happen.  Yeah, we had been having problems, but I didn't think they had gotten that bad until one day I found his conversation with another woman on his laptop, 15 years his junior, and then I knew that it was over.  I have been so angry at him and I want to hate him so bad, but I just can't seem to do it.  He wants to be friends with me because of our kids, but I don't want to be his friend.  I don't want anything to do with him anymore.  What he did was awful and inexcusable.  If that isn't bad enough, now our 3 year old doesn't want anything to do with him.  She tells me she is mad at daddy and that she is scared of him.  I know he would never do anything to her, but it still makes me wonder sometimes?  I don't know, I am just so frustrated that I have been crying all the time for the last 3 months that he has been gone.  I don't know what to do, is there anything I can do to make this easier and quit crying?

by on Jun. 18, 2011 at 3:22 PM
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Replies (1-5):
easinpc
by Silver Member on Jun. 18, 2011 at 5:45 PM
1 mom liked this

I am so sorry to hear about everything that you and your children are going through.  I know it is very hard right now, but you just have to keep reminding yourself that you have two little ones that love you and keep going forward.  After my sons father and I separated/divorced my son was my strongest motivator to get out of bed and go to work and keep going.  Please feel free to send me a pm any time you need to talk.  We are all here for you when you need us!  *hugs*

RLSMOM59
by Silver Member on Jun. 19, 2011 at 9:17 PM
2 moms liked this

The first thing you are going to have to learn to do is love yourself. Once you learn to love yourself, things will get easier. You, as well as many other women, tend to blame themselves when the marriage goes bad but it takes two to tango. After finding yourself, learn to love your children  more. Don't take your anger out on them. Just because you and their father do not get along, you have to becuase you have children. You don't have to have long, friendly coversations but be cordial and respectful.

You will have good days and bad days. I have been on my own for 6 years and some days I just wonder how I am going to put food on the table. There are times when I have enough money not to worry for a couple of weeks. When you find yourself down, call a find just to say hi and have a short conversation. Try not to talk about your problems at that time. Save it for another time.

Finally I always go to work with a smile on my face no matter how badly I feel. That gets me through the day and the guys always tell me they like when I answer the phone because I'm alwyas happy. GL and email if you want to just chat.

gettingoverit
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 5:53 PM

hows life been ive noticed this happened a while ago did your husband ever regret what he did 

gsmom9
by Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 6:13 PM

mine has been gone since 2007. he acts and looks miserable, but ive caught him up to his old tricks, cheating on his present girlfreind. ive caught him in alot of lies and when i corrected him, he lied some more. do i have stupid written all over my face? i just intervened, because i didnt want my son at this chicks house. her and her married just unmarried boyfreind have numerous felons on their records. at least one of his involve a violent act. i hate being pulled in the middle, but i got to protect my kid.

Monsita
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2013 at 7:08 PM

I did cry a lot too!!!

I felt so hurt, alone and not strong enough to face it on my own; so I SEARCHED FOR AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH GOD: through reading, praying, going to church, serving those in much worst situations than me, (homeless, abuse women that hardly made it out of their marriage alive, people who were dealing with terminal illness).  

It woked for me....wish you the best of luck finding how to overcome, all of your emotions!!!

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