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what do you all think?

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 10:49 PM
  • 13 Replies
my xh's parents have been really good to me and the kids. They help us out and i go over to their house and clean twice a week to help them out. They have paid my electric bill, paid to have my car fixed etc and say that they dont mind helping cuz my younest is their grandson and my other kids after 8 yrs are their grandkids too as far as they are concerned. My x and his new wife are fixing up the house next door to his parents house so they can move in there(the house where me and the kids used to live with him). i have never met his new wife but i guess hes told her lots about me and lied to her about why we arent together any more. Anyway... His new wife saw my car in his parents driveway and flipped out. Told his mom shes nothing to you now why do you keep having her come over here cuz im your daughter in law now not her etc etc... Aparently she wants them to not talk to me any more etc and cant understand why they do. This is going to make things difficult with me working for them 2 days a week
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by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 10:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
donnadea
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 10:57 PM
to pay back for all the help they have been giving me. But if they are going to be living next door and shes going to flip out every time she sees my car over there... Not sure what to do about this. They say dont worry about it she will have to get used to it but i dont know. I dont want there to be problems but i guess thats what happens when he marries someone thats barely half his age. She acts like a spoiled child. His mom says she also wont let the baby stay over there without her being there cuz she thinks i might come over and she doesnt want me around her kid. The kid is almost 2 and they havent been able to do anything with her cuz she acts like they dont know how to take care of a kid even tho they raised 5 kids. I dont know what to think of her. I just try to stay away from her.
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donnadea
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:06 PM
oh i forgot to mention the financial help they have given me is a lot more than i could ever pay back. They paid my electric bill twice this summer and fixed my car twice and also bought new tires for the car. The car isnt actualy mine its in his dads name and they let me use it. When they talk to me about the car they refer to it as your car. Like let us know if theres any more problems with your car etc. I feel bad about them always having to help and my family is not around to help. We came up with the cleaning twice a week at their house as a way to kind of let me pay them back cuz his mom is very sick and cant take care of the house so they would be paying someone to help with the house anyway if i wasnt coming over to do it.
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cara124
by Cara on Dec. 4, 2011 at 12:15 PM
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i wouldnt worry about the new wife.... if the ex inlaws arent concerned about her then you shouldnt let it affect you.... if she sees your car in the drive way she can stay home....

tottaxi
by Battle Weary on Dec. 4, 2011 at 5:30 PM


Quoting cara124:

i wouldnt worry about the new wife.... if the ex inlaws arent concerned about her then you shouldnt let it affect you.... if she sees your car in the drive way she can stay home....


Cara is right.  Your arrangement and relationship with your ex-ILs is none of her business.  I would go about your business as usual and if she comes over and rants at you DO NOT ENGAGE.  You can't fix stupid and she isn't going to hear anything you have to say anyway.  Just hear her out and when she shuts up say "I'm sorry you feel that way.  Excuse me."  And walk away.

You didn't divorce your ex to become controlled by his new wife.  Don't worry about her AT ALL.

BraysMama08
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 6:13 PM

As has been stated, if your ex's parents aren't worried about then you don't need to be worried about it.

My dad's parents loved my mom, well, my grandpa did... not so much my grandma [but she liked her a lot more than my SM].  I know it probably annoyed my dad and my SM but they didn't show it.  They were grown ups about it.  It was better for me.

I hate to tell you but if that's how his new wifey is acting it's not going to last.  She's clearly a jealous person and it's going to drive a wedge between them.  She'll strain a relationship with his parents and he'll get sick of it.

Even if that doesn't happen, the bottom line is what his parents do is NONE of her business.  They're grown adults and can be friends with and care about whomever they want.  You shouldn't feel bad about anything.

donnadea
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 6:47 PM
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ok thanks for your advice. I was starting to feel bad about it like maybe i was causing problems for them but yall are right. Its her problem.
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easinpc
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2011 at 7:16 PM

I agree with this.  If the ex in-laws aren't concerned I wouldn't be either.  Good luck!

Quoting cara124:

i wouldnt worry about the new wife.... if the ex inlaws arent concerned about her then you shouldnt let it affect you.... if she sees your car in the drive way she can stay home....


Peregrine
by Bronze Member on Dec. 5, 2011 at 4:02 PM

 Tell the new wife to grow up. She has no right trying to control other people.

GraLauJon
by on Dec. 6, 2011 at 11:25 AM

I think you are wise in just staying away from the new wife.  and i think your problem is fixed by her not wanting to go near you or her inlaws house if your car is in their driveway.  it kinda sounds like the new wife is making excuses not to go over there anyway.  count your blessings.   my inlaws have told me outright that no matter what, our kids are related to them so they still welcome all of us into their lives, even after divorce.  they all know that their sister's (my MIL) kids are messed up. they try to counsel their sister b/c she raised such a dysfunctional family. but words only go so far.  so we all just move along and live our lives accordingly.  you are being provided for.... dont look a gift horse in the mouth.

donnadea
by on Dec. 6, 2011 at 11:38 AM

I think the main problem is that his parents don't agree with how and why he left me and the kids. So they don't really do anything with them. They watch the baby for them every once in a while cuz they say that its not the babys fault her dad is an *** but thats it. They are moving in next door but they won't be living there for free. They are buying the house from his parents.  When he and I lived there we only paid $300 a month rent and that was only after the first year when he got a stable job and all. I think her main problem is that they don't really like her. She wants to have them over for dinner and go out places with them etc. but they don't really want to do that stuff with them.  On the other hand, they let me use their car, they help me get the car fixed, get tires, pay my insurance cuz I can't afford it, they take us out for dinner or lunch sometimes etc.  I don't know, maybe she is a little bit right about them helping too much and being too nice to me when they don't even want to do anything for or with them.  Its just getting kind of weird but I don't have any of my family to help me out. If I didn't need the help I probably would still visit with them but just not as often.

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