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Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:19 PM
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I was married for 18 years, had 3 fabulous children, my pregnancies were awesome, only morning sickness I had was 30 minutes. They were great babies, nursed and no complications.  Was a stay at home Mom the entire time. I supported ex ass husband through 3, yes 3 fire academies until finally 10 years later he made it. 3 years into the job he cheats on me, giving me 2 std's and then telling me the other woman loves him and he loves her and she " understands" him.  LOLOLOLOL  Right!

 I told him she only saw the " meal ticket " in him because she was a single mother and has two kids out of wedlock!  She just wanted to be taken care of. So during the " saving my marriage " stage I was in, my heart as you all know, felt like it could not or would never heal from the pain I was going through.  The pain, was excruciating and I felt I could not breath, or even get a full lungs worth of life sustaining air.  I heard and read from the elders of divorce, that it does get better, you can be happy without him, you can smile, laugh,  even forget about it / him.  

To me, that was a foreign concept. I mean , how could I forget this man I vowed to love to the end of my life? I know I could, but now, now he changed all of that, how could I move forward and live without him. What was he doing, with who, her, them, since the kids were always with me. How can he live without us, me, the kids, our family. Why? Why would he want to live without us... we loved him.  She didn't! How,  When was " that day " going to come.  That famous day when I would / could laugh and think of him and just .... just nothing!  

Well I had it last night!  I have had many of them and knew I was having that moment when I did, but last night I really let it settle into my HEART!  We were driving home last night from a game my dd who made the cheer team(competitive) was cheering at.  

We needed milk and I went to Albertson's.  Dd asked if we could get cookies and I said no, then I saw a coupon to save $1 on the cookies if I bought milk with it. Well I was buying 3 gallons so I was Mommy of the day, I told her to get 3 boxes of cookies.  She was all giddy. When my ds's saw the cookies they were all " whoa, Mom we got 3 ? thanks".  So we were driving home and we were all talking about the game (volleyball), things that happened at school, the teachers and then ds said something that made me laugh.  

He said, "Mom you must be really happy because you got 3 boxes of cookies, why?  Because you have 3 kids?"  I smiled and said yes!  We laughed out loud and as I was driving and I looked out of the my window I saw the stars in the clear midnight blue  California sky and thought...

Im HAPPY, I LOVE my children, Im NOT missing him, GOD I LOVE you. Thank you for all of this and Im HAPPY, I AM HAPPY, SO HAPPY......stupid ass is missing ALLLLLLL of this.......but its mine.....ALL MINE!  

Im HAPPY, REALL HAPPY.....what a beautiful starry California Night!......Ahhhhhh  Im going to have 2 of all 3 cookies! 

Sorry sap  oh what a smuck he's missing this night in their lives.... so girls you get to share this with us, ME!

So this is me being HAPPY AGAIN! 

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 11:25 PM

aww. good for you! congratulations.  i have been going thru those moments too where i just thank God for all we do have. How blessed we are. and safe and taken care of. how i appreciate my house, my time with my kids. how could i complain.  i understand where you are at, and i sit under the same sector of the world with you under the california canopy.  the change in weather is great.  seeing the girls with their cheer team.  watching my son get an academic award at school.  in sickness and in health i stick by my kids and they see that security at least in one parent.  we are happy too and i am a proud mama.  you keep on truckin, girlie.

by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 7:18 PM

I hope that on day I will be happy again. where do you live at in cali? I live in southern

by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 7:26 PM
congrats!!! I am happy that you finally made it to this point! it is going to get so much better from now on! yay for you!! :)
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by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 7:34 PM

That’s awesome to be in that place emotional and mentally, good for you and your children…  And last night was beautiful out in CA  ;)

by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 8:07 PM

Yes!! that is what i like to hear. you go girl

by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 8:13 PM

Thanks gals! 

by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 8:14 PM

oh... and i want a cookie


by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 8:16 PM

I live in So. Cal, North Pomona ( Los Angeles County Fair Grounds), by La Verne University /  San Dimas.

by on Nov. 10, 2011 at 8:17 PM

LOL I finished half of the box....Im REEEALLY  HAPPY.... 

by on Nov. 11, 2011 at 1:38 PM

 It's nice to get to that HaPpY place!!  You go girl!!!

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