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Divorce & Starting Over Divorce & Starting Over

Why do I do it????

Posted by on Nov. 1, 2011 at 2:53 PM
  • 7 Replies

I am still "friends" with my stbx on facebook.  I have him blocked so I don't see his posts on my wall but I can't stop checking his wall to see what he's posting.  I did that yesterday and saw a post where he told someone I don't know that he was looking forward to some sort of group outing next weekend.  Ever since I saw that post I've been in a funk and this isnt' the frist time it's happened.  He left me with no notice about 8 months ago and has been traveling and socializing ever since.  I don't have any close friends and dont' have the money to travel so I'm stuck at home, even when it's his weekend with the kids.  I need to STOP checking his facebook page but can't seem to help myself.  I dont' want to unfriend him because I want to see when he's posted things about our kids.  What do I do????

 

banging head into wall

Mom to a beautiful daughter, Carson - 17, and a wonderful son, Maclean - 15.


 

by on Nov. 1, 2011 at 2:53 PM
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Replies (1-7):
mommyRojo
by Member on Nov. 1, 2011 at 3:13 PM

I know its hard.  I have a friend in the same boat.  She can't "unfriend" but gets all bent out of shape when she reads his post.  You have to "defriend"  its not doing you any good.  Even if you still need time, need to cry, be angry...thats fine.  Just don't "create" more misery for yourself by checking his posts!

Good Luck......this too shall pass. 

GraLauJon
by on Nov. 1, 2011 at 3:56 PM

IS he posting things about your kids? my H and i dont have each other friended on FB but he is mad at me and his brother's ex for friending their family members. but their family members ask us to. our kids are their kids' cousins.  i dont really care to know what he is about b/c i know he is a mental case and a pathalogical liar and it will get on my nerves to see how he is playing people.  You need to get to a place where you just dont care anymore. im sorry this hurts you....hang in there.  i get the same way about stuff with friends if i feel left out.

CAGsMama
by on Nov. 1, 2011 at 5:41 PM
Unfriend him for your own sanity. You obviously have no control over checking his FB, close your eyes and hit the unfriend button. You'll feel better eventually not being able to find out his life details.
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t-jill
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 6:03 AM

Yes knowing they're out enjoying themselves with friends and colleagues that you were either excluded or humiliated (my case) hurts. Mine did the same thing to me yesterday too. A friend's b-day party, so can he take her earlier on Sunday. I almost replied, "You mean I wasn't invited?!!" The kid's mother works with my h (you know, the "work wife"). I just said "okay, thanks!" But feel awful knowing what he's doing.

GraLauJon
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 7:58 AM

sad in my case, b/c my H went out on me when married and living here. half the time he didnt come home. i feel more at peace with him out of the house and not HAVING to know what he is up to. the kids and i keep busy here. we are happy with our SANE life.  i do hope you can adjust soon and feel content with the life you are living now.   My H has always latched onto us for the stuff we are doing. i never wanted to get into what he was up to anyway.  Im sure that is the difference.  so whenever he feels like coming over to our world to experience this stuff he does.  but the kids will be grown one day and two kids have already weaned themselves off of him. so we are winding down with alot of that.  my H's family still invites us to their functions. we rarely go, but maybe once a year.   but we are living a much better life now without my Hs stuff interfering....i hope you can get to that point, too.  I remember the initial separation where we were both scrambling around for time with the kids...which he never was interested in before.  so we have agreed to "family time" on weekends so the other person doesnt miss out. its how we agreed to handle things. others cut their relationship completley off.    i know we will too.  but we are letting the youngest finish out her early years still intact as much as we can. It means alot to her.  {{HUGS}}

Montreatgrad
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 8:44 AM

 Thanks ladies!  This is such a GREAT place to find friendship, support, and advice!!

easinpc
by Silver Member on Nov. 2, 2011 at 2:12 PM

I agree with the other moms, as hard as it may be it may be in your best interest to delete him as a friend on facebook.  *hugs*

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