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What is the best way to start the "conversation"?

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:30 AM
  • 7 Replies

I told my husband in July I was done and wanted out, he cried, he sobbed, he asked me over and over to give him a chance, I told him I would (I'm regretting that decision now), but I also told him I didn't really want to,  he has told me 2 or 3 times that "I will not sign divorce papers, we will never get divorced, and you will never leave this house with my daughter"  I can't stay, I made the decision to wait until after Christmas to tell him that I can't continue the way that we have, I dread coming home, I work late so that I don't have to, he works nights 3-4 days a week and I absolutely love those nights that he's gone.  When he hugs me it's very clingy and drapey and annoying as heck, he always sounds so sad and lonely and calls me and texts me to tell me he misses me, needs me, wants me back, he just can't live his life without me...I know it's all about guilt, although, I'm also not sure he could live without me, he's never been alone, he went from mommy to me.  I'm wondering how I'm going to start the discussion of telling him I won't live the lie I've been living anymore, I don't love him and I can't stay married to him, despite what he and our pastor say I do have a choice and I'm making it!  (they both told me that divorce was not an option to even be considered).  We've been married for 19 years!

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:30 AM
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Replies (1-7):
cara124
by Cara on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:46 AM

my suggestion go file for divorce & hand him the papers !

as for your pastor... he doesnt have to live your life so he really has no idea what life is like for you .....

 

Sheraymonet
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:18 PM

I agree with PP, file papers.

1likeme
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:17 PM
Sounds like a bunch of posturing on his part. He has no power to keep your child from you or to refuse a divorce. There are these handy dandy little family laws that superceed his authority. I actually wouldn't say anything else. I would pack my things and my child's things then move out and file for divorce and custody right away. Take the wind out of his sails and don't believe his bully tactics hold any real weight.
Kiwiann
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:02 PM

One thing...I want to stay in the house, I want him to leave, he can't afford the house on his own, I can...otherwise I would move out, but more and more the thought of just having him served is appealing, scary but appealing...

KeriAZ
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 12:59 PM

What I did is i got the paperwork together and served him when he got out of his truck. He said "Whats this?" I said "You have bn served. I filed for divorce!" He cried and whined. Said he had no where else to go. I told him that I dont care where he goes but he is  not coming back into my house again. I even packed ALL his clothes and personal crap outside. So when that was done I turned and walked back into the house and locked the door.

I think that is what you are gonna half to do. If you want out then go file for divorce. And what religon says you cant divorce besides Catholic? But you can do what ever you want.

donnadea
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 3:40 PM
catholics are not the only religion that says divorce should not be an option. Mormons, jews, baptists, seventh day adventists etc. Pretty much any religion that follows the bible. The bible says you should not divorce. The only acceptable instance for someone to seek a divorce is if the other mate commits adultry. Thats what it says in the bible.
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easinpc
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2011 at 7:14 PM

I agree with this.

Quoting cara124:

my suggestion go file for divorce & hand him the papers !

as for your pastor... he doesnt have to live your life so he really has no idea what life is like for you .....

 


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